Letter for Kristy..

I have been really struggling this past week. I have really missed my friend...and while I wanted to write something on this wonderful blog for her, I am not the best writer...so I hope it will somehow do her justice....and convey a little of what I've been feeling.

I first met Kristy when she lived in the Jordan Meadows Ward in Lehi. She was someone I first noticed because she was always so confident and loved sharing her thoughts and opinions in Relief Society. I wanted to be her friend because I loved that about her, and I have to admit, I was a little envious at her ability to bear her testimony the way she did. She was amazing. I remember her singing, of course. It's a talent I do not have, so I thought she was simply incredible.

I got to know her a lot better when she was getting ready to leave our neighborhood. She tried to get my family to buy her house, too. I remember being amazed at how clean and "new" everything looked. I tried to reason with my husband on that note. (ha ha) She loved showing me all the new light fixtures they had put in, and her beautiful yard. I remember talking to her that day about a jello salad she was trying to make....(the one that looks like a flag) and we were laughing about the way the fruit was "leaking" all over the Cool Whip. She was so nice to me, and I remember her hugging me when I left....and telling me we needed to be good friends, even if I "didn't like her house enough to buy it". How could I not have loved her house?? She was just so funny.....

When Kristy was pregnant with Carter, I ran into her at the salon we both went to. I remember sitting in the chair, getting my hair done, and I could hear someone singing (at the top of her lungs) back in the aesthetician (spelling??) room. It was hilarious..... When she walked out of the room, I just couldn't stop laughing that it was HER. She was so cute, and full of life that day. She had wanted to get a bikini wax before her baby was born. That was so funny to me.... She was so open and treated me like I was her best friend that day. I remember laughing so loudly with her.... A few months later, she was at a baby shower I went to, and she recounted her story. Well....I still thought it was funny, and I can still remember her face just lit up and laughing. She paid me a very special compliment that day. For any one that knows me....I am not a big make up person....and I'm more into dressing my kids than myself. (ha ha) I do, however, like to go get my hair done at least once a week 'cause it's way too curly to deal with. Kristy told me she liked my hair.... It meant so much to me. It probably sounds so stupid and trivial, but it bonded us. She began going to my hair dresser, and I was able to see her even more. She and I would get the same hair color....and I loved it, because I thought she had such great taste, so it was such a big compliment to me.

I didn't talk to Kristy, like I should have, those last few months. I kept having feelings to call her.... I would think of going by her house when I'd go to Costco. She had told me I was always welcome to stop by, unannounced...."because she was always ready for company". I remember thinking I wasn't dressed right, or I just looked a mess. I kept thinking I needed lots of time to talk with her, 'cause we both LOVED to talk. I let myself get "too busy"...and I'll never forgive myself for that. I thought of her countless times, and we'd play phone tag.....but I wish I could have told her how much I cared about her. She left me a message once on my answering machine....inviting me to a party she was doing. She told me she knew I didn't get offended by her jokes...and she wanted someone there who would laugh at her, and she knew how funny I always thought she was. I'm so glad she knew that I liked her so much.... I went to the hair salon the Friday before she died. Out of nowhere, her name was brought up....and the lady who does my hair told me I should call her. I did call her that day when I left the salon. We played phone tag again, but she ended up making an appointment for that weekend before her birthday. However, she ended up cancelling that appointment and rescheduling. After what happened on her birthday, I couldn't stop thinking about her. I was talking to a friend....and we were remembering some funny things Kristy had said to us. I thought of her compliment to my hair, and I couldn't stop crying. I texted my hair dresser and made an appointment for that Tuesday. I figured it would make me feel a little better, and I needed something..... Well, when I walked in to the salon that day, my hair dresser met me with a big hug. She had told me that she was going to keep that appointment open that day, unless I called. She had given me Kristy's hair appointment. I just cried.... People reading this are probably thinking I'm the biggest nut, but we just sat and talked about Kristy and remembered her spunky personality. It meant the world to me.

I couldn't stop thinking about Kristy and what had happened to her all week. I couldn't sleep, and I feel like I was just a mess everyday. When I went to her funeral on Saturday, I can't even describe how peaceful I felt afterwards. Her family was absolutely amazing. What a wonderful Mother she has....and I could totally see just why Kristy loved her so very much. She was so generous with her hugs, and outpouring of love. I couldn't believe it..... There was so doubt to me, at that time, that Kristy wouldn't want all of moping around and worrying about HER. I was so impressed with the whole message of her funeral...and the reassuring words about the days before Kristy died. She wasn't alone.... The message of forgiveness that came out of that meeting was the most incredible thing I've ever seen or felt. I remember looking at Kristy's Mom and just loving her. What a truly selfless person. I wish everyone had a mother like her. "Wow" was all I could think....

I will always remember Kristy, and her outgoing personality...and the way she touched my life. I loved the way she would always make me laugh.... I am so grateful for our faith, and the beliefs we have about life after this. It was so comforting. Her Mom was such an example to me. In the time I was there, she touched me in a way I could never explain. I miss Kristy, and I have learned my lesson about listening to my "inner voice". I want to be a better friend....and make those calls to someone who may need someone. It hit me hard during her funeral when someone said to be careful of saying "someday". I wish I could go back and have another "someday".... to talk to her one more time....bring her a Dippidee cupcake, and give her a giant hug. She was my friend....and I'm proud that I knew her. I am so amazed at this wonderful blog set up for her...and how much everyone loved her. She was blessed to have so many friends, and we were all blessed to have her.

Carrie