Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
I was just looking through some of my bridal shower pics, you know the one's... I'm holding the bag filled to the brim of elastic waistband granny pants from you and your mom! We were laughing so hard we were crying! I could alway's count on you to bring me to my knee's in laughter. How sweet my joy will be when we meet again Kristy. I love you and miss you something crazy!
Loving you forever,
Thursday, February 5, 2009
On behalf of everyone reading this blog, and everyone that has written, I would like to give a big Thank You. This has been a source of healing for me and countless others. We have grown from each other's stories, thoughts, jokes and photographs. Hearing from Ann and other family members has been a special experience. We all love Kristy, the beautiful dark-haired girl. We miss her.
Thank you for putting forth enough effort to write about Kristy, thank you for surrounding each other with uplifting thoughts, and most of all, thank you for keeping Kristy and her family in your constant thoughts and prayers.
May her 30 years of beautiful life be a foundation for many. May her ups and downs shape us into better people. May we read entries here from time to time and cry, laugh, smile and make resolutions.
May we always love each other.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
I wish I had known Kristy. I wish I knew those who know her. But our paths haven't crossed except here and I am grateful to you, Sarah, for the friend you have been to Kristy and to all of those who have been able to share thoughts, feelings and love. I will miss reading new tributes. But I thank you, again, for this gift. God bless you, Ann, in your caring and nurturing of these precious little boys. God bless each of Kristy's "best" friends. I can only imagine the loss you must feel every day. Thank heaven, although the "missing her" never goes away, it just gets a little easier to bear.
With love and admiration,
An admirer in Cedar Hills
Friday, January 16, 2009
I considered her to be my best friend the past several years. I think that a lot of people can say that about her, too. That shows what kind of person she was. I have been thinking about some of my favorite memories of Kristy: our several trips to Dipidee (while dieting) and then hiding the evidence, Friday afternoons meeting at the farmers market, Sunday dinners and hanging out on Sundays, her awesome makeup applications, racing through the Gardens on the segway demos and nearly getting kicked out, meeting up with her and Brandon at Disneyland at 10:00 at night and then being the last to leave the park, playing Cranium and Phase 10 into the wee hours of morning, she was always comparing our butts, watching girly movies together, the time she accidentally tried to put Carter's binky in my mouth (she just gave birth to him and was really tired), she was the worst secret keeper but she always had a way of getting things out of me, I would swear her to secrecy but she would always blab, I should have figured she would always tell because every other phone call started out by her saying "umm...I shouldn't be saying this to you but..." and then she would tell me someone else's secret! I could go on and on with favorite memories.
She gave so much to me. I always felt she gave to me much more than I gave to her. She helped me through my pregnancy losses. In fact, when I had just miscarried I would refuse to answer my phone to everyone but her. She was so comforting during those times. She was the first to know about my last pregnancy (she bought me the hpt). She hugged me while I cried and listened to me about my fear about losing again. I know she would be so happy that I carried this pregnancy. I sometimes imagine her talking baby talk to my baby and cuddling her.
A few days before she died she called me and said "no matter what just remember that I love you". I love you too, Kristy! I miss you tons. 'Till we meet again.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
When I was pregnant with my only child, I was anxious to know what I was in for as far as the whole "childbirth" experience. Every woman that I asked seemed to sugar-coat it and say things like "it's not that bad" or that it would feel like "really bad cramps", etc. Brandon was about two months old by this time, and I knew Kristy wouldn't try to "BS" me . . . She laid it down and told me that I'd better not have anything nearby that could be considered a lethal weapon because I would seriously consider using it on myself during hard labor. She then added that I'd better not be too attached to my breasts because they were going to turn into "pancake boobs" by the time I was done breast feeding. Nice . . .
When Kristy and I were working together, we would take frequent trips to Starbucks for a little "pick me up". Kristy would usually just order a small hot chocolate, unless I offered to buy, in which case her order would suddenly change to a grande hot chocolate with vanilla, and maybe a piece of coffee cake or something to tide her over until lunch. She said that her appetite grew when somebody else was paying . . .
A few years back, by way of channel surfing, I had stumbled across the Reality Genre's newest creation, "Dog the Bounty Hunter". More often than I'd like to admit, I'd find myself staying up way past my bedtime watching it. It was like a train wreck; I couldn't look away! I was talking to Kristy the following week and was about to make my confession to her, but I had only uttered the words "You're not going to believe what stupid show I've gotten myself addicted to . . .", when she finished it for me with "Let me guess? Dog the Bounty Hunter?". It seem she too, was guilty of the same pleasure.
I think of her every time something funny happens because I know that she would laugh with me. For those of you that knew her; do you remember that laugh she had when she would throw her head back with her mouth open and her eyes shut? Did she ever demonstrate the "PTA Mom Dance" for you? I might still cry from time to time when I really miss her, but I think the laughter will far outweigh the tears!
Your Fellow Earthquake Survivor (Sarah)
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
This year has been difficult but I try to move forward with the fortitude and strength that Kristy has. Her little boys deserve no less than what their mommy would have given them.
We are back home in Washington for good. All of your prayers have been answered. We have permanent guardianship of Brandon and Carter. We are all getting used to each other in a new setting and environment. We had the whole family together for the holidays. It really helped us to think forward instead of backwards. We are starting to feel the joy and laughter in our lives again.
I would like to talk with you briefly about grieving. These are the stages that we go through. It may help you to know where you are along the grieving path. First is SHOCK. In this case it was an incredible incomprehensible shock. Second is DENIAL. We play these mental games like we say to ourselves that Kristy will be bounding through the door with a big grin on her face and say Just kidding!! Then the incredible pain that comes with the full impact of how evil this was and that it is permanent. Then comes the Anger. Whoooahhh. In this case it is a really big one that leaves a lot of us dealing with an anger that we are not prepared to deal with. I feel like there is only one way out of the anger and that is forgiveness.
The true spiritual meaning of forgiveness is to place it in God's hands to measure out justice. This whole experience has taught me that I have a perfect faith in God's justice. It will be just as exact as it should be, no more and no less. There is absolutely no thing that I or anyone else can do to screw up David's life anymore than he has done to himself. It is our moral obligation to make sure that he is never in a position to do this to another family ever again, thus the law of the land. It is so easy to get caught up in the anger stage of grieving. If we do then we give our personal power to David Ragsdale to destroy our lives. I for one refuse to let that man have any influence or power over me ever again. The last and most important stage of grieving is GRATITUDE. Get a piece of paper and write down all of the wonderful things that Kristy brought into your life. Don't cry because she's gone but laugh and smile because she came into your life. Now come on, admit it. Your life would not have been as colorful if Kristy has not come into it. Anger and gratitude cannot dwell in the same heart. Be as determined as I am that righteousness shall prevail in my life and the lives of my loved ones.
Just remember that we are all unique individuals and our grieving will be as unique as we are. We will all be on a different time table. That is okay and cool. God and life experiences make us all different. Just keep working at it and try to learn as much from the experience as you can.
Thanks to all of you for the amazing support you have been to my family and the boys. Some acts of kindness were huge and others may be seen as small but added all together were incredible. It has shown me over and over that my Heavenly Father knows me personally and that he inspires righteous people to action in my behalf. The timing of the service and gifts were in the very moment that I needed to know that I was loved and thought of. It was too perfect to be coincidental. It was orchestrated by a higher power. God has answered your prayers abundantly. Our lives have been strengthened and enriched by this whole process as we witness the incredible good in people..
If it has been a while since you have told your mom, daughter, best friend, spouse or children that you love them... please take my advise and do it today in memory of Kristy. You never know if it will be the last conversation you will have with your loved one so say what is in your heart and have no regrets. It is an awesome thing. Oh how I know- and I am so grateful for our last loving hours together- my Kristy and I .
In your memory I have tried to serve others more. Service has become a very important part of my life. My grandma, who I idolized, was also a great example of this. It makes me feel good to emulate you both and mostly my Savior in this way.
In your memory, I have put some fears aside and am working on developing some talents (wish they were talents), working on some hobbies that I have put off.
In your memory, I have reprioritized my life. I am working outside the home less and doing a better job of putting my family first.
In your memory, I am trying to be a better friend and express my love to those around me.
In your memory, I am loving the life I have been given. I am trying to life it to the fullest and NO MORE REGRETS.
In your memory, I hold my children longer and tighter. I spend more quality time with them. I let them, my wonderful husband, and my Heavenly Father know how thankful I am to have them in my life.
Thank you so much for all that you have taught me. Happy Birthday! I love you! I went to visit your grave today and left laughing, because I know you had to be laughing at me. I’ve had some flowers I’ve meant to drop off the last couple of months. I couldn’t believe how deep the snow was. I wasn’t exactly dressed for the 3’ feet of snow that was waiting for me. I was determined to get the flowers to your grave. With every step my brand new Tommy Hilfiger dress shoes were falling off. I was practically walking in my socks. Not to mention, falling over with every step that I had to stop and pull my shoes out of the snow. It was a quite a sight. Needless to say, I’ll be wearing snow boots next year. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is:)
I dug up my old missionary letters, journal and pictures the other day so I could write a letter I’ve been meaning to get to for some time now… I came across a couple of letters from Kristy and it made me think of her great, quirky sense of humor and contagious happy spirit. I served with Kristy in Dothan, Alabama the end of 1999. One letter had a picture of her dressed as a nun and said: “Sister Act, No Sex. No Booze. No Men. No Way.” She sent me the letter September 2000, only three weeks from her coming home from her mission. This letter was typical Kristy, always trying to make people laugh and smile. She always was telling me how much she loved me and I knew that she did. I also could tell how much she loved everyone around her. She especially loved her family and talked about them all the time. She talked about wanting to set up her brother, Andy, with one of her mission companions. I ended up meeting Andy through another friend of mine in a BYU singles ward and felt like I already knew him. He later ended up marrying one of Kristy’s companions.
We always had a great time listening to church music and Disney tunes in our missionary car. Some of our favorites were “The Ugly Bug Ball, Tarzan”, and Hilary Weeks “He Will”. Some of her funniest moments occurred when we had cockroaches in the apartment and she would grab a can of starch and spray them stiff or she would quote the movie lines from “Steel Magnolias”. She had a great big heart for the youth in our area. We worked with a family in the ward that had a teenage daughter that was struggling with some things, and Kristy took her under her wing, talked to her, loved her and tried to help her see her potential as a Daughter of God. You could tell that this young girl really looked up to Kristy and appreciated her advice and loved her as well. She loved and respected our Mission President, President Millett and his wife, as well. She was so excited to go and see them at their homecoming when they returned home from their mission.
Kristy was always dressed nice and took time to present herself well. By the time I was finishing up with my mission, we tried converting her to wear jumpers and cotton skirts like some of us other sisters did. We always wanted to wear her clothes because she had the best wardrobe. She loved pear lotion from Victoria’s secret and every time I smell it, I think of Kristy. I loved to hear Kristy sing. Some of my favorite memories were when Kristy sung, whether it was in Zone Conference with Sister Bridgers, a baptism or even just in the car.
When she got home from her mission and she moved down to Utah, she was so anxious to set me up and find me a husband. She was always trying to set everyone up and marry them off. She always took great care of her appearance, her home and made people feel so welcome. My only regret is that I didn’t get to spend as much time with Kristy since she had moved to Utah. Kristy had a way of making everyone feel loved. I love reading about how many lives she touched. I am forever grateful I was one of them. You’ll be in forever in my heart, “Sister Palizzi”! Happy Birthday!
Crystal Hawkins Turner
I loved having Ann and her boys here.....even though I know how was selfish it was of me to want them to stay. I wish I would have gone to see her more often while she was here. Ann was such a source of strength for so many of us, even though it should have been the other way around. I loved getting to know her better....and I truly loved her strong-willed, fun personality. I loved the advice she would give me, and I'll never forget the times we spent talking about Kristy. I loved seeing Kristy's boys smile....and I loved the feeling I'd get in my heart that they were truly going to be OK.
It has been said many times, but I am still amazed at the dedication and love Kristy's family has shown through all this. I can't believe it's already been a year since I heard the horrible news of her death. I can still feel that shock and sadness when I remember that day, one year ago. I will never forget her funeral and feeling the overwhelming message of "forgiveness"... and being in utter amazement of that.
I have some of Kristy's things in my house right now, and there isn't a day when I see those things... that I don't think of Kristy, and how she should be enjoying them right now. I know she's busy and continuing her great missionary work...but I can still hear her voice sometimes. Maybe I'm crazy....Maybe I'm not..... But I can honestly hear her telling me sometimes to just "enjoy my kids"..... I can hear the overwhelming message to just "slow down" and "enjoy them" ....so many times. I know she'd love how they crawl up onto the table that was hers and sing a song for me. I know she'd love how they'll grab their books and want to color up there. I know she'd love how they're just having fun being KIDS. I have learned so much in the past year. I feel like I've strengthened friendships and gained some new friends because of Kristy. I feel so grateful for the blessings I have in my life....and still so sad to have lost a friend so soon. I am so grateful for the knowledge we have that we will be able to see her again. I am so grateful to Ann for spending so much time with us and letting us continue to feel so close to Kristy through her and the boys.
Happy Birthday, Kristy! I miss you, and I'll be thinking of you today.....
Friday, January 2, 2009
I do not know Kristy or at least I never had the chance to meet her in this life. I feel however that she has made such a difference in my life the past year. As a new mother and part of a family with a history of suicide I have experienced some depression in the past year. I assume it's mostly normal, the typical baby blues. It's always difficult for me to smile once the holidays are over. I recall last year being in my blue state when I heard about Kristy. My heart ached for her family, her children, parents and in-laws too. I can't say I know how they felt but I think I can empathize with their pain after losing both my brother and father in very tragic deaths.
I logged onto this blog out of curiosity. I was blown away by the impact that one person has made in this world. She was loved by so many people. Her smile radiated and I assume would light up any room she entered. I have enjoyed reading the many stories about her and seeing all the pictures. It has made me often wonder what my blog would say. Will I leave this world with such a big footprint stamped in people's hearts? Will they remember me for my kindness, my talents, the type of friend I have tried to be?
Kristy, although you are gone from this world I know that you aren't too far away. Thank you for reminding me of what is important. Thank you for pushing me to be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend. Thank you for teaching me how important my example can be to others, even strangers. I hope one day to meet you face to face and thank you for the impact you have left on me. May you look down from above as an angel to watch over your Mother as she raises your children and continues to teach them of your love. May you continue to touch my life and others in death as you did in life. RIP
All my love,
Friday, December 26, 2008
After January of this year I will no longer be accepting new blog posts. I will make the blog into a book for Kristy's parents once it's completed, so get your posts to me as soon as possible. In reflection, each post about our dear friend has sparked feelings inside all of us and I am so grateful for your input. Take some time to reflect and if you feel inspired, send me something to include in our book about Kristy.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
In other news, I am missing her a lot today.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
It was time to leave and we all piled in the car and headed to Bremerton where we caught our night ferry to Seattle. It was so pretty to see Seattle lit up when you came around the island. After the ride we drove around for a little bit singing at the top of our lungs all the primary songs we could remember. Like I Am a Child of God and Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree. That was a lot of fun. Then we went to Bellevue to see the temple. And it just so happens that there was a Young Adult dance going on at the church right next door so of course we couldn't wait to go to that to dance and flirt with all the cute boys. We had a lot of fun with that, too. After the dance we went and got something to eat and then went to a store and got a bunch of munchies and then when back to her house and watched movies and pigged out till we all fell asleep.
I really think that was one of my favorite childhood memories with her and her friends. Its really to bad we can't have fun days like that anymore but I know in my heart that when I have a fun day with something she would have loved to do then she will be there putting in her two cents and having fun too.
I love you Kristy and I'll see you again someday ... I don't know why but I really felt the push to share this memory. I don't know, maybe one of her friends who was there with us will read this and remember it and it will put a smile on their face, too.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
It's been almost ten months, but I still cry when I come to this site, listen to the music, and pray for your family. I know it's rather cliche by now, but as I pray I know that God is with you and loving you (as am I). Please accept the love and joy that I am sending to your family through Christ. Peace be with you through all, Lael
Still, in spite of everything I get so nervous right beforehand, sitting in the pew waiting for it to be my turn in the program. And then I get so annoyed with myself and pray that Heavenly Father will forgive my pride and help me to remember What It's All About, because guess what: singing isn't about how your voice sounds. Not really. Singing a spiritual song in a spiritual setting is about sharing the spirit. What a concept, huh?
Singing at Jason's funeral was one of the most spiritual experiences I've had in a very long time. Here's why.
Kristy was just a year my junior. She was a mother, and my contemporary and friend, and her loss was very difficult. She also had absolutely no fear of singing in public (well, she had no fear period), because she "got it." It took me forever to see that, that she got it, and that's why she was always singing at every opportunity. She loved people and she loved sharing, but I was so jealous of her courage I couldn't see it. And when she passed...she sort of let me know how ridiculous I was being, in her loving, well-intended, straight-forward way. And I vowed I'd be better. I vowed I'd get over myself and share whatever I had to share, such that it may be. And then I never got around to it.
And then Jason died. And it was really really time to get over myself. I wanted to sing at his funeral. I wanted to do something; I wanted to do it for Jason, just for him, so he'd know how much I love him. So I told everyone I wanted to sing, and they were all like, "You sing?" Heh. And I was like, "Yeah, I do. Don't tell anyone."
So I pulled out this song I was going to sing with Kristy when she was alive but I moved before we could pull it together. And I called her mom, Aunt Ann, and asked her to accompany me. And we got together and practiced. I practiced and practiced, and in the meantime, while I wasn't practicing, I was crying enough to give myself a sinus infection. So guess what happened next. Yes, I lost my voice. Not completely, just enough that you wouldn't recognize me on the phone and my voice was all husky and scratchy.
But none of that mattered. (Actually, it probably worked out for the best - I totally had that Phoebe sexy voice thing going.) When I got up to sing - after praying so hard, with Aunt Annie's lectures ringing in my ears about how the anxiety is a tool that you can use to bring yourself closer to Heavenly Father through prayer - Kristy came with me. I stood up in front of all those people and I felt her courage steal through me, that courage I'd always admired (envied) from my seat in the pews. I could almost feel her arms around me. She was right there. And I wasn't nervous, and I sang with a determination and composure that really, honestly was not my own.
That was an amazing experience. I was so thankful and exhilarated to be a participant. I knew right away I wanted to be part of that again.
I think Kristy let me fly solo today. She must have been busy. Or maybe it's that she's totally the kind of person to push the baby bird out of the nest. :-) That is so Kristy. Anyway, I did it. And it totally wasn't a perfect "performance," but I felt the spirit. And other people seemed to, also. And that is good enough for me.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Saturday, August 9, 2008
I mentioned how much Kristy would love all the fun....and my friend said that Kristy would have probably MADE us all go to the prom party though. She would have LOVED it. I can just see her....all dressed up in a fun costume, eyes beaming....sooooo excited to go have FUN. I know this is SUCH a trivial thing to even write about, but I miss reading all the fun posts and memories of Kristy. I was thinking about her a lot this past weekend....and I missed her even more. I wish, with all my heart, that she could have been there with us that night. I know she's busy....doing a lot more important things right now, but I hope she knows how much she was missed.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
I have attached this picture of us at the MTC - she was so proud of me. I was so grateful to her. She changed my life...
I have the funniest memories in my life. One is of Kristy and when I was to perform the hymlic on her. You already read it from Erica's blog. It was so hilarious that every single time I have told the story (up until last week) I laugh and cry with laughter ever time I try to tell the story. I mean I laugh so hard telling the story that I start snorting! She loved that about me. I am just so happy and excited that I have one great funny memory to tell for the rest of my life about this great woman! To share with all. I just wanted to say that I am thinking about you girl, as you know. All the time. Kristy knows every single time I am thinking about her, and every time YOU are thinking about her. Please, keep the posts coming. That is what has inspired me to write. I can't wait to hear more. Love ya girl! Your beautiful voice singing down the hall way to the bathroom, on the way to lunch, or just 'cause.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
I miss our talks and your beautiful voice. I miss laughing at your boldness- because I am so not bold and it never ceased to shock me! I miss how passionate you were about music and using it to touch people and invite the spirit. When we sang together, you took careful time to choose a song that would really bring the spirit. You told me that you knew it was the "right song" if you cried when you started singing it. I only wish I had that kind of tenderness towards the spirit and what music can do to invite it. You are a bundle of spunk and I miss it! I take comfort in knowing that yes, my time with you was short, but I will have all of eternity to sing and laugh with you again. I love you and miss you Kristy.
Beautiful job on the headstone Samantha!
Lots of love,
Kristy had a friend in her youth that she went to Seminary with. His name is Jeremy Van Gieson. He graduated from BYU and then went to Medical School. He is currently in his residency program in Michigan. Yesterday his wife and father-in-law were killed in a car accident close to Rupert, Idaho as they were traveling to Utah for a family reunion. Jeremy's three children and mother-in law were taken to the hospital, treated and released. You can find the story on KMVT.com.
I have taught piano lessons to some of the Van Gieson kids. Bishop Robert Van Gieson was our bishop for 4 years. We have been great friends with the family. I ask you to please pray for the Van Gieson and Walther families. From my experience I know that prayer helps a whole lot. Please join us in praying for these two wonder families and especially for the 3 kids.
Love you always,
Sunday, July 13, 2008
I keep saying that I am going to write-well; you can see how often I really do! So sorry. I do have some great news, finally. I get to go home to Washington and take the boys with me. We will be gone for one month. I will leave on July 11th and return to Utah on August 11th. To all you Washingtonians- stop by and give me a hug or stop by and watch the boys while I take a nap!
The boys are progressing and doing so much better. They are great little guys- lots of energy, gaining weight- sleeping well. They are doing much better than I expected. Of course I am 100% full time grandma. They really don't have to share me with work or other commitments. It is hot and dry here in Utah. Hope to find cooler weather in Washington.
Yesterday I had the neatest experience. In the morning I received a phone call saying that there would be a bus load of teenagers coming to the home in the afternoon to do service for me. When afternoon came around, here came an old school bus painted blue and white full of energetic clean cut youth. They swept out the garage and pulled weeds. The morning glory was so thick it looked like ground cover. It was 98 degrees but I did not hear one complaint or swear word for that matter. These kids were from a small town in Northeast Iowa. They had come to Salt Lake for a youth conference. Part of the week long activities to provide service. I believe there were 5,500 youth. Of course I got the very best, cream of the crop. These kids were awesome. I had 14 youth, 3 leaders and the bus driver. Thanks to you all, you are awesome. Keep up the good works.
Thanks to Jordan Meadows ward for doing the service project in May for Mother's Day. Thanks to all for goodies, flowers, service rendered and most of all love and concern. Man, Kristy really knew how to pick great friends!
Thanks to you young mothers who donated to the "get Ann into the 21st century with a digital camera" project. So thoughtful and insightful. Thanks. Now get over here and teach me how to use it. Ha ha.
Thanks to all of you for helping with the kid swap every Wed. and every other weekend. You are great. Thanks to all who provided babysitting for Brandon and Carter as I attend therapy and legal stuff. The kids love you and so do I.
I am in a very interesting situation. When I have a real need someone shows up to provide the talent or service needed. I know for a surety that God is orchestrating all this for me. I know that it is a direct result of so many people fasting and praying on our behalf. On the very worst painful days a card or letter or quilt or CD or money donation arrives in the mail to remind me of greatness of the human soul and that there are so many really righteous good people out there that are listening to the spirit. It just has to be because the timing is so perfect.
Samantha did a beautiful job designing the headstone. It is in place so if you are in Lehi stop by and see it. It doesn't have a picture on it yet but we are working on it.
Love to all and thanks a whole bunch.
The "little boys"
Brandon & Carter
The day of my brother’s wedding, a fiasco happened! On the way to the reception, the wedding cake was destroyed by a pot hole in the road. It was reduced to large chunks, completely irreparable. I knew my brother would get over it quickly, but I was really sorry for Holly, because we all know brides want things perfect on their big day. What to do? Never fear, Kristy was there. She just happened to have a bag or two of cheap plastic army toys in her car (why she was carrying those around is anyone’s guess, but let’s chalk it up to inspiration). And, since my brother was commissioned in the Army, and he and Holly were leaving for his first assignment after their wedding, Kristy saved the cake situation by putting the little army guys all over the broken cake. The cake was brought out on several plates. It looked like a cake battle. It was hilarious, and totally salvaged the situation. Everyone at the reception thought it was so awesome and clever. It wasn’t the prettiest cake, by a long shot, but it was by far the most personal and creative. So thoughtful of Kristy—turning lemons to lemonade.
What a powerful spirit she is, that even after her passing, she continues to wield such an influence over those of us who are left to ponder on her shining example, and resolve to be more like her. I look forward to getting to know her better down the road. . . .
Amy Burbank Day
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Ann Palizzi has requested that anyone that has recordings of Kristy singing, to please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I will then let you know where you can send these recordings! A friend of the family is going to digitally remaster the recordings and make them available.
Thanks in advance!
Sunday, June 1, 2008
I hope everything is okay with you; Kristy's friends, family and neighbors across the country.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
Saturday, May 10th, some friends and neighbors gathered together to give service and support to Kristy's mother and boys. Members of Kristy's previous ward, Jordan Meadows, organized a massive service project and the turnout was fantastic! There was landscaping done, mulch was delivered and distributed, the inside of the house was cleaned from top to bottom, and much more. A big THANK YOU to all of those who were willing to give their time. Kristy's family appreciates the weekend of help and feeling the love of everyone that loves Kristy so much!
I don't know you Kristy, but I hope you had a great day and your kids know that from Heaven you are looking after them. I know how hard it is to lose a parent in such a tragic way but as I get older I have come to realize that the lessons I have learned have been because my father died. God bless you, Ann and take care of the boys. They will need you, tell them stories everyday of Kristy. You are all in my thoughts.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
10 years ago, this Mother's Day weekend, Kristy and I went to the Tacoma singles ward for the first time. On Mother's Day I met my now husband. At the time, Kristy and I were just having a ton of fun and didn't realize what would come of everything. If it wasn't for Kristy, my husband and I would never have gotten together so quickly (it may have happened without her, but it would have taken WAY longer). She's the one that told him to fight for me if he wanted me (sounds dramatic, but essentially, that what she said).
I am forever in Kristy's debt. I will always remember her around this time of the year and feel thankfulness in my heart to her. She truly is one of the best friends I've ever had. I really miss her.
I probably have a million memories of things we've done together. Just thinking about it makes me sad ... but happy too. Sad she's not here to share those fun memories, happy they happened.
I know she knows how I feel. I just really wish I could "tell" her right now, but I guess this is the way to do that. I think about Kristy a lot, but in comparison to all the other stuff I have to think about, it's probably not all that much. I do, however, still consider her to be one of my best friends, she's just not here.
So, thanks Kristy for these last 10 years ... 10 years ago we never could have even guessed or fathomed our lives would turn out this way. It's strange really ... I can remember 10 years ago like it was last week. We really did have so much fun together (and wasted way too much money together too ... what were we thinking?)
You're the best!
Monday, April 7, 2008
i miss u so much whenever i am temped to do something wrong, i think of you saying, "now would that be the wisest decision?" i know u would want the best for everyone and u have been a great example to everyone. i remember that one day you came to my house and was just coming to talk. you came over and helped me with my struggles and were very understanding. at times i thought you knew more about me than i did. you are my hero and always will be. i will always remember you and have you in my heart always!
i love you kristy!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
She was so easy and fun to talk to. We both opened up and talked as if we had known each other forever, yet this was the first time we had hung out just the two of us. She went home for lunch while the truffles chilled in the freezer, then came back and stayed till late that night to help me wrap the caramels. Kristy was a good talker and a good listener. She had a lot of good advice and insights on all the different things we talked about. The next day, I took her samples of all the candy we had made. She tasted it and gave me the nod and smile that yes, it had turned out just right! This may not have been a huge deal to her, but it meant the world to me that she would take the time to teach me this fun skill. I have been making this homemade candy ever since for family, friends, and neighbors. Not too long after, Kristy and Dave moved to Lehi. The next time I saw her she was working at the Provo Towne Mall at the Lancome counter, which carries my favorite perfume. When she found this out, she went back and poured me a sample of it in those little tubes that they give you as testers. I remember thinking how kind and thoughtful that was of her.
The last time I saw Kristy, was at the Deseret Book in the University Mall. She and Dave were on the waiting list at PF Changs and were walking around the mall due to the long wait....but what I remember most was how excited she was to tell me she was pregnant with a little boy! She was just beaming about her happy news. I didn't get to know Kristy as a mom, so it has been fun to read all of the posts on this blog that talk of her little boys. Kristy had a very unique personality that you just don't get to run into everyday, which is what makes her so special, memorable, and loved.
Take care, Heather Peck
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
She already had two older brothers, Tony and Andy, and had two more follow, Barry and Kyle. Kristy was the only daughter. When Ann was pregnant with Kyle Kristy desperately wanted a little sister. They discovered Kyle was a boy through an ultrasound and Kristy was devastated. She locked herself in her room and pouted for three days. Then she all of a sudden emerged from her room happily singing, and laughing. When asked why the change of heart Kristy said she realized that with being the only girl she was the princess! And she lived accordingly!
Kristy was not the quiet and timid daughter Al and Ann expected. She was Feisty, spirited, and full of life. As much as she was, her brothers were calm and quiet. Her parents realized while she was fairly young that these traits were important for the mission she was to fulfill in her life. And she livened up their lives tremendously. Her brother Tony said “She was the life of the family”!
Her Mother said that there were times in Kristy’s life when she was like a gale force hurricane wind ripping through your life and other times when she was a gentle delicate breeze on your cheek.
The Palizzi home was always filled with kids and music. Music was an important part of Kristy’s life. She loved to sing and we loved to hear her because she had a beautiful voice. It didn’t hurt that she was blessed with the perfect accompianist always at her disposal! She was able to bear her testimony through music on many occasions.
Before and after her mission, Kristy traveled extensively for work. She was able to visit almost every State if not all. She made many close friends, and loved the adventure.
Kristy wanted to serve a mission but worried she wasn’t reverent enough. She counseled with her stake president, a good family friend. He reassured her that she wouldn’t have to be reverent 24/7 and that if she could be reverent for a few hours a day she would be fine. She decided to go, and was called to serve in the Tallahassee Florida mission. Four months into her mission Ann received a call from the Mission President on business, but mentioned to Ann that Kristy had a companion that was just like her and they “set Pensacola on fire”! Kristy worked hard and had fun while she worked. She wasn’t afraid to call people to repentance, but she also showed great love and acceptance towards all people. Her father says Kristy was always a missionary inviting investigators over for dinner after church.
Kristy made everyone around her feel like they were her best friend, because that’s the way she was. Those who knew her well know that her true best friend was her mother, Ann. They have a special bond that carries them through whatever life brings.
Shortly after her mission Kristy met Dave. They were married in the Seattle Temple on August 17, 2001. She was a beautiful bride.
They made their home in Utah County. One of her favorite jobs was working at a girl’s home. She loved the youth and helping them through life’s trials. The only reason she left was because of the birth of their first son, Brandon. Kristy always wanted to be a mother and was very excited. A few years later they had their second son Carter. Kristy’s life was devoted to her family and she loved being around her boys.
Kristy loved beauty. She loved make-up and beautiful clothes. She worked hard to create a beautiful environment in her home. We miss the beauty she created and know that she is creating beauty where she is now.
Kristy felt very blessed in her life with strong family ties and wonderful supportive friends. She knew she could endure anything life brought her because of this.
We know she would want you to know how much she appreciated and loved each of you.
The Lord gave me a gift on a week ago Friday night. Kristy was driving by my house and felt the need to stop. While there she laid her head on my shoulder, she told me she loved me and appreciated my friendship. This is a gift I will always cherish.
Kristy returned to her heavenly home on Sunday January 6th 2008 on her 30th birthday.
Kristy is survived by her Husband Dave her Two boys Brandon and Carter, Parents Albert and Ann Palizzi, Brothers and Sisters-in-law Tony and Stacy, Andy and Mariette, Barry and Christia,
Kyle, Many Uncle and Aunts, Nieces, nephews, cousins and countless friends.
Kristy lived her life to the fullest and we should all be grateful for the time we had with her.
Kristy’s life was dedicated to compassion and service. Her Mother’s greatest wish is that in her memory we follow her lead. Find someone to serve, seek out a lonely heart, make someone smile or laugh, throw a party or give a compliment.
Kristy we love you. We’ll miss you smile and laughter, your hugs and kisses, and most of all your love. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you
I was just thinking about you today. I do that quite often still. I hope that you are doing well. Each time I read a new post I am so amazed at what a beautiful & caring person you were. I was always so amazed at the thoughtful things you used to do for me & for the love that you showed me. Little did I know that you showed this same love & kindness to everyone you met. You have touched so many people's lives for the better Kristy. I know your legacy will live on through your boys. I think & pray for them often as well. I only wish I could do more for them. We love you, we haven't forgotten you, I hope that I can continue to strive to be a little more like you each day. Just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
I remember when we began doing boxed lunches she was one of the first people to buy one. She called me after she had gone home and eaten her sandwich, she let me know what was good and not so good… she just wanted me to be successful. I loved her enthusiasm and truthfulness. I wish there had been more time to get to know Kristy better. But I am so grateful that I was blessed to know her at all. I appreciate her kindness towards me and my new business. I am grateful that she wanted to help me be successful in my venture.
To Kristy’s family, I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine the hurt and pain associated with losing a child. My brother passed away a few years ago and I will never forget the image of my father crying as he protested that a parent should never have to bury their child. I pray for you to have peace.
To Kristy’s mom, as I think of ways I can help I go to Kristy’s boys. I am not sure when their birthdays are, but I would love to be able to give them a birthday cake. Please call me when the time comes so that I can give this small offering. And I would love for you to come by anytime for one of our cupcakes Kristy loved so much.
One of my favorite things about Kristy was while she was a bit nosey, she for the most part didn't pass judgement. At least not on me. Her favorite thing to do was to get me to cuss, and we all know that is not hard to do. She would giggle if I cursed or used profanity, which made me laugh. We were cubicle to cubicle for awhile so we shared many things. She enjoyed making fun of my new husband, of course I joined her. We used to bring our Christmas music to work and listen to it in October, annoying the crap out everyone. People would walk by and say "what! already!". We were delighted at there reaction.
Once Kristy thought she was choking on a piece of gum. (It was the real sugary kind, and you know sometimes how it can go down the wrong way and make you feel like you can't breathe, but you really can, you just have to wait until the sugar clears). Well she turned to me with a look of sheer panic on her face. In turn, panicking me. I grabbed her by the shoulders and yelled in her face, "why are you choking!!!???". I pushed her to the next person because I had no clue what to do. Well after the sugar cleared out of her throat and all the panic was over, (when she pryed herself away from the guy trying to give her the heimlic maneuver), she looked at me and laughed. "You are serious. You seriously just asked me why I was choking?" I was so embarrassed but more relieved that she was ok. Oh but don't worry in the middle of conversations she would stop and say to me right in my face, "why are you choking." It always made us giggle.
Kristy sat by my side thru my first pregnancy. I think it was her who went and bought me a dolly that resembled the size that my son was in utero at the time. I loved her. I remember when she decided to go on a mission. I was hoping that..... I don't know what I was hoping for but she called my house to tell me that she was assigned to Tallahassee. I BURST into tears. Because I knew then that we were going to go our separate ways. I was newly married and having a baby and she was doing something very important to her, growing up and serving God. Somewhere deep inside me I thought we would most definetly get back together again, with our babies and everything. Today I found out that is not the case. Kristy, I hope to get to meet Brandon and Carter again one day. And I am so sorry. It seems like they are in good hands with Grandma and Grandpa. You are a beautiful mother. Till we meet again?
Sunday, March 16, 2008
We, of course, would sing together in church and I always seemed to be at the Palizzi's house practicing for something.
Kristy was the person to tell me my Dad had died. She came to get me at work. I think she was crying more than me. I will never forget how much she cared.
She took me with her to Idaho and introduced me to some of best people I've ever known. It was life changing for me. She helped set me up with my husband and when we first started dating, she took some flowers that he had given me and shook them up side down to look for a ring. She somehow knew we would get married. She and Ann helped so much with my wedding and they gave me a baby shower for my first baby.
Ann. You were (are) a Mom to me. I pray for you every day. I love you and thank you for all the goodness you gave to me. My heart aches every time I think about Kristy or see a picture of her. I will miss her till I see her again! Kristy you are my sister. Thank you for teaching me to love and live life and most importantly to laugh! I can't wait to see you again!
Thursday, March 6, 2008
It begins with this scripture Job 33:14-16 "For God speaketh once, yea twice, yet man perceiveth it not. In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falleth upon men, in slumberings upon the bed; then He openeth the ears of men, and sealeth their instruction."
Text..."When the outward organs of thought and perception are released from their activity, the nerves unstrung, and the whole of mortal humanity lies hushed in quiet slumbers in order to renew its strength and vigor, it is then that the spiritual organs are at liberty, in a certain degree, to assume their wonted functions, to recall some faint outlines, some confused and half -defined recollections, of that heavenly world and those endearing scenes of their former estate from which they have descended in order to obtain and mature a tabernacle of flesh. Their kindred spirits, their guardian angels, then hover about them with the fondest affection, the most anxious solicitude. Spirit communes with spirit, thought meets thought, soul blends with soul, in all the raptures of mutual, pure, and eternal love."
.."In this situation, the spiritual organs are susceptible of converse with Deity or of communion with angels and the spirits of just men made perfect."
"In this situation, we frequently hold communication with our departed father, mother, brother, sister, son, or daughter; or with the former husband or wife of our bosom, whose affection for us, being rooted and grounded in the eternal elements of issuing from under the sanctuary of love's eternal fountain, can never be lessened or diminished by death, distance of space, or length of years."
"With what tenderness of love, with what solicitude of affection will they watch over our slumbers, hang about our pillow, and seek to communicate with our spirits, to warn us of dangers or temptation, to comfort and soothe our sorrow, or to ward off the ills that might befall us, or perchance to give us some kind token of remembrance or undying love!"
I find this very comforting. Perhaps Kristy was trying to let you know she is alright. Interestingly too, I think that one of Kristy's ancestors is Parley P. Pratt. And to think he wrote such beautiful words about dreams.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
It was President’s Day and Ann felt like she hadn’t had adequate time to just sit and to just cry and to just “be” - between running here and there for everyone and everything that was going on since January 6th. She had some time to herself on this day, and decided to go through Kristy’s music. She does this a lot when she needs that extra closeness with the Spirit and her daughter. Sleeping at night was nigh unto impossible at times and that is another reason why this song is such a gift. I think I speak for everyone in saying “Thank you, Ann, for sharing this with us. It helps - and we love you, and miss her, too.”
This song was written by Kristy shortly after her mission.
I’ll Hold You Again
I need somebody to hear me and feel
My pain so deep and so real.
I cannot carry this weight on my own.
How can you really be gone.
Why can’t I wait for this night to pass?
Please, close my eyes, help me sleep.
Lord, hold me near,
Please, wipe away my tears.
Why am I hurting so deep?
I want to hold and feel you again.
Instead I smile through my pain.
I lay in bed and I see your face.
I’m praying for the Lord’s grace
Lord, hear my cry, I can’t go on.
Please, let me feel your hand.
Please, give me strength through
Your arms so strong.
Give me the courage to stand.
Then He speaks to my heart and
I hear His voice so soft and clear
“Mocked and stripped, on the cross
I bled your tears I’ve already shed.
Alone in the garden I drank the cup
I knelt in prayer for your pain.
On the cross I was lifted up.
So you could return, I was slain.”
His love encircles my heart and soul.
His spirit makes my life whole.
His life is my source of comfort and peace.
His arms bring sweet release from pain
And I know I’ll hold you again.
I’ll wait, then hold you again.
By Kristy Palizzi Ragsdale
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Okay, I woke up crying which I thought was weird, because I haven't necessarily been thinking a TON about this lately. I mean, I think about Kristy all the time, but I felt like I was over the crying part. Guess not. My point in writing this here is that I really think it takes a lot of time to completely grieve for a person. and I truly believe that the Kristy from my dream that told me she can hear me when I think nice things about her is real. I think that Kristy can know the good feelings we have for her. So I have decided that I can still think about her all the time, and she can feel those feelings, and I may not be able to "see" her, but she's here. Just not here, if you know what I mean.
Anyway, I was really writing this mostly for myself. Thanks.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
The next day I called you, to see how you were doing. After all, you did have a big slice in your neck that didn't look too fun. After a few minutes, I realized that you did not recall anything about the previous night at Enrichment! Our whole conversation just went right in one of our ears and out the other. Then you laughed and boldly explained to me that you were "hyped up on drugs" (painkillers from surgery), and couldn't remember much! We both had a good laugh (a good mormon girl laugh) and I told you I was glad to finally know what Kristy Ragsdale was like on drugs!
I miss you little girl.
Monday, February 18, 2008
I’m still missing you (of course), but tonight I’m feeling it more than usual for some reason. Sometimes I think I’ve gotten my brain around the fact that you’ve moved on to bigger and better things, but sometimes it hits me so fresh: I can’t believe you’re gone. And then it hurts so much and I have to cry all over again, which feels so selfish, but I don’t know how to not be sad that you’re not on vacation, you’re not visiting some remote location, it’s not that your phone is out of order. You’re really gone.
And I want to say: that sucks.
I wonder about your perspective up there in heaven and what you’re thinking about and how you’re involved in our lives still, especially on behalf of your boys. I’m sure you know how it all works out in the end. We’re still struggling to have faith and ride out all the difficulties and challenges of living in this world of free agents. I wish I could borrow some of your perspective. Help me out, okay?
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Saturday, February 16, 2008
I'm sorry I haven't written sooner. It still hurts - and I miss you.
I guess you know by now how loved and admired you were and still are. I think what I will miss the most is your beautiful sparkle and brave determination to do everything in your power to give your boys the best they deserved. You must have had the weight of the world on your shoulders, but you were so concerned about others more. You always strove for the best but were kind and thoughtful to everyone you met. Sometimes I saw the pain you silently bore - and my heart ached. I still wish I could have helped you more. But in those last days, I take great comfort in knowing that you felt peace, that you knew you were being watched over and protected. I hope you know how many friends were thinking of you and praying for you.
I am so glad you have your mother - what a strength and support she has been to so many. She is my new hero. That she could be with you those last days, and that you are with her now as she cares for your dear, sweet boys - I know now that there is always hope that can come out of a tragedy. The Lord does pour out his tender mercies on those who need it most. I know your parents will do everything they can (and then some) to give Brandon & Carter the love and protection that you desire for them. They did such a good job with you. In Ann's eyes, I can see where you got a lot of your inner strength and beauty. You were taught righteous principles and lived them despite so much adversity. I admire you more than you know for that. You never gave up - you always pressed forward - trying to help as many others as you could your short time here.
I hope your sweet boys always know how important they were to you - and how brave and true and strong you were in your testimony of the Gospel. I hope they know that you did everything in your power to the live the kind of life so that you could be together forever. Maybe for this short space on earth, you are temporarily separated - but you will see them again. You will be able to kiss, hold, love, and sing to your beautiful boys again. I hope I can be there for that wonderful reunion. Can I be invited on that day? How about if I promise to go to choir practice more? (Is it too late to apologize for slacking and not going as much as I should?) BTW - Thanks for letting me come over and be taught the alto part at your piano when I couldn't come to practice. You were always so good like that. You had such gifts and were so willing to share them...
I strangely also miss your no-nonsense blunt honesty - those comments that are supposed to be compliments but kind of feel like an insult instead. I know you worried about offending people - but I secretly enjoyed it. 'Cause everyone knew where they stood with you. You were sincere and full of integrity and always meant the best. We all knew it. Most importantly, you never shied from bearing your testimony or lifting another. From day one until the very end. That's one thing I will definitely take from you - is to not hold back. To not hesitate to act or say the beautiful or truthful thing that needs to be said. To be led the Spirit and live life to the fullest.
I'm glad we were friends. 'Til we meet again, dear Kristy...
Friday, February 15, 2008
I was not close to Kristy, but my family (the Allan's) have always been close to her family and I have memories of her throughout my entire life. She was so beautiful and outgoing and never afraid of anything. I have read many times over that I am not the only one who remembers her this way. I just wanted to let you all know how deeply sorry I am for the loss of Kristy. She has touched so many lives.
If you have any "skymiles", or flight vouchers, or flight credits, they are greatly needed for Kristy's family. Email me at email@example.com if this is something that you could donate.
Also, a reminder: if you are looking for a way to help the Palizzi's, we have set up a fund for them via Bank of America. The information is on the left-hand sidebar. Let's help them out if at all possible.
Thanks again and have a good weekend.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
How long before I allow myself to feel?
It's easier to stay busy, with all the tasks at hand,
than to acknowledge the truth where your soul now stands.
I know i'll be with you again, and that this isn't the end.
I feel guilty for missing you so much, after all I was just your friend.
Your family, your children, they need you so much more than I
But still I can't help the tears my soul still wants to cry.
I know that to honor you, I must serve with all my heart
I'll try to remember that and try to do my part.
All you did for others, you couldn't know meant so much more,
a special soul sent to us where your love could pour.
So many have treasures, of days you came and went
a memory greater than gold, where a moment of your life was spent.
I wish I would have stopped by more, picked up the phone to chat.
But no regrets, we got our chances where in my backyard we sat.
I'll always try to honor your life by doing what you did best,
Loving unconditionally and showing it without regrets.
I'm thinking of you today, on this day we celebrate Love. I love you and miss you.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
They spent a lot of their own money and time, and additionally were able to receive donations and gift cards from businesses. We would like to thank the following businesses that donated in Brandon and Carter's behalf.
Chuck E Cheese's @ Orem
Dinosaur Museum @ Thanksgiving Point
McDonalds @ Lehi
Gandolfo's @ Draper
Walmart @ American Fork
Hollywood Video @ American Fork
Toy's R Us
Nancy Olsen @ Dyson Hair Studio in American Fork
Music by Karyn Grant
Thank you everyone that knew Kristy and those of you who did not know Kristy and gave so much time and money.
A lot of you have mentioned to me that you have not had the time to sit down and write about Kristy. I urge you to set aside a few minutes, no matter how few they may be, and email me your thoughts so we can keep reading new experiences about Kristy. It has helped all of us so much.
Thanks and Love,