Friday, January 30, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
So Amazing!
I do not know Kristy, except through this beautiful tribute. I was very, emotionally, affected by the story of her death. My son-in-law worked with David and we had shared some of his thoughts about David, especially after he took Kristy's life. I don't even know how I came to know about this blog, but I am so grateful for the words that have been expressed. She was really something, wasn't she?! I just want you to know that because of the things I have read about her, I feel that I am a better person. These little blogspots have so much to offer. I am a hospice nurse in Utah County and I have the distinct privilege of being able to care for some of those people who are preparing to leave us. Reading these things on Kristy's blog have touched me and I have shared them with many of the people whose lives I am in touch with. I have shared many things with those family members who are being left behind. Regret is difficult and because of many of the things that have been written here and that I have been able to share, I feel that some of my patients have known more love and appreciation prior to their departure.
I wish I had known Kristy. I wish I knew those who know her. But our paths haven't crossed except here and I am grateful to you, Sarah, for the friend you have been to Kristy and to all of those who have been able to share thoughts, feelings and love. I will miss reading new tributes. But I thank you, again, for this gift. God bless you, Ann, in your caring and nurturing of these precious little boys. God bless each of Kristy's "best" friends. I can only imagine the loss you must feel every day. Thank heaven, although the "missing her" never goes away, it just gets a little easier to bear.
With love and admiration,
An admirer in Cedar Hills
I wish I had known Kristy. I wish I knew those who know her. But our paths haven't crossed except here and I am grateful to you, Sarah, for the friend you have been to Kristy and to all of those who have been able to share thoughts, feelings and love. I will miss reading new tributes. But I thank you, again, for this gift. God bless you, Ann, in your caring and nurturing of these precious little boys. God bless each of Kristy's "best" friends. I can only imagine the loss you must feel every day. Thank heaven, although the "missing her" never goes away, it just gets a little easier to bear.
With love and admiration,
An admirer in Cedar Hills
Friday, January 16, 2009
Missing Kristy
I feel like I have just recently began the mourning process for Kristy. It has taken a year for me to really realize that she is gone instead of just hiding out somewhere. It has also been hard for me to mourn Kristy since I am married into David's family; there has hardly been a shoulder for me to cry on. It has been hard to process her loss while I feel like an outcast to her family. I hope that by posting my memories here I can feel like I belong to a group of people who miss her too.
I considered her to be my best friend the past several years. I think that a lot of people can say that about her, too. That shows what kind of person she was. I have been thinking about some of my favorite memories of Kristy: our several trips to Dipidee (while dieting) and then hiding the evidence, Friday afternoons meeting at the farmers market, Sunday dinners and hanging out on Sundays, her awesome makeup applications, racing through the Gardens on the segway demos and nearly getting kicked out, meeting up with her and Brandon at Disneyland at 10:00 at night and then being the last to leave the park, playing Cranium and Phase 10 into the wee hours of morning, she was always comparing our butts, watching girly movies together, the time she accidentally tried to put Carter's binky in my mouth (she just gave birth to him and was really tired), she was the worst secret keeper but she always had a way of getting things out of me, I would swear her to secrecy but she would always blab, I should have figured she would always tell because every other phone call started out by her saying "umm...I shouldn't be saying this to you but..." and then she would tell me someone else's secret! I could go on and on with favorite memories.
She gave so much to me. I always felt she gave to me much more than I gave to her. She helped me through my pregnancy losses. In fact, when I had just miscarried I would refuse to answer my phone to everyone but her. She was so comforting during those times. She was the first to know about my last pregnancy (she bought me the hpt). She hugged me while I cried and listened to me about my fear about losing again. I know she would be so happy that I carried this pregnancy. I sometimes imagine her talking baby talk to my baby and cuddling her.
A few days before she died she called me and said "no matter what just remember that I love you". I love you too, Kristy! I miss you tons. 'Till we meet again.
Amy
I considered her to be my best friend the past several years. I think that a lot of people can say that about her, too. That shows what kind of person she was. I have been thinking about some of my favorite memories of Kristy: our several trips to Dipidee (while dieting) and then hiding the evidence, Friday afternoons meeting at the farmers market, Sunday dinners and hanging out on Sundays, her awesome makeup applications, racing through the Gardens on the segway demos and nearly getting kicked out, meeting up with her and Brandon at Disneyland at 10:00 at night and then being the last to leave the park, playing Cranium and Phase 10 into the wee hours of morning, she was always comparing our butts, watching girly movies together, the time she accidentally tried to put Carter's binky in my mouth (she just gave birth to him and was really tired), she was the worst secret keeper but she always had a way of getting things out of me, I would swear her to secrecy but she would always blab, I should have figured she would always tell because every other phone call started out by her saying "umm...I shouldn't be saying this to you but..." and then she would tell me someone else's secret! I could go on and on with favorite memories.
She gave so much to me. I always felt she gave to me much more than I gave to her. She helped me through my pregnancy losses. In fact, when I had just miscarried I would refuse to answer my phone to everyone but her. She was so comforting during those times. She was the first to know about my last pregnancy (she bought me the hpt). She hugged me while I cried and listened to me about my fear about losing again. I know she would be so happy that I carried this pregnancy. I sometimes imagine her talking baby talk to my baby and cuddling her.
A few days before she died she called me and said "no matter what just remember that I love you". I love you too, Kristy! I miss you tons. 'Till we meet again.
Amy
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Happy Birthday Kristy!!
In honor of Kristy's birthday, Nikki gathered a group together and we all went to Dippidee Dee's. Kristy's favorite sweet shoppe. Everyone got a treat and ate it for Kristy. We had a great time and wished Kristy would have been with us.
Love,
Mel
Love,
Mel
Happy Birhday-- Missing You!
For the last year, I have been jotting down my "Memories of Kristy" as they would occur to me, over several pages in my day planner. I should be able to write a book in the near future . . . At first, I could not think of her without being overwhelmed with grief, but eventually those tears turned into laughter when I would least expect it. We had so many inside jokes that others would probably not have found the least bit funny (perhaps, offensive even), but it was that part of her that made me fall in love with her. That may be a strange way to describe how our friendship developed, but in reality, she pursued a frienship with me in many similar ways that a man would pursue a relationship with a woman - she was bloody persistent! At first, I didn't welcome her "advances" as I thought she was too intrusive, too hyper, too happy, too goody-two shoes (obviously I hadn't gotten to know her when I came to that conclusion), etc. But eventually she wore me down and I discovered that this person who I once thought had nothing in common with me, was actually the only person (other than my family) who ever really "got" me. I'm not really sure what she saw in me that made her want to be my friend, but I am so thankful for the years that she was a part of my life. I hope you can find the humor in this . . .
When I was pregnant with my only child, I was anxious to know what I was in for as far as the whole "childbirth" experience. Every woman that I asked seemed to sugar-coat it and say things like "it's not that bad" or that it would feel like "really bad cramps", etc. Brandon was about two months old by this time, and I knew Kristy wouldn't try to "BS" me . . . She laid it down and told me that I'd better not have anything nearby that could be considered a lethal weapon because I would seriously consider using it on myself during hard labor. She then added that I'd better not be too attached to my breasts because they were going to turn into "pancake boobs" by the time I was done breast feeding. Nice . . .
When Kristy and I were working together, we would take frequent trips to Starbucks for a little "pick me up". Kristy would usually just order a small hot chocolate, unless I offered to buy, in which case her order would suddenly change to a grande hot chocolate with vanilla, and maybe a piece of coffee cake or something to tide her over until lunch. She said that her appetite grew when somebody else was paying . . .
A few years back, by way of channel surfing, I had stumbled across the Reality Genre's newest creation, "Dog the Bounty Hunter". More often than I'd like to admit, I'd find myself staying up way past my bedtime watching it. It was like a train wreck; I couldn't look away! I was talking to Kristy the following week and was about to make my confession to her, but I had only uttered the words "You're not going to believe what stupid show I've gotten myself addicted to . . .", when she finished it for me with "Let me guess? Dog the Bounty Hunter?". It seem she too, was guilty of the same pleasure.
I think of her every time something funny happens because I know that she would laugh with me. For those of you that knew her; do you remember that laugh she had when she would throw her head back with her mouth open and her eyes shut? Did she ever demonstrate the "PTA Mom Dance" for you? I might still cry from time to time when I really miss her, but I think the laughter will far outweigh the tears!
Love,
Your Fellow Earthquake Survivor (Sarah)
When I was pregnant with my only child, I was anxious to know what I was in for as far as the whole "childbirth" experience. Every woman that I asked seemed to sugar-coat it and say things like "it's not that bad" or that it would feel like "really bad cramps", etc. Brandon was about two months old by this time, and I knew Kristy wouldn't try to "BS" me . . . She laid it down and told me that I'd better not have anything nearby that could be considered a lethal weapon because I would seriously consider using it on myself during hard labor. She then added that I'd better not be too attached to my breasts because they were going to turn into "pancake boobs" by the time I was done breast feeding. Nice . . .
When Kristy and I were working together, we would take frequent trips to Starbucks for a little "pick me up". Kristy would usually just order a small hot chocolate, unless I offered to buy, in which case her order would suddenly change to a grande hot chocolate with vanilla, and maybe a piece of coffee cake or something to tide her over until lunch. She said that her appetite grew when somebody else was paying . . .
A few years back, by way of channel surfing, I had stumbled across the Reality Genre's newest creation, "Dog the Bounty Hunter". More often than I'd like to admit, I'd find myself staying up way past my bedtime watching it. It was like a train wreck; I couldn't look away! I was talking to Kristy the following week and was about to make my confession to her, but I had only uttered the words "You're not going to believe what stupid show I've gotten myself addicted to . . .", when she finished it for me with "Let me guess? Dog the Bounty Hunter?". It seem she too, was guilty of the same pleasure.
I think of her every time something funny happens because I know that she would laugh with me. For those of you that knew her; do you remember that laugh she had when she would throw her head back with her mouth open and her eyes shut? Did she ever demonstrate the "PTA Mom Dance" for you? I might still cry from time to time when I really miss her, but I think the laughter will far outweigh the tears!
Love,
Your Fellow Earthquake Survivor (Sarah)
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Written January 5, 2009 (more posts below this)
One year ago tonight I spent a very pleasurable evening with Kristy. We went condo shopping and out to dinner then back to her house. We stayed up late and had a deep thoughtful conversation. We basically bore testimony to each other and Kristy sang a couple of her favorite songs to me. Our last words that evening were words of love and affection, hugs and kisses on the cheek. Only 11 hours later she lay dead in the snow. What a cherished memory for me to look back and know that we had said the things that needed to be said. I have no regrets that I left things unsaid. It brings comfort to my soul.
This year has been difficult but I try to move forward with the fortitude and strength that Kristy has. Her little boys deserve no less than what their mommy would have given them.
We are back home in Washington for good. All of your prayers have been answered. We have permanent guardianship of Brandon and Carter. We are all getting used to each other in a new setting and environment. We had the whole family together for the holidays. It really helped us to think forward instead of backwards. We are starting to feel the joy and laughter in our lives again.
I would like to talk with you briefly about grieving. These are the stages that we go through. It may help you to know where you are along the grieving path. First is SHOCK. In this case it was an incredible incomprehensible shock. Second is DENIAL. We play these mental games like we say to ourselves that Kristy will be bounding through the door with a big grin on her face and say Just kidding!! Then the incredible pain that comes with the full impact of how evil this was and that it is permanent. Then comes the Anger. Whoooahhh. In this case it is a really big one that leaves a lot of us dealing with an anger that we are not prepared to deal with. I feel like there is only one way out of the anger and that is forgiveness.
The true spiritual meaning of forgiveness is to place it in God's hands to measure out justice. This whole experience has taught me that I have a perfect faith in God's justice. It will be just as exact as it should be, no more and no less. There is absolutely no thing that I or anyone else can do to screw up David's life anymore than he has done to himself. It is our moral obligation to make sure that he is never in a position to do this to another family ever again, thus the law of the land. It is so easy to get caught up in the anger stage of grieving. If we do then we give our personal power to David Ragsdale to destroy our lives. I for one refuse to let that man have any influence or power over me ever again. The last and most important stage of grieving is GRATITUDE. Get a piece of paper and write down all of the wonderful things that Kristy brought into your life. Don't cry because she's gone but laugh and smile because she came into your life. Now come on, admit it. Your life would not have been as colorful if Kristy has not come into it. Anger and gratitude cannot dwell in the same heart. Be as determined as I am that righteousness shall prevail in my life and the lives of my loved ones.
Just remember that we are all unique individuals and our grieving will be as unique as we are. We will all be on a different time table. That is okay and cool. God and life experiences make us all different. Just keep working at it and try to learn as much from the experience as you can.
Thanks to all of you for the amazing support you have been to my family and the boys. Some acts of kindness were huge and others may be seen as small but added all together were incredible. It has shown me over and over that my Heavenly Father knows me personally and that he inspires righteous people to action in my behalf. The timing of the service and gifts were in the very moment that I needed to know that I was loved and thought of. It was too perfect to be coincidental. It was orchestrated by a higher power. God has answered your prayers abundantly. Our lives have been strengthened and enriched by this whole process as we witness the incredible good in people..
If it has been a while since you have told your mom, daughter, best friend, spouse or children that you love them... please take my advise and do it today in memory of Kristy. You never know if it will be the last conversation you will have with your loved one so say what is in your heart and have no regrets. It is an awesome thing. Oh how I know- and I am so grateful for our last loving hours together- my Kristy and I .
Love, Mom
This year has been difficult but I try to move forward with the fortitude and strength that Kristy has. Her little boys deserve no less than what their mommy would have given them.
We are back home in Washington for good. All of your prayers have been answered. We have permanent guardianship of Brandon and Carter. We are all getting used to each other in a new setting and environment. We had the whole family together for the holidays. It really helped us to think forward instead of backwards. We are starting to feel the joy and laughter in our lives again.
I would like to talk with you briefly about grieving. These are the stages that we go through. It may help you to know where you are along the grieving path. First is SHOCK. In this case it was an incredible incomprehensible shock. Second is DENIAL. We play these mental games like we say to ourselves that Kristy will be bounding through the door with a big grin on her face and say Just kidding!! Then the incredible pain that comes with the full impact of how evil this was and that it is permanent. Then comes the Anger. Whoooahhh. In this case it is a really big one that leaves a lot of us dealing with an anger that we are not prepared to deal with. I feel like there is only one way out of the anger and that is forgiveness.
The true spiritual meaning of forgiveness is to place it in God's hands to measure out justice. This whole experience has taught me that I have a perfect faith in God's justice. It will be just as exact as it should be, no more and no less. There is absolutely no thing that I or anyone else can do to screw up David's life anymore than he has done to himself. It is our moral obligation to make sure that he is never in a position to do this to another family ever again, thus the law of the land. It is so easy to get caught up in the anger stage of grieving. If we do then we give our personal power to David Ragsdale to destroy our lives. I for one refuse to let that man have any influence or power over me ever again. The last and most important stage of grieving is GRATITUDE. Get a piece of paper and write down all of the wonderful things that Kristy brought into your life. Don't cry because she's gone but laugh and smile because she came into your life. Now come on, admit it. Your life would not have been as colorful if Kristy has not come into it. Anger and gratitude cannot dwell in the same heart. Be as determined as I am that righteousness shall prevail in my life and the lives of my loved ones.
Just remember that we are all unique individuals and our grieving will be as unique as we are. We will all be on a different time table. That is okay and cool. God and life experiences make us all different. Just keep working at it and try to learn as much from the experience as you can.
Thanks to all of you for the amazing support you have been to my family and the boys. Some acts of kindness were huge and others may be seen as small but added all together were incredible. It has shown me over and over that my Heavenly Father knows me personally and that he inspires righteous people to action in my behalf. The timing of the service and gifts were in the very moment that I needed to know that I was loved and thought of. It was too perfect to be coincidental. It was orchestrated by a higher power. God has answered your prayers abundantly. Our lives have been strengthened and enriched by this whole process as we witness the incredible good in people..
If it has been a while since you have told your mom, daughter, best friend, spouse or children that you love them... please take my advise and do it today in memory of Kristy. You never know if it will be the last conversation you will have with your loved one so say what is in your heart and have no regrets. It is an awesome thing. Oh how I know- and I am so grateful for our last loving hours together- my Kristy and I .
Love, Mom
In Memory of Kristy
I have been thinking of you all day. To me today is a great (your birth) and dreadful (your death) day. I have decided to focus on the positive and how your example has helped me. So many things are running through my mind. Most of all I’ve thought, how can I honor my friend today? Although, I have a LONG ways to go, I realized I have been doing this through out the year. I want you to know how you have helped me grow. It’s too bad it took your death as a wake up call.
In your memory I have tried to serve others more. Service has become a very important part of my life. My grandma, who I idolized, was also a great example of this. It makes me feel good to emulate you both and mostly my Savior in this way.
In your memory, I have put some fears aside and am working on developing some talents (wish they were talents), working on some hobbies that I have put off.
In your memory, I have reprioritized my life. I am working outside the home less and doing a better job of putting my family first.
In your memory, I am trying to be a better friend and express my love to those around me.
In your memory, I am loving the life I have been given. I am trying to life it to the fullest and NO MORE REGRETS.
In your memory, I hold my children longer and tighter. I spend more quality time with them. I let them, my wonderful husband, and my Heavenly Father know how thankful I am to have them in my life.
Thank you so much for all that you have taught me. Happy Birthday! I love you! I went to visit your grave today and left laughing, because I know you had to be laughing at me. I’ve had some flowers I’ve meant to drop off the last couple of months. I couldn’t believe how deep the snow was. I wasn’t exactly dressed for the 3’ feet of snow that was waiting for me. I was determined to get the flowers to your grave. With every step my brand new Tommy Hilfiger dress shoes were falling off. I was practically walking in my socks. Not to mention, falling over with every step that I had to stop and pull my shoes out of the snow. It was a quite a sight. Needless to say, I’ll be wearing snow boots next year. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is:)
In your memory I have tried to serve others more. Service has become a very important part of my life. My grandma, who I idolized, was also a great example of this. It makes me feel good to emulate you both and mostly my Savior in this way.
In your memory, I have put some fears aside and am working on developing some talents (wish they were talents), working on some hobbies that I have put off.
In your memory, I have reprioritized my life. I am working outside the home less and doing a better job of putting my family first.
In your memory, I am trying to be a better friend and express my love to those around me.
In your memory, I am loving the life I have been given. I am trying to life it to the fullest and NO MORE REGRETS.
In your memory, I hold my children longer and tighter. I spend more quality time with them. I let them, my wonderful husband, and my Heavenly Father know how thankful I am to have them in my life.
Thank you so much for all that you have taught me. Happy Birthday! I love you! I went to visit your grave today and left laughing, because I know you had to be laughing at me. I’ve had some flowers I’ve meant to drop off the last couple of months. I couldn’t believe how deep the snow was. I wasn’t exactly dressed for the 3’ feet of snow that was waiting for me. I was determined to get the flowers to your grave. With every step my brand new Tommy Hilfiger dress shoes were falling off. I was practically walking in my socks. Not to mention, falling over with every step that I had to stop and pull my shoes out of the snow. It was a quite a sight. Needless to say, I’ll be wearing snow boots next year. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is:)
Kristy's Birthday
To My Sister Palizzi:
I dug up my old missionary letters, journal and pictures the other day so I could write a letter I’ve been meaning to get to for some time now… I came across a couple of letters from Kristy and it made me think of her great, quirky sense of humor and contagious happy spirit. I served with Kristy in Dothan, Alabama the end of 1999. One letter had a picture of her dressed as a nun and said: “Sister Act, No Sex. No Booze. No Men. No Way.” She sent me the letter September 2000, only three weeks from her coming home from her mission. This letter was typical Kristy, always trying to make people laugh and smile. She always was telling me how much she loved me and I knew that she did. I also could tell how much she loved everyone around her. She especially loved her family and talked about them all the time. She talked about wanting to set up her brother, Andy, with one of her mission companions. I ended up meeting Andy through another friend of mine in a BYU singles ward and felt like I already knew him. He later ended up marrying one of Kristy’s companions.
We always had a great time listening to church music and Disney tunes in our missionary car. Some of our favorites were “The Ugly Bug Ball, Tarzan”, and Hilary Weeks “He Will”. Some of her funniest moments occurred when we had cockroaches in the apartment and she would grab a can of starch and spray them stiff or she would quote the movie lines from “Steel Magnolias”. She had a great big heart for the youth in our area. We worked with a family in the ward that had a teenage daughter that was struggling with some things, and Kristy took her under her wing, talked to her, loved her and tried to help her see her potential as a Daughter of God. You could tell that this young girl really looked up to Kristy and appreciated her advice and loved her as well. She loved and respected our Mission President, President Millett and his wife, as well. She was so excited to go and see them at their homecoming when they returned home from their mission.
Kristy was always dressed nice and took time to present herself well. By the time I was finishing up with my mission, we tried converting her to wear jumpers and cotton skirts like some of us other sisters did. We always wanted to wear her clothes because she had the best wardrobe. She loved pear lotion from Victoria’s secret and every time I smell it, I think of Kristy. I loved to hear Kristy sing. Some of my favorite memories were when Kristy sung, whether it was in Zone Conference with Sister Bridgers, a baptism or even just in the car.
When she got home from her mission and she moved down to Utah, she was so anxious to set me up and find me a husband. She was always trying to set everyone up and marry them off. She always took great care of her appearance, her home and made people feel so welcome. My only regret is that I didn’t get to spend as much time with Kristy since she had moved to Utah. Kristy had a way of making everyone feel loved. I love reading about how many lives she touched. I am forever grateful I was one of them. You’ll be in forever in my heart, “Sister Palizzi”! Happy Birthday!
Crystal Hawkins Turner
I dug up my old missionary letters, journal and pictures the other day so I could write a letter I’ve been meaning to get to for some time now… I came across a couple of letters from Kristy and it made me think of her great, quirky sense of humor and contagious happy spirit. I served with Kristy in Dothan, Alabama the end of 1999. One letter had a picture of her dressed as a nun and said: “Sister Act, No Sex. No Booze. No Men. No Way.” She sent me the letter September 2000, only three weeks from her coming home from her mission. This letter was typical Kristy, always trying to make people laugh and smile. She always was telling me how much she loved me and I knew that she did. I also could tell how much she loved everyone around her. She especially loved her family and talked about them all the time. She talked about wanting to set up her brother, Andy, with one of her mission companions. I ended up meeting Andy through another friend of mine in a BYU singles ward and felt like I already knew him. He later ended up marrying one of Kristy’s companions.
We always had a great time listening to church music and Disney tunes in our missionary car. Some of our favorites were “The Ugly Bug Ball, Tarzan”, and Hilary Weeks “He Will”. Some of her funniest moments occurred when we had cockroaches in the apartment and she would grab a can of starch and spray them stiff or she would quote the movie lines from “Steel Magnolias”. She had a great big heart for the youth in our area. We worked with a family in the ward that had a teenage daughter that was struggling with some things, and Kristy took her under her wing, talked to her, loved her and tried to help her see her potential as a Daughter of God. You could tell that this young girl really looked up to Kristy and appreciated her advice and loved her as well. She loved and respected our Mission President, President Millett and his wife, as well. She was so excited to go and see them at their homecoming when they returned home from their mission.
Kristy was always dressed nice and took time to present herself well. By the time I was finishing up with my mission, we tried converting her to wear jumpers and cotton skirts like some of us other sisters did. We always wanted to wear her clothes because she had the best wardrobe. She loved pear lotion from Victoria’s secret and every time I smell it, I think of Kristy. I loved to hear Kristy sing. Some of my favorite memories were when Kristy sung, whether it was in Zone Conference with Sister Bridgers, a baptism or even just in the car.
When she got home from her mission and she moved down to Utah, she was so anxious to set me up and find me a husband. She was always trying to set everyone up and marry them off. She always took great care of her appearance, her home and made people feel so welcome. My only regret is that I didn’t get to spend as much time with Kristy since she had moved to Utah. Kristy had a way of making everyone feel loved. I love reading about how many lives she touched. I am forever grateful I was one of them. You’ll be in forever in my heart, “Sister Palizzi”! Happy Birthday!
Crystal Hawkins Turner
I have been thinking of Kristy so much lately. I can't believe she's been gone a year now. Maybe I'm being silly, but I feel like this past year has just flown by! I think Kristy is so proud of her family and friends for keeping her memory so alive, though. I know she would be so touched by how we all remember her so often...and laugh, out loud, at so many funny things she would say or do. I feel so honored to have known her.
I loved having Ann and her boys here.....even though I know how was selfish it was of me to want them to stay. I wish I would have gone to see her more often while she was here. Ann was such a source of strength for so many of us, even though it should have been the other way around. I loved getting to know her better....and I truly loved her strong-willed, fun personality. I loved the advice she would give me, and I'll never forget the times we spent talking about Kristy. I loved seeing Kristy's boys smile....and I loved the feeling I'd get in my heart that they were truly going to be OK.
It has been said many times, but I am still amazed at the dedication and love Kristy's family has shown through all this. I can't believe it's already been a year since I heard the horrible news of her death. I can still feel that shock and sadness when I remember that day, one year ago. I will never forget her funeral and feeling the overwhelming message of "forgiveness"... and being in utter amazement of that.
I have some of Kristy's things in my house right now, and there isn't a day when I see those things... that I don't think of Kristy, and how she should be enjoying them right now. I know she's busy and continuing her great missionary work...but I can still hear her voice sometimes. Maybe I'm crazy....Maybe I'm not..... But I can honestly hear her telling me sometimes to just "enjoy my kids"..... I can hear the overwhelming message to just "slow down" and "enjoy them" ....so many times. I know she'd love how they crawl up onto the table that was hers and sing a song for me. I know she'd love how they'll grab their books and want to color up there. I know she'd love how they're just having fun being KIDS. I have learned so much in the past year. I feel like I've strengthened friendships and gained some new friends because of Kristy. I feel so grateful for the blessings I have in my life....and still so sad to have lost a friend so soon. I am so grateful for the knowledge we have that we will be able to see her again. I am so grateful to Ann for spending so much time with us and letting us continue to feel so close to Kristy through her and the boys.
Happy Birthday, Kristy! I miss you, and I'll be thinking of you today.....
Love, Carrie
I loved having Ann and her boys here.....even though I know how was selfish it was of me to want them to stay. I wish I would have gone to see her more often while she was here. Ann was such a source of strength for so many of us, even though it should have been the other way around. I loved getting to know her better....and I truly loved her strong-willed, fun personality. I loved the advice she would give me, and I'll never forget the times we spent talking about Kristy. I loved seeing Kristy's boys smile....and I loved the feeling I'd get in my heart that they were truly going to be OK.
It has been said many times, but I am still amazed at the dedication and love Kristy's family has shown through all this. I can't believe it's already been a year since I heard the horrible news of her death. I can still feel that shock and sadness when I remember that day, one year ago. I will never forget her funeral and feeling the overwhelming message of "forgiveness"... and being in utter amazement of that.
I have some of Kristy's things in my house right now, and there isn't a day when I see those things... that I don't think of Kristy, and how she should be enjoying them right now. I know she's busy and continuing her great missionary work...but I can still hear her voice sometimes. Maybe I'm crazy....Maybe I'm not..... But I can honestly hear her telling me sometimes to just "enjoy my kids"..... I can hear the overwhelming message to just "slow down" and "enjoy them" ....so many times. I know she'd love how they crawl up onto the table that was hers and sing a song for me. I know she'd love how they'll grab their books and want to color up there. I know she'd love how they're just having fun being KIDS. I have learned so much in the past year. I feel like I've strengthened friendships and gained some new friends because of Kristy. I feel so grateful for the blessings I have in my life....and still so sad to have lost a friend so soon. I am so grateful for the knowledge we have that we will be able to see her again. I am so grateful to Ann for spending so much time with us and letting us continue to feel so close to Kristy through her and the boys.
Happy Birthday, Kristy! I miss you, and I'll be thinking of you today.....
Love, Carrie
Friday, January 2, 2009
It's strange how someone you have never met can have such a strong impact on your life!
I do not know Kristy or at least I never had the chance to meet her in this life. I feel however that she has made such a difference in my life the past year. As a new mother and part of a family with a history of suicide I have experienced some depression in the past year. I assume it's mostly normal, the typical baby blues. It's always difficult for me to smile once the holidays are over. I recall last year being in my blue state when I heard about Kristy. My heart ached for her family, her children, parents and in-laws too. I can't say I know how they felt but I think I can empathize with their pain after losing both my brother and father in very tragic deaths.
I logged onto this blog out of curiosity. I was blown away by the impact that one person has made in this world. She was loved by so many people. Her smile radiated and I assume would light up any room she entered. I have enjoyed reading the many stories about her and seeing all the pictures. It has made me often wonder what my blog would say. Will I leave this world with such a big footprint stamped in people's hearts? Will they remember me for my kindness, my talents, the type of friend I have tried to be?
Kristy, although you are gone from this world I know that you aren't too far away. Thank you for reminding me of what is important. Thank you for pushing me to be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend. Thank you for teaching me how important my example can be to others, even strangers. I hope one day to meet you face to face and thank you for the impact you have left on me. May you look down from above as an angel to watch over your Mother as she raises your children and continues to teach them of your love. May you continue to touch my life and others in death as you did in life. RIP
All my love,
Shar
I do not know Kristy or at least I never had the chance to meet her in this life. I feel however that she has made such a difference in my life the past year. As a new mother and part of a family with a history of suicide I have experienced some depression in the past year. I assume it's mostly normal, the typical baby blues. It's always difficult for me to smile once the holidays are over. I recall last year being in my blue state when I heard about Kristy. My heart ached for her family, her children, parents and in-laws too. I can't say I know how they felt but I think I can empathize with their pain after losing both my brother and father in very tragic deaths.
I logged onto this blog out of curiosity. I was blown away by the impact that one person has made in this world. She was loved by so many people. Her smile radiated and I assume would light up any room she entered. I have enjoyed reading the many stories about her and seeing all the pictures. It has made me often wonder what my blog would say. Will I leave this world with such a big footprint stamped in people's hearts? Will they remember me for my kindness, my talents, the type of friend I have tried to be?
Kristy, although you are gone from this world I know that you aren't too far away. Thank you for reminding me of what is important. Thank you for pushing me to be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend. Thank you for teaching me how important my example can be to others, even strangers. I hope one day to meet you face to face and thank you for the impact you have left on me. May you look down from above as an angel to watch over your Mother as she raises your children and continues to teach them of your love. May you continue to touch my life and others in death as you did in life. RIP
All my love,
Shar
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