Thursday, January 17, 2008

Kristy Ragsdale's Eulogy for Washington State Memorial Service

Kristy Koreen Palizzi Ragsdale was born in Tacoma, Washington on the 6th of January, 1978. She died in Lehi, Utah on her 30th birthday, January 6, 2008. Those who knew her best will agree that she lived more in her thirty short years than most people do in 60, or in 90, or even in 120 years on this earth.

Kristy was a busy little person from her very earthly beginnings. She kept her mother on constant alert with her running, climbing, jumping, giggling, chattering, and, sometimes, her sassiness. As Christy grew older, her mother Ann was more than once overheard to say to less-experienced mothers of challenging children, “Believe me. If I could survive Kristy, you can survive too.”
For example, Ann related to her friend, Judy, stories about Kristy’s childhood to encourage Judy that she could survive her own busy little son, Sam. Here are her memories of two of Ann’s accounts.
Judy writes:
[On one occasion] Kristy decided to climb scaffolding in the gym at the stake center during stake conference and twirl on the bars twenty feet in the air . . .Kristy refused to come down and [her father] Al had to climb up to get her. I think, Judy adds, she was around 4 years old.”
Another story Judy remembers Ann telling her was that “When in the first grade, Kristy was helping a little girl [with learning disabilities] . . . and the teacher told Kristy to do her own work. Kristy [turned to the teacher and replied] that she was helping the little girl and if the teacher was doing the job the state was paying her to do she wouldn’t have to help her.

When little Kristy stopped moving long enough for a person to take a look at her, what they saw was a very cute little girl with sparkling brown eyes and a charming smile. She had a cute way of talking, too. Once, at about age three, when standing up to a pack of little boys due to some offense or another, she and her friend Naomi, who also had her own cute way of pronouncing words, were heard scolding the boys to make it clear that they themselves were not boys, they were girls. And so, Kristy and Naomi emphatically declared their gender, one stating,” Well, we’re gills,” and the other, “Yeah, we’re ghouls.”

It will not surprise anyone who knew Kristy that once, when a new mother from Kristy’s church congregation was suffering after the death of her first baby, Kristy, without saying a word to anyone about it, called up the grieving sister and asked if there was anything she could do to help. That Kristy made such a phone call is not surprising to those who knew her. What may surprise you is to know that at the time of this compassionate—and unprompted--phone call, Kristy was a mere five years of age.
Kristy had a heart turned to service from her very beginnings.

Our Savior admonishes us to be like little children, and Kristy retained childlike qualities throughout her life. Like a little child, she would approach strangers and friends alike with piercing curiosity and frankly honest comments. Sometimes those who did not know her well did not perceive the love which was at the core of Kristy and were taken aback. When someone once complained to me about such a verbal offense, I replied, “You have to remember that Kristy has no filters on what she says, but she has a heart of gold, and I love her.”

And so did many, many others love Kristy. For she not only had no verbal filters, she also had no filters on her ability to have fun, to party, to make friends, to laugh (punctuated by her famous snort), to speak out, to sing, to beautify, to listen --or to truly and genuinely love even as Jesus loved.
In fact, Kristy personified four qualities of true Disciples of Christ as enumerated in Mosiah chapter 18 in the Book of Mormon. Listen as I read them, and note how well they fit the Kristy that you knew:
[Disciples of Christ] are:
“willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light”
“willing to mourn with those that mourn”
“yea, and comfort those who stand in need of comfort”
“and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that [they] may be in, even until death,”

Here are some examples of Kristy’s outreach in each of these areas, gleaned from her online memorial:
One: Kristy was willing to bear the burdens of others, that they could be light.

From Tracy:
“[Kristy] cared about everyone she came in contact with. I remember when we found out my daughter had a genetic disorder and needed intense therapy. I hardly knew [Kristy], and yet she came to me and asked about my daughter and then asked if she could watch my other three children for me so that I could take my daughter to therapy uninterrupted. How thoughtful!
I think she offered to throw a baby shower for everyone who got pregnant in our ward—that’s just the kind of person she was!”

From Ana Garcia:
“I worked for Kristy . . . for almost 2 years, I used to clean her house, she was one of the first people that gave a job in her house to me . . . . I remember the first day that I left a flyer on her front door. An hour later she called me and since I didn’t speak English very well so we didn’t understand each other really good, she told me to just go to her house and so I went [;] that when I met her.
Since that first day I began to work with her and she help me so so much. She recommended me to the whole neighborhood, she would call her friends and would say oh you have to meet her, because she want to help me and she always tell them nice things about me and she knew that I had just gone through divorce, she help me so so much. Thanks to her, I remember when she told me “Ana I will never leave you, ever, you will be working with me forever . . .”

From Kristy’s doctor’s wife:
“Every year my husband sponsors a Sub for Santa drive through his business. He works two days for free and allows his patients to bring in gifts, food, or money for the children’s Christmas. Last year he sponsored 7 children. Kristy brought in a pair of shoes for each child. She said that if she was a struggling mother, she would want her children to have nice, warm shoes to wear, and she felt that this was the greatest way for her to help. I remember seeing all 7 pairs of shoes under his Christmas tree, and feeling so grateful to her and her generosity. It may seem like a simple thing, but I’m sure it meant so much to those children, and also to the mother of those children.

Two: Kristy had a capacity to mourn with those that mourned

From Amy:
When I miscarried a year ago this past December Kristy came by and brought me yummy cookies and cried with me. She listened to me and shared . . . “

From Corinne:
“I have so many wonderful and sweet memories of our dear Kristy. She was so very sensitive and in tune with me when I needed to just talk. She always knew what to say and how to say just what I needed to hear. She also knew when and how to listen with her whole heart and would just watch me talk with her deep beautiful brown, caring, and kind eyes that had so much love and concern and compassion in them. Oh, how I could feel her love for me and compassion for how I felt. It as though she knew what I felt!”

Three: Kristy comforted those who stood in need of comfort.

From a Relief Society sister:
“On one Sunday approximately four years ago, I was sitting in front of my fellow sisters as a member of the Relief Society Presidency. For some reason that has long escaped me, I sat facing them unable to control my tears. I remember thinking, here I am, falling apart, and not one person is noticing. Until Kristy. A note made its way to my hands, lending support and encouragement with a gentle reminder that I was not alone and that I mattered.

From Amy:
When my son had a lump in his leg last April I was so distressed at the horrible testing he had to endure that day. I reluctantly went to the Relief Society function that evening. [Kristy sang that night and] said she didn’t know why she was supposed to sing the song she chose but she knew that she had to sing it. . . . I knew at that moment why she was prompted to sing the song she did. The song she sang had a line in it [very familiar and comforting to me, which I had in my mind just before she started singing.] [Afterward,] I told her what [had] happened with my son that day and what [had] happened with her song. She hugged me and cried with me and gave me that song. She just handed it over.

And Four: Kristy stood as a witness of God in all times and all things, and in all places that she was in, even until death.

From Emily Allan Wood:
In 5th grade, she testified to our class at Milton Elementary that our history book was wrong and that Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon rather than wrote it. I remember feeling amazed that she had the courage to testify in front of the whole class, and tell them that the church is true.

From a fellow full-time missionary:
Sister Palizzi was in my district in the MTC. I remember her as a person with a strong testimony and a very outgoing personality. She was a caring and beautiful person. I wish I could have known her longer than those short 2 weeks.

From Mel Hegewald:
Kristy has a strong testimony of our Savior Jesus Christ and for His gospel. She holds fast to her testimony and her faith through trials and difficult times. She doesn’t waiver.

From a Relief Society sister:
“Kristy was smart and spiritual. I enjoyed her comments at church and in my home, as she was my visiting teacher for a while. She saw the spiritual in so many things I hadn’t. I was always impressed in her ability to quote scriptures and people. Her beautiful voice sang true praises of our lord Jesus Christ.”

From Amber:
“I remember talking with [Kristy] as we worked together in the kitchen on enrichment nights. Neither of us the type to hold back our thoughts, we had some wonderful and candid talks. But the thing I remember most about her was her testimony. It seemed to radiate from her no matter what the conversation was about.”

From a gospel instructor:
[Kristy] was such an example to me in so many ways. Never afraid to bear her testimony. Never afraid to make a friend. Never afraid to say what’s on her mind. Never afraid to help others. She had courage. She was authentic.
“Kristy had a testimony so simple and pure! She was never afraid to share it. I think every month that she lived in our ward she was up bearing her testimony. Every church lesson she had a comment. It was so nice to be a teacher and actually have someone to contribute to your lesson. What an example she was to me!”

What an example Kristy was to each and all of us. Think again of Kristy as I read the full text of Mosiah 18, verses 8 and 9:
“And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;
“Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need to comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—
Don’t you wish you could be like Kristy Koreen Palizzi Ragsdale in her emulation of Jesus Christ?

Think of becoming like Kristy was, inasmuch as her life reflected the qualities of our beloved Savior. Think of how much you would like to be like Christ as I read now Mosiah 18:11:
“And now when the people had heard these words, they clapped their hands for joy, and exclaimed: This is the desire of our hearts.”

In contemplating becoming like her Savior, Jesus Christ, I am confident that Kristy would clap her hands for joy, and exclaim: this is the desire of my heart!

May we, too, remember the example of our Savior and love and serve Him by joyfully serving His children, as Kristy did.

[Thank you, D. Allan for the link to this!!]

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