I will understand if you feel this post is a little bit off topic for this particular forum and if you want to delete it then I won’t mind.

I have had some emotionally traumatic experiences in my life. I had a childhood friend end his life with a shotgun my sister’s husband hung himself in the basement of their home, as well as a few other trying experiences. However, I still am having a difficult time understanding how someone, who appeared for all intents and purposes to be a normal individual, could do something so horrific. This is not to be construed as an apologetic post for Dave, but at the same time I feel so bad for him and what he must now endure that I literally can’t stop thinking about what may have caused him to “snap” like he did. The Deseret News reported the following: David Ragsdale was taking the anti-depressant medications Doxepin and Paroxetine, a testosterone medication and sleep aids, police and prosecutors told the judge.

I decided to look up information on these two particular anti-depressants to see if they could have played a role in this tragic incident. Some of what I found is a bit disturbing. (Note: this information comes from Wikipedia so it isn’t to be construed as clinical)

Paroxetine is an SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) with the following side effects:

Lesson Common:

• Apathy
• Loss of empathy
• Flattening of emotional response

Rare:

• Uncharacteristic levels of aggression
• Uncharacteristic risk taking
• Bipolar mania or hypomania (Manic patients may need to be hospitalized to protect themselves and others)

Doxepin is a psychotropic agent with tricyclic antidepressant and anxiolytic properties. The side effects for this drug are not near as disturbing with really only the following: “Doxepin may worsen psychotic conditions like schizophrenia and should be given with caution.”

The other drugs mentioned were testosterone and sleep aids. Not sure what the testosterone would be for except that some of the mentioned side effects for the anti-depressants were related to sexual issues. If someone is taking testosterone I wonder if it has the same side effects as steroids, i.e. Roid Rage.

I know that in life if we go looking for an explanation to something, if we search hard enough, we can cherry pick our way through information to a resolution. Maybe that is what I am doing, but for the life of me I can’t wrap my head around Dave doing this to Kristy without thinking that he had to have been on drugs, either that or he has literally gone crazy since we worked together in our ward, this is not the same guy I knew.

Now, I know that in the end everyone is given agency and I am not trying to abdicate blame for Dave. That being said I hope that for the sake of his soul that these drugs played a contributing factor in this horrible situation. It may just be me not wanting to accept the fact that one of my fellow humans could act so inhumane, I don’t know, I really don’t know.