Thursday, February 28, 2008

My Best Friend

So I woke up this morning from a dream and I was crying. I haven't done that in a LONG time. In my dream I was talking to Ann and Kristy, and Kristy was herself, but different. She was a new Kristy, one that I knew had been gone. I was asking her questions about her new life, and she was answering them, with Ann's help. Then we went to a party with a ton of people (which may be just one of those weird dream things that really has nothing to do with the actual dream) At some point I was walking Kristy to a car and she was telling me that she had to go and I couldn't come. I was really sad. I said, "but you're my best friend." and she said, "I know .... but I still hear you when you think nice things about me." and then I woke up.

Okay, I woke up crying which I thought was weird, because I haven't necessarily been thinking a TON about this lately. I mean, I think about Kristy all the time, but I felt like I was over the crying part. Guess not. My point in writing this here is that I really think it takes a lot of time to completely grieve for a person. and I truly believe that the Kristy from my dream that told me she can hear me when I think nice things about her is real. I think that Kristy can know the good feelings we have for her. So I have decided that I can still think about her all the time, and she can feel those feelings, and I may not be able to "see" her, but she's here. Just not here, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, I was really writing this mostly for myself. Thanks.

Honor

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing your insight. I know a handful of people, including myself, who have also felt Kristy's presence. The common denominator has been when we're thinking about her, you know the good times, and happy thoughts.

carrie said...

I loved reading this! I have felt Kristy near me, too....and I wasn't her BEST friend, like you....so I thought maybe I was going crazy. I hear her say things to me, in my head, sometimes. It really comforts me though....and I loved what you wrote about her "hearing the nice things". I believe that too, with all my heart. I think, no...I KNOW that she would just love how we'll get together and talk about her. I know she's love us all laughing when we remember something so funny that she did or said. It's so great to me...that so many things about her are so vivid in my memory. It's funny how that works. You are so lucky to have been her best friend. I feel so blessed to have been her friend....and I, too, miss her so very much. Thank you for writing this. HUGS

Anonymous said...

Those are beautiful sentiments and I feel it is truer than true that our lovies on the other side of the thin veil are very much aware of our tender thoughts towards them. In some ways, I feel closer to my loved ones who have passed on then I did when they were physically here. I think that is a blessing all are entitled to feel, but many don't let themselves feel that unique gift, or more often, it waxes and wanes.

Kristy knows very well how much we are missing her, and she is more then hopeful in our hearts being comforted, especially in those moments when our grief returns and feels so fresh. But we can ALWAYS close our eyes, see her smiling at us, speaking something to us that will make a smile break on our face and feel her encouraging us along.

~Nikki

Anonymous said...

Honor,

Thanks for sharing that dream. I feel the same way.