Friday, January 16, 2009

Missing Kristy

I feel like I have just recently began the mourning process for Kristy. It has taken a year for me to really realize that she is gone instead of just hiding out somewhere. It has also been hard for me to mourn Kristy since I am married into David's family; there has hardly been a shoulder for me to cry on. It has been hard to process her loss while I feel like an outcast to her family. I hope that by posting my memories here I can feel like I belong to a group of people who miss her too.

I considered her to be my best friend the past several years. I think that a lot of people can say that about her, too. That shows what kind of person she was. I have been thinking about some of my favorite memories of Kristy: our several trips to Dipidee (while dieting) and then hiding the evidence, Friday afternoons meeting at the farmers market, Sunday dinners and hanging out on Sundays, her awesome makeup applications, racing through the Gardens on the segway demos and nearly getting kicked out, meeting up with her and Brandon at Disneyland at 10:00 at night and then being the last to leave the park, playing Cranium and Phase 10 into the wee hours of morning, she was always comparing our butts, watching girly movies together, the time she accidentally tried to put Carter's binky in my mouth (she just gave birth to him and was really tired), she was the worst secret keeper but she always had a way of getting things out of me, I would swear her to secrecy but she would always blab, I should have figured she would always tell because every other phone call started out by her saying "umm...I shouldn't be saying this to you but..." and then she would tell me someone else's secret! I could go on and on with favorite memories.

She gave so much to me. I always felt she gave to me much more than I gave to her. She helped me through my pregnancy losses. In fact, when I had just miscarried I would refuse to answer my phone to everyone but her. She was so comforting during those times. She was the first to know about my last pregnancy (she bought me the hpt). She hugged me while I cried and listened to me about my fear about losing again. I know she would be so happy that I carried this pregnancy. I sometimes imagine her talking baby talk to my baby and cuddling her.

A few days before she died she called me and said "no matter what just remember that I love you". I love you too, Kristy! I miss you tons. 'Till we meet again.


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