In Kristy's Memory

Kristi

2011-01-19T08:30:00.000-07:00

I was a very awkward beehive when I met Kristi at camp. She was one of those girls that was so pretty that it surprised me that she also had such a kindness about her that made me instantly comfortable. I was blessed to be her "secret sister". I remember thinking that she really did care because of the things she got me. She payed attention and even went a little overboard. I love oldies and she made me a mixed tape. I wrote down that I liked suckers and she brought me a whole gallon bag of them. That was Kristi: Kind, thoughtful, talented and unforgettable. It's been 20 years and I remember her well, i didn't know her as well as i'd like to have but what I did know, I loved and admired about her. God bless her family, especially her sons. Thanks Kristi for your example.

2011-01-06T10:33:00.000-07:00

Kristy,

We so miss you! Your boys and I were talking about you yesterday. They love to hear everything I can remember about you. I tell them every silly story I can think of. They hang on every word, then bounce off to play with my kids. They are such good boys. Last Sunday, your mom wanted to bear her testimony. Carter said, "If you go up there, I will make lots of noise!" Your mom replied, "Then why don't you go sit with Dana." I was so honored that he chose to sit with me! They both make me feel special, just like you would. Your sweet and spunky personality lives on. I know you are watching over them, and they do too! I plan to make you a cake today & eat it with the boys!

We all love and miss you!

Dana

Kristy

2011-01-03T08:28:00.001-07:00

Oh how I miss you my sweet, beautiful friend!

I was just looking through some of my bridal shower pics, you know the one's... I'm holding the bag filled to the brim of elastic waistband granny pants from you and your mom! We were laughing so hard we were crying! I could alway's count on you to bring me to my knee's in laughter. How sweet my joy will be when we meet again Kristy. I love you and miss you something crazy!

Loving you forever,
Cynthia

2011-01-03T00:46:00.001-07:00

It's nearing January 6th....

I met someone the other day that reminded me so much of you. Had that sneaky side that would have totally texted me late at night like you did. With the funniest things. Mostly twilight.

And what about the plate of lemon cupcakes that you made for me?

Or that one time you wanted to try rosemary scalloped potatoes with your new silpat cookware stuff? Everyone came to that party. Your house was packed!

You brought me some rosemary potatoes a few nights before the party. It was really cold... it was winter.... and you left your house with a hot plate of potatoes and drove to mine. Just for me to taste them and tell you how good they were.

Happy Birthday. I seriously miss you. I can't believe you're gone. There's a huge hole.

You would have been 33 this year. I still think about you all the time.

Love love love,

Sarah

2009-02-05T15:48:00.001-07:00

Kristy's Family and Friends,

On behalf of everyone reading this blog, and everyone that has written, I would like to give a big Thank You. This has been a source of healing for me and countless others. We have grown from each other's stories, thoughts, jokes and photographs. Hearing from Ann and other family members has been a special experience. We all love Kristy, the beautiful dark-haired girl. We miss her.

Thank you for putting forth enough effort to write about Kristy, thank you for surrounding each other with uplifting thoughts, and most of all, thank you for keeping Kristy and her family in your constant thoughts and prayers.

May her 30 years of beautiful life be a foundation for many. May her ups and downs shape us into better people. May we read entries here from time to time and cry, laugh, smile and make resolutions.

May we always love each other.

2009-01-30T15:38:00.001-07:00

Dave Ragsdale was sentenced today. To read the story, click here.

So Amazing!

2009-01-28T06:35:00.000-07:00

I do not know Kristy, except through this beautiful tribute. I was very, emotionally, affected by the story of her death. My son-in-law worked with David and we had shared some of his thoughts about David, especially after he took Kristy's life. I don't even know how I came to know about this blog, but I am so grateful for the words that have been expressed. She was really something, wasn't she?! I just want you to know that because of the things I have read about her, I feel that I am a better person. These little blogspots have so much to offer. I am a hospice nurse in Utah County and I have the distinct privilege of being able to care for some of those people who are preparing to leave us. Reading these things on Kristy's blog have touched me and I have shared them with many of the people whose lives I am in touch with. I have shared many things with those family members who are being left behind. Regret is difficult and because of many of the things that have been written here and that I have been able to share, I feel that some of my patients have known more love and appreciation prior to their departure.

I wish I had known Kristy. I wish I knew those who know her. But our paths haven't crossed except here and I am grateful to you, Sarah, for the friend you have been to Kristy and to all of those who have been able to share thoughts, feelings and love. I will miss reading new tributes. But I thank you, again, for this gift. God bless you, Ann, in your caring and nurturing of these precious little boys. God bless each of Kristy's "best" friends. I can only imagine the loss you must feel every day. Thank heaven, although the "missing her" never goes away, it just gets a little easier to bear.

With love and admiration,
An admirer in Cedar Hills

Missing Kristy

2009-01-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

I feel like I have just recently began the mourning process for Kristy. It has taken a year for me to really realize that she is gone instead of just hiding out somewhere. It has also been hard for me to mourn Kristy since I am married into David's family; there has hardly been a shoulder for me to cry on. It has been hard to process her loss while I feel like an outcast to her family. I hope that by posting my memories here I can feel like I belong to a group of people who miss her too.

I considered her to be my best friend the past several years. I think that a lot of people can say that about her, too. That shows what kind of person she was. I have been thinking about some of my favorite memories of Kristy: our several trips to Dipidee (while dieting) and then hiding the evidence, Friday afternoons meeting at the farmers market, Sunday dinners and hanging out on Sundays, her awesome makeup applications, racing through the Gardens on the segway demos and nearly getting kicked out, meeting up with her and Brandon at Disneyland at 10:00 at night and then being the last to leave the park, playing Cranium and Phase 10 into the wee hours of morning, she was always comparing our butts, watching girly movies together, the time she accidentally tried to put Carter's binky in my mouth (she just gave birth to him and was really tired), she was the worst secret keeper but she always had a way of getting things out of me, I would swear her to secrecy but she would always blab, I should have figured she would always tell because every other phone call started out by her saying "umm...I shouldn't be saying this to you but..." and then she would tell me someone else's secret! I could go on and on with favorite memories.

She gave so much to me. I always felt she gave to me much more than I gave to her. She helped me through my pregnancy losses. In fact, when I had just miscarried I would refuse to answer my phone to everyone but her. She was so comforting during those times. She was the first to know about my last pregnancy (she bought me the hpt). She hugged me while I cried and listened to me about my fear about losing again. I know she would be so happy that I carried this pregnancy. I sometimes imagine her talking baby talk to my baby and cuddling her.

A few days before she died she called me and said "no matter what just remember that I love you". I love you too, Kristy! I miss you tons. 'Till we meet again.

Amy

Happy Birthday Kristy!!

2009-01-07T19:31:00.000-07:00

In honor of Kristy's birthday, Nikki gathered a group together and we all went to Dippidee Dee's. Kristy's favorite sweet shoppe. Everyone got a treat and ate it for Kristy. We had a great time and wished Kristy would have been with us.

Love,
Mel

Happy Birhday-- Missing You!

2009-01-07T07:22:00.000-07:00

For the last year, I have been jotting down my "Memories of Kristy" as they would occur to me, over several pages in my day planner. I should be able to write a book in the near future . . . At first, I could not think of her without being overwhelmed with grief, but eventually those tears turned into laughter when I would least expect it. We had so many inside jokes that others would probably not have found the least bit funny (perhaps, offensive even), but it was that part of her that made me fall in love with her. That may be a strange way to describe how our friendship developed, but in reality, she pursued a frienship with me in many similar ways that a man would pursue a relationship with a woman - she was bloody persistent! At first, I didn't welcome her "advances" as I thought she was too intrusive, too hyper, too happy, too goody-two shoes (obviously I hadn't gotten to know her when I came to that conclusion), etc. But eventually she wore me down and I discovered that this person who I once thought had nothing in common with me, was actually the only person (other than my family) who ever really "got" me. I'm not really sure what she saw in me that made her want to be my friend, but I am so thankful for the years that she was a part of my life. I hope you can find the humor in this . . .

When I was pregnant with my only child, I was anxious to know what I was in for as far as the whole "childbirth" experience. Every woman that I asked seemed to sugar-coat it and say things like "it's not that bad" or that it would feel like "really bad cramps", etc. Brandon was about two months old by this time, and I knew Kristy wouldn't try to "BS" me . . . She laid it down and told me that I'd better not have anything nearby that could be considered a lethal weapon because I would seriously consider using it on myself during hard labor. She then added that I'd better not be too attached to my breasts because they were going to turn into "pancake boobs" by the time I was done breast feeding. Nice . . .

When Kristy and I were working together, we would take frequent trips to Starbucks for a little "pick me up". Kristy would usually just order a small hot chocolate, unless I offered to buy, in which case her order would suddenly change to a grande hot chocolate with vanilla, and maybe a piece of coffee cake or something to tide her over until lunch. She said that her appetite grew when somebody else was paying . . .

A few years back, by way of channel surfing, I had stumbled across the Reality Genre's newest creation, "Dog the Bounty Hunter". More often than I'd like to admit, I'd find myself staying up way past my bedtime watching it. It was like a train wreck; I couldn't look away! I was talking to Kristy the following week and was about to make my confession to her, but I had only uttered the words "You're not going to believe what stupid show I've gotten myself addicted to . . .", when she finished it for me with "Let me guess? Dog the Bounty Hunter?". It seem she too, was guilty of the same pleasure.

I think of her every time something funny happens because I know that she would laugh with me. For those of you that knew her; do you remember that laugh she had when she would throw her head back with her mouth open and her eyes shut? Did she ever demonstrate the "PTA Mom Dance" for you? I might still cry from time to time when I really miss her, but I think the laughter will far outweigh the tears!

Love,

Your Fellow Earthquake Survivor (Sarah)

Written January 5, 2009 (more posts below this)

2009-01-06T11:48:00.000-07:00

One year ago tonight I spent a very pleasurable evening with Kristy. We went condo shopping and out to dinner then back to her house. We stayed up late and had a deep thoughtful conversation. We basically bore testimony to each other and Kristy sang a couple of her favorite songs to me. Our last words that evening were words of love and affection, hugs and kisses on the cheek. Only 11 hours later she lay dead in the snow. What a cherished memory for me to look back and know that we had said the things that needed to be said. I have no regrets that I left things unsaid. It brings comfort to my soul.

This year has been difficult but I try to move forward with the fortitude and strength that Kristy has. Her little boys deserve no less than what their mommy would have given them.

We are back home in Washington for good. All of your prayers have been answered. We have permanent guardianship of Brandon and Carter. We are all getting used to each other in a new setting and environment. We had the whole family together for the holidays. It really helped us to think forward instead of backwards. We are starting to feel the joy and laughter in our lives again.

I would like to talk with you briefly about grieving. These are the stages that we go through. It may help you to know where you are along the grieving path. First is SHOCK. In this case it was an incredible incomprehensible shock. Second is DENIAL. We play these mental games like we say to ourselves that Kristy will be bounding through the door with a big grin on her face and say Just kidding!! Then the incredible pain that comes with the full impact of how evil this was and that it is permanent. Then comes the Anger. Whoooahhh. In this case it is a really big one that leaves a lot of us dealing with an anger that we are not prepared to deal with. I feel like there is only one way out of the anger and that is forgiveness.

The true spiritual meaning of forgiveness is to place it in God's hands to measure out justice. This whole experience has taught me that I have a perfect faith in God's justice. It will be just as exact as it should be, no more and no less. There is absolutely no thing that I or anyone else can do to screw up David's life anymore than he has done to himself. It is our moral obligation to make sure that he is never in a position to do this to another family ever again, thus the law of the land. It is so easy to get caught up in the anger stage of grieving. If we do then we give our personal power to David Ragsdale to destroy our lives. I for one refuse to let that man have any influence or power over me ever again. The last and most important stage of grieving is GRATITUDE. Get a piece of paper and write down all of the wonderful things that Kristy brought into your life. Don't cry because she's gone but laugh and smile because she came into your life. Now come on, admit it. Your life would not have been as colorful if Kristy has not come into it. Anger and gratitude cannot dwell in the same heart. Be as determined as I am that righteousness shall prevail in my life and the lives of my loved ones.

Just remember that we are all unique individuals and our grieving will be as unique as we are. We will all be on a different time table. That is okay and cool. God and life experiences make us all different. Just keep working at it and try to learn as much from the experience as you can.

Thanks to all of you for the amazing support you have been to my family and the boys. Some acts of kindness were huge and others may be seen as small but added all together were incredible. It has shown me over and over that my Heavenly Father knows me personally and that he inspires righteous people to action in my behalf. The timing of the service and gifts were in the very moment that I needed to know that I was loved and thought of. It was too perfect to be coincidental. It was orchestrated by a higher power. God has answered your prayers abundantly. Our lives have been strengthened and enriched by this whole process as we witness the incredible good in people..

If it has been a while since you have told your mom, daughter, best friend, spouse or children that you love them... please take my advise and do it today in memory of Kristy. You never know if it will be the last conversation you will have with your loved one so say what is in your heart and have no regrets. It is an awesome thing. Oh how I know- and I am so grateful for our last loving hours together- my Kristy and I .

Love, Mom

In Memory of Kristy

2009-01-06T11:35:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking of you all day. To me today is a great (your birth) and dreadful (your death) day. I have decided to focus on the positive and how your example has helped me. So many things are running through my mind. Most of all I’ve thought, how can I honor my friend today? Although, I have a LONG ways to go, I realized I have been doing this through out the year. I want you to know how you have helped me grow. It’s too bad it took your death as a wake up call.

In your memory I have tried to serve others more. Service has become a very important part of my life. My grandma, who I idolized, was also a great example of this. It makes me feel good to emulate you both and mostly my Savior in this way.

In your memory, I have put some fears aside and am working on developing some talents (wish they were talents), working on some hobbies that I have put off.

In your memory, I have reprioritized my life. I am working outside the home less and doing a better job of putting my family first.

In your memory, I am trying to be a better friend and express my love to those around me.

In your memory, I am loving the life I have been given. I am trying to life it to the fullest and NO MORE REGRETS.

In your memory, I hold my children longer and tighter. I spend more quality time with them. I let them, my wonderful husband, and my Heavenly Father know how thankful I am to have them in my life.

Thank you so much for all that you have taught me. Happy Birthday! I love you! I went to visit your grave today and left laughing, because I know you had to be laughing at me. I’ve had some flowers I’ve meant to drop off the last couple of months. I couldn’t believe how deep the snow was. I wasn’t exactly dressed for the 3’ feet of snow that was waiting for me. I was determined to get the flowers to your grave. With every step my brand new Tommy Hilfiger dress shoes were falling off. I was practically walking in my socks. Not to mention, falling over with every step that I had to stop and pull my shoes out of the snow. It was a quite a sight. Needless to say, I’ll be wearing snow boots next year. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is:)

Kristy's Birthday

2009-01-06T11:34:00.000-07:00

To My Sister Palizzi:

I dug up my old missionary letters, journal and pictures the other day so I could write a letter I’ve been meaning to get to for some time now… I came across a couple of letters from Kristy and it made me think of her great, quirky sense of humor and contagious happy spirit. I served with Kristy in Dothan, Alabama the end of 1999. One letter had a picture of her dressed as a nun and said: “Sister Act, No Sex. No Booze. No Men. No Way.” She sent me the letter September 2000, only three weeks from her coming home from her mission. This letter was typical Kristy, always trying to make people laugh and smile. She always was telling me how much she loved me and I knew that she did. I also could tell how much she loved everyone around her. She especially loved her family and talked about them all the time. She talked about wanting to set up her brother, Andy, with one of her mission companions. I ended up meeting Andy through another friend of mine in a BYU singles ward and felt like I already knew him. He later ended up marrying one of Kristy’s companions.

We always had a great time listening to church music and Disney tunes in our missionary car. Some of our favorites were “The Ugly Bug Ball, Tarzan”, and Hilary Weeks “He Will”. Some of her funniest moments occurred when we had cockroaches in the apartment and she would grab a can of starch and spray them stiff or she would quote the movie lines from “Steel Magnolias”. She had a great big heart for the youth in our area. We worked with a family in the ward that had a teenage daughter that was struggling with some things, and Kristy took her under her wing, talked to her, loved her and tried to help her see her potential as a Daughter of God. You could tell that this young girl really looked up to Kristy and appreciated her advice and loved her as well. She loved and respected our Mission President, President Millett and his wife, as well. She was so excited to go and see them at their homecoming when they returned home from their mission.

Kristy was always dressed nice and took time to present herself well. By the time I was finishing up with my mission, we tried converting her to wear jumpers and cotton skirts like some of us other sisters did. We always wanted to wear her clothes because she had the best wardrobe. She loved pear lotion from Victoria’s secret and every time I smell it, I think of Kristy. I loved to hear Kristy sing. Some of my favorite memories were when Kristy sung, whether it was in Zone Conference with Sister Bridgers, a baptism or even just in the car.

When she got home from her mission and she moved down to Utah, she was so anxious to set me up and find me a husband. She was always trying to set everyone up and marry them off. She always took great care of her appearance, her home and made people feel so welcome. My only regret is that I didn’t get to spend as much time with Kristy since she had moved to Utah. Kristy had a way of making everyone feel loved. I love reading about how many lives she touched. I am forever grateful I was one of them. You’ll be in forever in my heart, “Sister Palizzi”! Happy Birthday!

Crystal Hawkins Turner

2009-01-06T11:31:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking of Kristy so much lately. I can't believe she's been gone a year now. Maybe I'm being silly, but I feel like this past year has just flown by! I think Kristy is so proud of her family and friends for keeping her memory so alive, though. I know she would be so touched by how we all remember her so often...and laugh, out loud, at so many funny things she would say or do. I feel so honored to have known her.

I loved having Ann and her boys here.....even though I know how was selfish it was of me to want them to stay. I wish I would have gone to see her more often while she was here. Ann was such a source of strength for so many of us, even though it should have been the other way around. I loved getting to know her better....and I truly loved her strong-willed, fun personality. I loved the advice she would give me, and I'll never forget the times we spent talking about Kristy. I loved seeing Kristy's boys smile....and I loved the feeling I'd get in my heart that they were truly going to be OK.

It has been said many times, but I am still amazed at the dedication and love Kristy's family has shown through all this. I can't believe it's already been a year since I heard the horrible news of her death. I can still feel that shock and sadness when I remember that day, one year ago. I will never forget her funeral and feeling the overwhelming message of "forgiveness"... and being in utter amazement of that.

I have some of Kristy's things in my house right now, and there isn't a day when I see those things... that I don't think of Kristy, and how she should be enjoying them right now. I know she's busy and continuing her great missionary work...but I can still hear her voice sometimes. Maybe I'm crazy....Maybe I'm not..... But I can honestly hear her telling me sometimes to just "enjoy my kids"..... I can hear the overwhelming message to just "slow down" and "enjoy them" ....so many times. I know she'd love how they crawl up onto the table that was hers and sing a song for me. I know she'd love how they'll grab their books and want to color up there. I know she'd love how they're just having fun being KIDS. I have learned so much in the past year. I feel like I've strengthened friendships and gained some new friends because of Kristy. I feel so grateful for the blessings I have in my life....and still so sad to have lost a friend so soon. I am so grateful for the knowledge we have that we will be able to see her again. I am so grateful to Ann for spending so much time with us and letting us continue to feel so close to Kristy through her and the boys.

Happy Birthday, Kristy! I miss you, and I'll be thinking of you today.....

Love, Carrie

2009-01-06T11:30:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday. We miss you so much.

Christia

2009-01-02T08:10:00.000-07:00

It's strange how someone you have never met can have such a strong impact on your life!

I do not know Kristy or at least I never had the chance to meet her in this life. I feel however that she has made such a difference in my life the past year. As a new mother and part of a family with a history of suicide I have experienced some depression in the past year. I assume it's mostly normal, the typical baby blues. It's always difficult for me to smile once the holidays are over. I recall last year being in my blue state when I heard about Kristy. My heart ached for her family, her children, parents and in-laws too. I can't say I know how they felt but I think I can empathize with their pain after losing both my brother and father in very tragic deaths.

I logged onto this blog out of curiosity. I was blown away by the impact that one person has made in this world. She was loved by so many people. Her smile radiated and I assume would light up any room she entered. I have enjoyed reading the many stories about her and seeing all the pictures. It has made me often wonder what my blog would say. Will I leave this world with such a big footprint stamped in people's hearts? Will they remember me for my kindness, my talents, the type of friend I have tried to be?

Kristy, although you are gone from this world I know that you aren't too far away. Thank you for reminding me of what is important. Thank you for pushing me to be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend. Thank you for teaching me how important my example can be to others, even strangers. I hope one day to meet you face to face and thank you for the impact you have left on me. May you look down from above as an angel to watch over your Mother as she raises your children and continues to teach them of your love. May you continue to touch my life and others in death as you did in life. RIP

All my love,
Shar

Thankful.

2008-12-26T06:18:00.000-07:00

It's been almost a year. I moved from Lehi to the state of Florida 3 weeks before she died. I haven't been back until last week. I flew in during a snowstorm, stayed at my sister's, and drove to Lehi the next day. The entire town reminded me of her. Especially when I visited her neighbor who lives just behind her big house. Kristy was everywhere it seemed, especially when I saw the snow. I can't imagine the vivid memories of my fellow ward members who were there on that snowy day in January 2008. I couldn't get her off my mind while I was there and she was closer than she has been all year and I am thankful for that. I know she is really and truly resting in peace.

After January of this year I will no longer be accepting new blog posts. I will make the blog into a book for Kristy's parents once it's completed, so get your posts to me as soon as possible. In reflection, each post about our dear friend has sparked feelings inside all of us and I am so grateful for your input. Take some time to reflect and if you feel inspired, send me something to include in our book about Kristy.

Love,
Sarah

This Is A Favorite.

2008-12-12T14:26:00.000-07:00

A Happy Cake.

2008-11-06T07:06:00.000-07:00

2008-11-06T07:03:00.000-07:00

If you can donate any frequent flier miles, it would be much appreciated. The Palizzi family tries to get together in Washington as much as possible, especially around the holidays. We would like to help them get there.

Email me!
kristymemoryblog@yahoo.com

Helping My Daughter Through Kristy's Example

2008-11-06T07:01:00.000-07:00

I am going to have a baby in March. My only daughter is six and she has a younger brother that is 3. She was BEGGING for this baby to be a girl and we kept telling her we'll just have to wait and see. She was SURE it was a girl. Of course Daniel was sure it was a baby brother and would constantly tell Alisha that. Well, we had the awsome opportunity to get a "private" ultrasound from a friend who does them at the hospital. My friend took our little family when I was only 17 weeks along. It was OH SO A BOY and I looked over at Alisha who was fighting back tears. I quickly remembered the story told (I think by her brother) at Kristy's funeral about going into "mourning" for 3 days when she found out her mom was having ANOTHER boy and then coming out one day saying, "That's OK Mom. That just means I get to be the only princess in the family" (or something to that effect). I was able to tell Alisha how lucky she would be to still be the only princess in our family and what a wonderful big sister she would be to these little brothers of hers! As she continued to watch the ultrasound her countenance changed from being sad to being happy. When it was all over she said, "Mom, I know I said I wanted a girl but really, I want a baby boy!" She's been so excited ever since! So thank you Kristy for helping my sweet little girl through a "tough" experience in life! I miss you and wish I could hug you.

Hungry.

2008-10-21T10:39:00.000-06:00

That's our girl hammin' it up. I got a few photos that I'll post on here from time to time. If anyone has any memories from the pictures or more information the date, or other info, please post in the comments.

In other news, I am missing her a lot today.

Love,
Sarah

2008-10-21T10:15:00.000-06:00

There is no special reason it has taken me so long to write. As I sat and read the blog tonight... I felt the need to try to put into words what Kristy meant to me. Where to begin... I feel great love for Kristy and her family... you see they are how I met my husband of 12 years. It all started back in 1993 when Ann was planning a trip to Idaho to visit her sister Clea. Kristy rounded up a group of us girls to go along for the trip.... Holly, myself, Kristy, Brittany and Kennan. Words cannot describe this trip... but I know it is documented on video (as much as we hate to admit it). I will ALWAYS remember Ann having us sit in a circle on the living room floor and having prayer before we set off. After this prayer Ann looked at all of us and said that she knew that this trip was going to change our (or one of our) lives forever. Three years later I married a boy from Idaho... that just so happened to be a big friend of the Simpson family and BFF to Judd Simpson. I guess you could say that it really did change my life forever! Not only did Kristy lead me to the love of my life.... she has connected me with some the greatest people I will ever know. I am so grateful for this memory and all the many I have of her and her family.~your friend Amy Carlson

Just a Memory

2008-10-12T17:48:00.000-06:00

Today I was sitting in my living room thinking and pondering about life in general. I was thinking about family and friends of my past and some of my favorite memories. When out of the blue I just started thinking about Kristy. She is a year and twelve days older then me, and if I recall we saw each other at least once every summer of our lives. I remember a summer I was 16 years old and at the time my family was living in Idaho and of course I was being rebellious so I went to live with my aunt Judy in Ruston, Washington. I had only been there a few weeks when Kristy called me on the phone and said, 'Hey Kristen, want to come hang out with me for the day and maybe spend the night?' So I said, 'Sure, let's go'. A few hours later she came and picked me up and we went back to her house and thought of all the fun stuff we could do in one day. We made a few phone calls and got some times for movies but then decided it would be a lot more fun to take a ferry to Seattle. So she called up a few of her friends and we went to pick them up. We had a few hours before our ferry ride so we went back to the house and wouldn't you know it, Kristy said lets get dressed up and do our hair and make up. Well I didn't bring a whole lot with me so Kristy hooked me up with everything I needed. Then they put my hair in curlers and plastered my face with all this makeup. I think that day was the most makeup I ever had on my face, and I mean ever!! They took the curlers out of my hair and styled it and Kristy looked me straight in the eye and said you look like a super model. So I got up and looked and was shocked needless to say.

It was time to leave and we all piled in the car and headed to Bremerton where we caught our night ferry to Seattle. It was so pretty to see Seattle lit up when you came around the island. After the ride we drove around for a little bit singing at the top of our lungs all the primary songs we could remember. Like I Am a Child of God and Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree. That was a lot of fun. Then we went to Bellevue to see the temple. And it just so happens that there was a Young Adult dance going on at the church right next door so of course we couldn't wait to go to that to dance and flirt with all the cute boys. We had a lot of fun with that, too. After the dance we went and got something to eat and then went to a store and got a bunch of munchies and then when back to her house and watched movies and pigged out till we all fell asleep.

I really think that was one of my favorite childhood memories with her and her friends. Its really to bad we can't have fun days like that anymore but I know in my heart that when I have a fun day with something she would have loved to do then she will be there putting in her two cents and having fun too.

I love you Kristy and I'll see you again someday ... I don't know why but I really felt the push to share this memory. I don't know, maybe one of her friends who was there with us will read this and remember it and it will put a smile on their face, too.

Love Always,

Kristen :)

Late Night Dwellings

2008-09-25T16:54:00.000-06:00

Man, lately just can't that infectious gal off my mind. Actually, it's more her parents (especially Ann) that are consuming my thoughts and prayers. I fully acknowlege Al's pain in the loss of his daughter, but I sure have a soft spot in my heart for Ann. God bless you for being such a strength and ray of light and peace to Brandon and Carter. I know it's a little silly of me, but I can't help but feel so strongly for the boys I have never met. I have two daughters of my own, and if something ever happened to me, I couldn't ask for anything more than angels like you guys to care for and love my children in my absence.

It's been almost ten months, but I still cry when I come to this site, listen to the music, and pray for your family. I know it's rather cliche by now, but as I pray I know that God is with you and loving you (as am I). Please accept the love and joy that I am sending to your family through Christ. Peace be with you through all, Lael

Kristy is Still Teaching.

2008-09-25T16:48:00.000-06:00

I sang a solo in church today. My second solo ever, the first being at Jason's funeral. Jason is Kristy's cousin who passed away in August after a long battle with cancer. It's a very sad thing to be such a slow learner that it takes the loss of two loved ones in one year to force you to get over yourself and just share your testimony through song already. But hey, it's all about progress. I'm doing it now.

Still, in spite of everything I get so nervous right beforehand, sitting in the pew waiting for it to be my turn in the program. And then I get so annoyed with myself and pray that Heavenly Father will forgive my pride and help me to remember What It's All About, because guess what: singing isn't about how your voice sounds. Not really. Singing a spiritual song in a spiritual setting is about sharing the spirit. What a concept, huh?

Singing at Jason's funeral was one of the most spiritual experiences I've had in a very long time. Here's why.

Kristy was just a year my junior. She was a mother, and my contemporary and friend, and her loss was very difficult. She also had absolutely no fear of singing in public (well, she had no fear period), because she "got it." It took me forever to see that, that she got it, and that's why she was always singing at every opportunity. She loved people and she loved sharing, but I was so jealous of her courage I couldn't see it. And when she passed...she sort of let me know how ridiculous I was being, in her loving, well-intended, straight-forward way. And I vowed I'd be better. I vowed I'd get over myself and share whatever I had to share, such that it may be. And then I never got around to it.

And then Jason died. And it was really really time to get over myself. I wanted to sing at his funeral. I wanted to do something; I wanted to do it for Jason, just for him, so he'd know how much I love him. So I told everyone I wanted to sing, and they were all like, "You sing?" Heh. And I was like, "Yeah, I do. Don't tell anyone."

So I pulled out this song I was going to sing with Kristy when she was alive but I moved before we could pull it together. And I called her mom, Aunt Ann, and asked her to accompany me. And we got together and practiced. I practiced and practiced, and in the meantime, while I wasn't practicing, I was crying enough to give myself a sinus infection. So guess what happened next. Yes, I lost my voice. Not completely, just enough that you wouldn't recognize me on the phone and my voice was all husky and scratchy.

But none of that mattered. (Actually, it probably worked out for the best - I totally had that Phoebe sexy voice thing going.) When I got up to sing - after praying so hard, with Aunt Annie's lectures ringing in my ears about how the anxiety is a tool that you can use to bring yourself closer to Heavenly Father through prayer - Kristy came with me. I stood up in front of all those people and I felt her courage steal through me, that courage I'd always admired (envied) from my seat in the pews. I could almost feel her arms around me. She was right there. And I wasn't nervous, and I sang with a determination and composure that really, honestly was not my own.

That was an amazing experience. I was so thankful and exhilarated to be a participant. I knew right away I wanted to be part of that again.

I think Kristy let me fly solo today. She must have been busy. Or maybe it's that she's totally the kind of person to push the baby bird out of the nest. :-) That is so Kristy. Anyway, I did it. And it totally wasn't a perfect "performance," but I felt the spirit. And other people seemed to, also. And that is good enough for me.

Kristy's Tombstone

2008-08-14T19:42:00.000-06:00

I went to Utah this past weekend for a funeral of another cousin...of mine and Kristy's, Jason Callahan. My sisters, mom and I took the opportunity to view Kristy's gravestone. It is beautiful, I did get some photos, so will attempt to add them here. Ann and the boys were also with us. It was so peaceful there. The tombstone is beautiful. There is a place for a photo, which will be added soon. We had to force ourselves to leave, because of other responsibilities.

I have been very grateful for the opportunity lately to spend time with her boys, and see Kristy in them. They are beautiful. I know she is proud of them and her mom and dad for taking such good care of them. I know Ann appreciates every prayer made in their behalf. She has been blessed with the energy and health to care for these boys. I know she is blessed for her willingness to step out of retirement and move back into motherhood of these two young boys. But, she also knows it is doable because of the prayers and love and support.

Thank you all.

Love, Verlee

Sitting At The Cemetary

2008-08-14T19:41:00.000-06:00

Last weekend my sisters and Mom (Kristy’s cousins and Aunt) were in town so we went to see Kristy’s headstone. It is beautiful; I think it is perfect for her. We stood there for a second, we were waiting for Ann, I wanted to sit. I thought “How would Kristy feel with us sitting above her grave?” As I sat down I felt a hug, which I’m sure was Kristy. We sat and talked for quite a while, I think she loved it, that we were sitting with her and chatting, a cemetery has never been so peaceful to me.

Lori

Breaking Dawn

2008-08-09T09:11:00.000-06:00

The New Twilight Book....Breaking Dawn I know this is probably SO silly to write about....but I couldn't stop thinking about how much Kristy would have LOVED all the fun this past weekend with the new Twilight book coming out. She loved these books!! A group of us went to go eat dinner and then wait in line for our books. I talked to someone while we were planning all this....and I was telling her about how one book store was having a literal prom party the night the book was going on sale, and how crowded it was going to be. We both said that we'd rather avoid the big crowds...and "skip the prom". ha ha

I mentioned how much Kristy would love all the fun....and my friend said that Kristy would have probably MADE us all go to the prom party though. She would have LOVED it. I can just see her....all dressed up in a fun costume, eyes beaming....sooooo excited to go have FUN. I know this is SUCH a trivial thing to even write about, but I miss reading all the fun posts and memories of Kristy. I was thinking about her a lot this past weekend....and I missed her even more. I wish, with all my heart, that she could have been there with us that night. I know she's busy....doing a lot more important things right now, but I hope she knows how much she was missed.

Carrie

Kristy Helped Change My Life Forever

2008-07-29T19:35:00.000-06:00

I worked with Kristy at Wade Cook. We were really good friends and traveled to LOTS of places together. I started to go inactive when she was putting in her papers for the mission. She invited me to lunch and we had a great talk. She even spoke about our talk at her farewell - I said to her, "I want what you have. I want to be as happy as you are." That meant a lot to her because she was HAPPY. We kept in touch and after a few years, I decided to serve a mission, (with lots of encouragement from Kristy) and she was one of the only friends who came to see me off at the MTC. Since then, we had kept in touch through random emails and christmas cards, but had lost touch. I just found out tonight about our HORRIBLE loss and I am shocked and speechless. My heart is broken. She was such a special person. I love her very much and she will be more than missed.

I have attached this picture of us at the MTC - she was so proud of me. I was so grateful to her. She changed my life...

**Cara**

2008-07-29T19:31:00.000-06:00

Hello, my name is Stacy. I worked with Kristy in Seattle at Wade Cook. I just wanted to say that I think about her often. I have been fortunate enough to find her blog after I found out in late Feb. This is the only time I have felt brave enough to write. I am so excited and fortunate enough to have met such a person. It has given me such comfort to read all the memories that everyone has posted. What a beautiful woman. I read everything and wish I could be just half the woman/friend this girl has been to EVERYONE!

I have the funniest memories in my life. One is of Kristy and when I was to perform the hymlic on her. You already read it from Erica's blog. It was so hilarious that every single time I have told the story (up until last week) I laugh and cry with laughter ever time I try to tell the story. I mean I laugh so hard telling the story that I start snorting! She loved that about me. I am just so happy and excited that I have one great funny memory to tell for the rest of my life about this great woman! To share with all. I just wanted to say that I am thinking about you girl, as you know. All the time. Kristy knows every single time I am thinking about her, and every time YOU are thinking about her. Please, keep the posts coming. That is what has inspired me to write. I can't wait to hear more. Love ya girl! Your beautiful voice singing down the hall way to the bathroom, on the way to lunch, or just 'cause.

Love Stacy...

Beautiful Headstone

2008-07-22T20:00:00.000-06:00

Last week while walking in the morning with a friend, we found ourselves walking past the Lehi cemetery. I had not yet had the opportunity to see Kristy's headstone, so we wandered over to see if it had been put in place yet. It was such a beautiful and peaceful time of morning-- quiet. Some time between 6:30 and 7:00 am. The sun was shining and all I could hear was the sound of a distant sprinkler somewhere on the grounds. At first, we mistook Kristy's burial spot for another unidentified person (there was a washed out plastic tag marking the spot). In that moment it was upsetting to me that such a beautiful mother and friend was only marked with cheap plastic with no name to pay our respects (I do feel sad for who's spot it really was). And then we spotted it. It was beautiful. It was overwhelming to me just to read her name, realizing this is where her body lay to rest. This is where the cares of this world are left for my dear friend. Engraved on the back of the headstone was a beautiful poem that I believe Kristy wrote. I was overcome with emotion as the feelings of her loss resurfaced. But as I read her poem, a peace came over me and reminded me that this life truly is but a moment and that we have all of eternity to be with the people we love. It reminds me to appreciate my time here and not take any moment for granted.

I miss our talks and your beautiful voice. I miss laughing at your boldness- because I am so not bold and it never ceased to shock me! I miss how passionate you were about music and using it to touch people and invite the spirit. When we sang together, you took careful time to choose a song that would really bring the spirit. You told me that you knew it was the "right song" if you cried when you started singing it. I only wish I had that kind of tenderness towards the spirit and what music can do to invite it. You are a bundle of spunk and I miss it! I take comfort in knowing that yes, my time with you was short, but I will have all of eternity to sing and laugh with you again. I love you and miss you Kristy.

Beautiful job on the headstone Samantha!

Lots of love,
Haley

Another Tragedy

2008-07-22T19:59:00.000-06:00

Dear Family and Friends,

Kristy had a friend in her youth that she went to Seminary with. His name is Jeremy Van Gieson. He graduated from BYU and then went to Medical School. He is currently in his residency program in Michigan. Yesterday his wife and father-in-law were killed in a car accident close to Rupert, Idaho as they were traveling to Utah for a family reunion. Jeremy's three children and mother-in law were taken to the hospital, treated and released. You can find the story on KMVT.com.

I have taught piano lessons to some of the Van Gieson kids. Bishop Robert Van Gieson was our bishop for 4 years. We have been great friends with the family. I ask you to please pray for the Van Gieson and Walther families. From my experience I know that prayer helps a whole lot. Please join us in praying for these two wonder families and especially for the 3 kids.

Thanks,
Love you always,
Ann

Infectious Smiles

2008-07-22T19:58:00.000-06:00

I just want to say that Kristy truly was and is all the nice things everyone says about her. I showed up to a party in '07 at the Vangieson's home in Washington feeling very down about some things. I just strolled quietly and suddenly she saw me and she lit up with a wonderful smile recognizing me from many years prior. I could not help but to break out into a smile myself. She brightened my day with just a few moments of her very direct yet friendly talk. I just found out about what happened to her today 7/19/08 while helping do a service project helping her brother prepare to move to Iowa. I asked how was Kristy doing and he then explained. I am so happy to have known her and she seemed to me a part of heaven here on earth and my deepest sympathy goes out to her family and friends. I'm not much of a talker or writer for that matter but she deserves the effort. So Kristy thanks for all the kindness, talent, service and of course infectious smiles :)

Pajama Day

2008-07-22T19:56:00.000-06:00

Here is a photo of Kristy from one of Kristy's old coworkers, Erika. Thanks Erika! This was pajama day at the office!

From Ann

2008-07-13T20:47:00.000-06:00

Hello Everyone!

I keep saying that I am going to write-well; you can see how often I really do! So sorry. I do have some great news, finally. I get to go home to Washington and take the boys with me. We will be gone for one month. I will leave on July 11th and return to Utah on August 11th. To all you Washingtonians- stop by and give me a hug or stop by and watch the boys while I take a nap!

The boys are progressing and doing so much better. They are great little guys- lots of energy, gaining weight- sleeping well. They are doing much better than I expected. Of course I am 100% full time grandma. They really don't have to share me with work or other commitments. It is hot and dry here in Utah. Hope to find cooler weather in Washington.

Yesterday I had the neatest experience. In the morning I received a phone call saying that there would be a bus load of teenagers coming to the home in the afternoon to do service for me. When afternoon came around, here came an old school bus painted blue and white full of energetic clean cut youth. They swept out the garage and pulled weeds. The morning glory was so thick it looked like ground cover. It was 98 degrees but I did not hear one complaint or swear word for that matter. These kids were from a small town in Northeast Iowa. They had come to Salt Lake for a youth conference. Part of the week long activities to provide service. I believe there were 5,500 youth. Of course I got the very best, cream of the crop. These kids were awesome. I had 14 youth, 3 leaders and the bus driver. Thanks to you all, you are awesome. Keep up the good works.

Thanks to Jordan Meadows ward for doing the service project in May for Mother's Day. Thanks to all for goodies, flowers, service rendered and most of all love and concern. Man, Kristy really knew how to pick great friends!

Thanks to you young mothers who donated to the "get Ann into the 21st century with a digital camera" project. So thoughtful and insightful. Thanks. Now get over here and teach me how to use it. Ha ha.

Thanks to all of you for helping with the kid swap every Wed. and every other weekend. You are great. Thanks to all who provided babysitting for Brandon and Carter as I attend therapy and legal stuff. The kids love you and so do I.

I am in a very interesting situation. When I have a real need someone shows up to provide the talent or service needed. I know for a surety that God is orchestrating all this for me. I know that it is a direct result of so many people fasting and praying on our behalf. On the very worst painful days a card or letter or quilt or CD or money donation arrives in the mail to remind me of greatness of the human soul and that there are so many really righteous good people out there that are listening to the spirit. It just has to be because the timing is so perfect.

Samantha did a beautiful job designing the headstone. It is in place so if you are in Lehi stop by and see it. It doesn't have a picture on it yet but we are working on it.

Love to all and thanks a whole bunch.

Love,
Ann and
The "little boys"
Brandon & Carter

Totally Kristy

2008-07-13T20:43:00.000-06:00

I first met Kristy when I flew out for my brother’s wedding to Kristy’s good friend Holly Harris (Burbank). Kristy was helping with wedding preparations, and I must say I was a little bit taken aback by her unreserved moxy. That anyone could be that direct, somehow without causing any offense, is a gift. I quickly summed up that, to Kristy, everyone is a friend.

The day of my brother’s wedding, a fiasco happened! On the way to the reception, the wedding cake was destroyed by a pot hole in the road. It was reduced to large chunks, completely irreparable. I knew my brother would get over it quickly, but I was really sorry for Holly, because we all know brides want things perfect on their big day. What to do? Never fear, Kristy was there. She just happened to have a bag or two of cheap plastic army toys in her car (why she was carrying those around is anyone’s guess, but let’s chalk it up to inspiration). And, since my brother was commissioned in the Army, and he and Holly were leaving for his first assignment after their wedding, Kristy saved the cake situation by putting the little army guys all over the broken cake. The cake was brought out on several plates. It looked like a cake battle. It was hilarious, and totally salvaged the situation. Everyone at the reception thought it was so awesome and clever. It wasn’t the prettiest cake, by a long shot, but it was by far the most personal and creative. So thoughtful of Kristy—turning lemons to lemonade.

What a powerful spirit she is, that even after her passing, she continues to wield such an influence over those of us who are left to ponder on her shining example, and resolve to be more like her. I look forward to getting to know her better down the road. . . .

Very Sincerely,

Amy Burbank Day

Music!!

2008-06-11T19:11:00.000-06:00

Hi everyone,

Ann Palizzi has requested that anyone that has recordings of Kristy singing, to please contact me at kristymemoryblog@yahoo.com. I will then let you know where you can send these recordings! A friend of the family is going to digitally remaster the recordings and make them available.

Thanks in advance!

Love,
Sarah

Preliminary Trial Monday, June 2nd.

2008-06-01T19:24:00.000-06:00

The June 2nd hearing is at 1:30p.m. in the 4th District Court in Provo. Al and Ann would really appreciate it if those who are available can come and support her, since she will be testifying.

I hope everything is okay with you; Kristy's friends, family and neighbors across the country.

Love,
Sarah

A Moment To Think...

2008-05-30T09:03:00.000-06:00

There are moments, like today, when I think of Kristy and I am grateful for her love and example. Oftentimes when I am doing a kind deed for someone else, I think of Kristy during the last few months of her earth life. She was going through so much difficulty personally, and yet she expanded her soul, and sought to bring love and comfort to others. When I am serving someone, and I feel the love that I have for that person increase, I think of Kristy and how she magnified her womanhood and motherhood as she served others. I know that David was not the model husband, and that she was experiencing great inner pain and grief while their marriage fell apart, and yet she served those around her because she loved them. This is a great testament to me of the power of love and service. I think Kristy intuitively knew that when life got hard, her best way to cope with it was to reach outside of herself, give of herself, and find the peace and happiness that comes from service. Thank you Kristy for your example, and thank you Ann for making sure that this type of attitude and legacy continues. I think of you both often, and I give thanks to God that I know you and that we are friends. My prayers and thoughts are with you.

Service Project

2008-05-12T21:10:00.000-06:00

Saturday, May 10th, some friends and neighbors gathered together to give service and support to Kristy's mother and boys. Members of Kristy's previous ward, Jordan Meadows, organized a massive service project and the turnout was fantastic! There was landscaping done, mulch was delivered and distributed, the inside of the house was cleaned from top to bottom, and much more. A big THANK YOU to all of those who were willing to give their time. Kristy's family appreciates the weekend of help and feeling the love of everyone that loves Kristy so much!

I hope everyone had a good Mother's Day. Keep Kristy and her boys in your prayers.

Love,

Sarah

Happy Mother's Day

2008-05-12T21:07:00.000-06:00

I don't know you Kristy, but I hope you had a great day and your kids know that from Heaven you are looking after them. I know how hard it is to lose a parent in such a tragic way but as I get older I have come to realize that the lessons I have learned have been because my father died. God bless you, Ann and take care of the boys. They will need you, tell them stories everyday of Kristy. You are all in my thoughts.

Love,

Patricia

2008-05-07T11:22:00.000-06:00

I miss Kristy a lot lately. I think it's because 10 years ago, she and I were inseparable. We worked together (Wade Cook), ate lunch together (always at Azteca, Tony Romas, or Olive Garden), drove to and from work together (listening to Enya or Anastasia as loudly as we could while other commuters stared ... she loved that), shopped after work together (what 20-year-olds don't need new makeup and clothes everyday?), went to church together, sang all the time together (that was the best part)... I think we did everything together (we even attempted to exercise sometimes). I was at the Palizzi's house all the time, so much that I didn't even knock when I went in.

10 years ago, this Mother's Day weekend, Kristy and I went to the Tacoma singles ward for the first time. On Mother's Day I met my now husband. At the time, Kristy and I were just having a ton of fun and didn't realize what would come of everything. If it wasn't for Kristy, my husband and I would never have gotten together so quickly (it may have happened without her, but it would have taken WAY longer). She's the one that told him to fight for me if he wanted me (sounds dramatic, but essentially, that what she said).

I am forever in Kristy's debt. I will always remember her around this time of the year and feel thankfulness in my heart to her. She truly is one of the best friends I've ever had. I really miss her.

I probably have a million memories of things we've done together. Just thinking about it makes me sad ... but happy too. Sad she's not here to share those fun memories, happy they happened.

I know she knows how I feel. I just really wish I could "tell" her right now, but I guess this is the way to do that. I think about Kristy a lot, but in comparison to all the other stuff I have to think about, it's probably not all that much. I do, however, still consider her to be one of my best friends, she's just not here.

So, thanks Kristy for these last 10 years ... 10 years ago we never could have even guessed or fathomed our lives would turn out this way. It's strange really ... I can remember 10 years ago like it was last week. We really did have so much fun together (and wasted way too much money together too ... what were we thinking?)

You're the best!
Love, Honor

From one of Kristy's favorite young women:

2008-04-07T11:37:00.000-06:00

Kristy,
i miss u so much whenever i am temped to do something wrong, i think of you saying, "now would that be the wisest decision?" i know u would want the best for everyone and u have been a great example to everyone. i remember that one day you came to my house and was just coming to talk. you came over and helped me with my struggles and were very understanding. at times i thought you knew more about me than i did. you are my hero and always will be. i will always remember you and have you in my heart always!
i love you kristy!
love Me

Some Memories

2008-04-01T11:58:00.002-06:00

I became friends with Kristy when she and Dave lived in Country Woods, in Orem. This was before they had Brandon and Carter. In Relief Society one Sunday, Kristy stood up and announced that anyone who wanted to, meet at her town home later that week to go Christmas caroling around our neighborhood. This was the first time I had been in her home...it was immaculate, even the white carpet was spotless! As we were waiting for everyone to show up, I noticed a bunch of homemade candy she had made, sitting on her kitchen counters. I was amazed at how professional it looked, so I asked her about it. She told me she would come over to my home to teach me how to make it. She grabbed a paper and pencil and started writing down the ingredients we would be needing. She made sure I knew to buy "Ghirardelli" chocolate because it tasted the "best" and to get the "real" butter, no imitation brands would do! She showed up to my home early the morning we decided would work for both us, and we went to work making fudge, truffles, toffee, and caramels. She had so many good cooking tips on how to make it taste just right. "When you pour the fudge out of the pan, don't lift the spoon off the pan, that is what makes it taste grainy" and, "Keep stirring in a circle 8, don't stop!" Kristy was so patient and kind as she taught me her "tricks of the trade".

She was so easy and fun to talk to. We both opened up and talked as if we had known each other forever, yet this was the first time we had hung out just the two of us. She went home for lunch while the truffles chilled in the freezer, then came back and stayed till late that night to help me wrap the caramels. Kristy was a good talker and a good listener. She had a lot of good advice and insights on all the different things we talked about. The next day, I took her samples of all the candy we had made. She tasted it and gave me the nod and smile that yes, it had turned out just right! This may not have been a huge deal to her, but it meant the world to me that she would take the time to teach me this fun skill. I have been making this homemade candy ever since for family, friends, and neighbors. Not too long after, Kristy and Dave moved to Lehi. The next time I saw her she was working at the Provo Towne Mall at the Lancome counter, which carries my favorite perfume. When she found this out, she went back and poured me a sample of it in those little tubes that they give you as testers. I remember thinking how kind and thoughtful that was of her.

The last time I saw Kristy, was at the Deseret Book in the University Mall. She and Dave were on the waiting list at PF Changs and were walking around the mall due to the long wait....but what I remember most was how excited she was to tell me she was pregnant with a little boy! She was just beaming about her happy news. I didn't get to know Kristy as a mom, so it has been fun to read all of the posts on this blog that talk of her little boys. Kristy had a very unique personality that you just don't get to run into everyday, which is what makes her so special, memorable, and loved.

Take care, Heather Peck

To Ann.

2008-04-01T11:58:00.001-06:00

Hi Ann. I've been thinking about you a lot lately. You've been in my dreams along with Kristy. At the moment, I can't recall what my dreams were about, but I have been feeling a lot of concern and love for you. I know that Kristy has moved on to bigger and bolder things, but she is also by your side. I've also been feeling a lot of admiration for your character, and appreciation that I know you and that I had a chance to know Kristy while she was on this earth. I want you to know we haven't forgotten about you. As I've thought back to years past, and the interactions you and I have had over the years, I thought that I should let you know that you have been an inspiration and strength to me my whole life. I've admired you for your deep spiritual insights and faith. You have been a rock and a beacon to myself and the rest of my family. I hope you know that you are in our prayers and thoughts continuously. We haven't forgotten you, nor can we, because we miss you and love you. God Bless You.

With Love,
Emily

Kristy's Eulogy

2008-03-25T11:53:00.002-06:00

Kristy Koreen Palizzi Ragsdale was born on January 6, 1978 in Tacoma Washington to her parents, Albert and Ann Palizzi. She grew up in nearby Milton, Washington.

She already had two older brothers, Tony and Andy, and had two more follow, Barry and Kyle. Kristy was the only daughter. When Ann was pregnant with Kyle Kristy desperately wanted a little sister. They discovered Kyle was a boy through an ultrasound and Kristy was devastated. She locked herself in her room and pouted for three days. Then she all of a sudden emerged from her room happily singing, and laughing. When asked why the change of heart Kristy said she realized that with being the only girl she was the princess! And she lived accordingly!

Kristy was not the quiet and timid daughter Al and Ann expected. She was Feisty, spirited, and full of life. As much as she was, her brothers were calm and quiet. Her parents realized while she was fairly young that these traits were important for the mission she was to fulfill in her life. And she livened up their lives tremendously. Her brother Tony said “She was the life of the family”!

Her Mother said that there were times in Kristy’s life when she was like a gale force hurricane wind ripping through your life and other times when she was a gentle delicate breeze on your cheek.

The Palizzi home was always filled with kids and music. Music was an important part of Kristy’s life. She loved to sing and we loved to hear her because she had a beautiful voice. It didn’t hurt that she was blessed with the perfect accompianist always at her disposal! She was able to bear her testimony through music on many occasions.

Before and after her mission, Kristy traveled extensively for work. She was able to visit almost every State if not all. She made many close friends, and loved the adventure.

Kristy wanted to serve a mission but worried she wasn’t reverent enough. She counseled with her stake president, a good family friend. He reassured her that she wouldn’t have to be reverent 24/7 and that if she could be reverent for a few hours a day she would be fine. She decided to go, and was called to serve in the Tallahassee Florida mission. Four months into her mission Ann received a call from the Mission President on business, but mentioned to Ann that Kristy had a companion that was just like her and they “set Pensacola on fire”! Kristy worked hard and had fun while she worked. She wasn’t afraid to call people to repentance, but she also showed great love and acceptance towards all people. Her father says Kristy was always a missionary inviting investigators over for dinner after church.

Kristy made everyone around her feel like they were her best friend, because that’s the way she was. Those who knew her well know that her true best friend was her mother, Ann. They have a special bond that carries them through whatever life brings.

Shortly after her mission Kristy met Dave. They were married in the Seattle Temple on August 17, 2001. She was a beautiful bride.

They made their home in Utah County. One of her favorite jobs was working at a girl’s home. She loved the youth and helping them through life’s trials. The only reason she left was because of the birth of their first son, Brandon. Kristy always wanted to be a mother and was very excited. A few years later they had their second son Carter. Kristy’s life was devoted to her family and she loved being around her boys.

Kristy loved beauty. She loved make-up and beautiful clothes. She worked hard to create a beautiful environment in her home. We miss the beauty she created and know that she is creating beauty where she is now.

Kristy felt very blessed in her life with strong family ties and wonderful supportive friends. She knew she could endure anything life brought her because of this.
We know she would want you to know how much she appreciated and loved each of you.

The Lord gave me a gift on a week ago Friday night. Kristy was driving by my house and felt the need to stop. While there she laid her head on my shoulder, she told me she loved me and appreciated my friendship. This is a gift I will always cherish.

Kristy returned to her heavenly home on Sunday January 6th 2008 on her 30th birthday.

Kristy is survived by her Husband Dave her Two boys Brandon and Carter, Parents Albert and Ann Palizzi, Brothers and Sisters-in-law Tony and Stacy, Andy and Mariette, Barry and Christia,
Kyle, Many Uncle and Aunts, Nieces, nephews, cousins and countless friends.

Kristy lived her life to the fullest and we should all be grateful for the time we had with her.

Kristy’s life was dedicated to compassion and service. Her Mother’s greatest wish is that in her memory we follow her lead. Find someone to serve, seek out a lonely heart, make someone smile or laugh, throw a party or give a compliment.

Kristy we love you. We’ll miss you smile and laughter, your hugs and kisses, and most of all your love. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you

Thoughts of Kristy

2008-03-25T11:53:00.001-06:00

Kristy,
I was just thinking about you today. I do that quite often still. I hope that you are doing well. Each time I read a new post I am so amazed at what a beautiful & caring person you were. I was always so amazed at the thoughtful things you used to do for me & for the love that you showed me. Little did I know that you showed this same love & kindness to everyone you met. You have touched so many people's lives for the better Kristy. I know your legacy will live on through your boys. I think & pray for them often as well. I only wish I could do more for them. We love you, we haven't forgotten you, I hope that I can continue to strive to be a little more like you each day. Just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you.
Love,
Shauna Williams

2008-03-19T17:29:00.000-06:00

I only knew Kristy for a brief time, but wanted to share what I did know. I had just opened my business Dippidee in American Fork, UT. One of my first customer’s was Kristy. I remember she had just had a baby and she commented that she was trying to lose her baby weight. At first she would just look around, but that didn’t last too long before she began trying our products. She was so nice about this business that meant so much to me. She told me how Dippidee reminded her of home. She soon began buying treats to give to her friends and neighbors. She would always tell me how she wanted me to be successful and she was getting the word out that we were here.

I remember when we began doing boxed lunches she was one of the first people to buy one. She called me after she had gone home and eaten her sandwich, she let me know what was good and not so good… she just wanted me to be successful. I loved her enthusiasm and truthfulness. I wish there had been more time to get to know Kristy better. But I am so grateful that I was blessed to know her at all. I appreciate her kindness towards me and my new business. I am grateful that she wanted to help me be successful in my venture.

To Kristy’s family, I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine the hurt and pain associated with losing a child. My brother passed away a few years ago and I will never forget the image of my father crying as he protested that a parent should never have to bury their child. I pray for you to have peace.

To Kristy’s mom, as I think of ways I can help I go to Kristy’s boys. I am not sure when their birthdays are, but I would love to be able to give them a birthday cake. Please call me when the time comes so that I can give this small offering. And I would love for you to come by anytime for one of our cupcakes Kristy loved so much.

Sincerely,

Marcee

We Had Fun...

2008-03-19T17:25:00.000-06:00

I haven't talked to Kristy or seen her in 8 years. I worked with her at a company in Seattle. I always figured that Kristy and I would cross paths again one day. We had so much fun together. She made work fun. We would continuously laugh and laugh at stupid stuff. All day. That included, poking fun at people.

One of my favorite things about Kristy was while she was a bit nosey, she for the most part didn't pass judgement. At least not on me. Her favorite thing to do was to get me to cuss, and we all know that is not hard to do. She would giggle if I cursed or used profanity, which made me laugh. We were cubicle to cubicle for awhile so we shared many things. She enjoyed making fun of my new husband, of course I joined her. We used to bring our Christmas music to work and listen to it in October, annoying the crap out everyone. People would walk by and say "what! already!". We were delighted at there reaction.

Once Kristy thought she was choking on a piece of gum. (It was the real sugary kind, and you know sometimes how it can go down the wrong way and make you feel like you can't breathe, but you really can, you just have to wait until the sugar clears). Well she turned to me with a look of sheer panic on her face. In turn, panicking me. I grabbed her by the shoulders and yelled in her face, "why are you choking!!!???". I pushed her to the next person because I had no clue what to do. Well after the sugar cleared out of her throat and all the panic was over, (when she pryed herself away from the guy trying to give her the heimlic maneuver), she looked at me and laughed. "You are serious. You seriously just asked me why I was choking?" I was so embarrassed but more relieved that she was ok. Oh but don't worry in the middle of conversations she would stop and say to me right in my face, "why are you choking." It always made us giggle.

Kristy sat by my side thru my first pregnancy. I think it was her who went and bought me a dolly that resembled the size that my son was in utero at the time. I loved her. I remember when she decided to go on a mission. I was hoping that..... I don't know what I was hoping for but she called my house to tell me that she was assigned to Tallahassee. I BURST into tears. Because I knew then that we were going to go our separate ways. I was newly married and having a baby and she was doing something very important to her, growing up and serving God. Somewhere deep inside me I thought we would most definetly get back together again, with our babies and everything. Today I found out that is not the case. Kristy, I hope to get to meet Brandon and Carter again one day. And I am so sorry. It seems like they are in good hands with Grandma and Grandpa. You are a beautiful mother. Till we meet again?

Your Friend,
Erika

2008-03-16T16:18:00.000-06:00

There was a time in my life when it seems like Kristy was always around. At first she was like a little sister, but soon became a good friend, a very funny friend! She and I dated brothers at the same time. We worked at Incredible Universe together and she always made a boring day fun. I remember teasing each other with what we thought was the ugliest toy we had ever seen. It would somehow always end up in the section of the store I was working. When I had my first baby, she somehow found the ugly toy, and sent it to me as a gift for the baby!

We, of course, would sing together in church and I always seemed to be at the Palizzi's house practicing for something.

Kristy was the person to tell me my Dad had died. She came to get me at work. I think she was crying more than me. I will never forget how much she cared.

She took me with her to Idaho and introduced me to some of best people I've ever known. It was life changing for me. She helped set me up with my husband and when we first started dating, she took some flowers that he had given me and shook them up side down to look for a ring. She somehow knew we would get married. She and Ann helped so much with my wedding and they gave me a baby shower for my first baby.

Ann. You were (are) a Mom to me. I pray for you every day. I love you and thank you for all the goodness you gave to me. My heart aches every time I think about Kristy or see a picture of her. I will miss her till I see her again! Kristy you are my sister. Thank you for teaching me to love and live life and most importantly to laugh! I can't wait to see you again!

Love, Holly

2008-03-06T14:42:00.000-07:00

I wanted to thank you for posting on Kristy's blog about the dream you had last week. I thought I would share something with you that was written by Parley P. Pratt about dreams and I think it is really good. It is taken from a book that I think is out of print,"Key to the Science of Theology."

It begins with this scripture Job 33:14-16 "For God speaketh once, yea twice, yet man perceiveth it not. In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falleth upon men, in slumberings upon the bed; then He openeth the ears of men, and sealeth their instruction."

Text..."When the outward organs of thought and perception are released from their activity, the nerves unstrung, and the whole of mortal humanity lies hushed in quiet slumbers in order to renew its strength and vigor, it is then that the spiritual organs are at liberty, in a certain degree, to assume their wonted functions, to recall some faint outlines, some confused and half -defined recollections, of that heavenly world and those endearing scenes of their former estate from which they have descended in order to obtain and mature a tabernacle of flesh. Their kindred spirits, their guardian angels, then hover about them with the fondest affection, the most anxious solicitude. Spirit communes with spirit, thought meets thought, soul blends with soul, in all the raptures of mutual, pure, and eternal love."

.."In this situation, the spiritual organs are susceptible of converse with Deity or of communion with angels and the spirits of just men made perfect."

"In this situation, we frequently hold communication with our departed father, mother, brother, sister, son, or daughter; or with the former husband or wife of our bosom, whose affection for us, being rooted and grounded in the eternal elements of issuing from under the sanctuary of love's eternal fountain, can never be lessened or diminished by death, distance of space, or length of years."

"With what tenderness of love, with what solicitude of affection will they watch over our slumbers, hang about our pillow, and seek to communicate with our spirits, to warn us of dangers or temptation, to comfort and soothe our sorrow, or to ward off the ills that might befall us, or perchance to give us some kind token of remembrance or undying love!"

I find this very comforting. Perhaps Kristy was trying to let you know she is alright. Interestingly too, I think that one of Kristy's ancestors is Parley P. Pratt. And to think he wrote such beautiful words about dreams.

-Shauna

I'll Hold You Again

2008-03-05T19:48:00.000-07:00

I am posting this on behalf of Ann who wanted this touching and insightful song shared with everyone. It gives comfort, and it bears testimony.

It was President’s Day and Ann felt like she hadn’t had adequate time to just sit and to just cry and to just “be” - between running here and there for everyone and everything that was going on since January 6th. She had some time to herself on this day, and decided to go through Kristy’s music. She does this a lot when she needs that extra closeness with the Spirit and her daughter. Sleeping at night was nigh unto impossible at times and that is another reason why this song is such a gift. I think I speak for everyone in saying “Thank you, Ann, for sharing this with us. It helps - and we love you, and miss her, too.”

This song was written by Kristy shortly after her mission.

I’ll Hold You Again

I need somebody to hear me and feel
My pain so deep and so real.
I cannot carry this weight on my own.
How can you really be gone.
Why can’t I wait for this night to pass?
Please, close my eyes, help me sleep.
Lord, hold me near,
Please, wipe away my tears.
Why am I hurting so deep?

I want to hold and feel you again.
Instead I smile through my pain.
I lay in bed and I see your face.
I’m praying for the Lord’s grace
Lord, hear my cry, I can’t go on.
Please, let me feel your hand.
Please, give me strength through
Your arms so strong.
Give me the courage to stand.

Then He speaks to my heart and
I hear His voice so soft and clear
“Mocked and stripped, on the cross
I bled your tears I’ve already shed.
Alone in the garden I drank the cup
I knelt in prayer for your pain.
On the cross I was lifted up.
So you could return, I was slain.”

His love encircles my heart and soul.
His spirit makes my life whole.
His life is my source of comfort and peace.
His arms bring sweet release from pain
And I know I’ll hold you again.
I’ll wait, then hold you again.

By Kristy Palizzi Ragsdale

My Best Friend

2008-02-28T09:45:00.000-07:00

So I woke up this morning from a dream and I was crying. I haven't done that in a LONG time. In my dream I was talking to Ann and Kristy, and Kristy was herself, but different. She was a new Kristy, one that I knew had been gone. I was asking her questions about her new life, and she was answering them, with Ann's help. Then we went to a party with a ton of people (which may be just one of those weird dream things that really has nothing to do with the actual dream) At some point I was walking Kristy to a car and she was telling me that she had to go and I couldn't come. I was really sad. I said, "but you're my best friend." and she said, "I know .... but I still hear you when you think nice things about me." and then I woke up.

Okay, I woke up crying which I thought was weird, because I haven't necessarily been thinking a TON about this lately. I mean, I think about Kristy all the time, but I felt like I was over the crying part. Guess not. My point in writing this here is that I really think it takes a lot of time to completely grieve for a person. and I truly believe that the Kristy from my dream that told me she can hear me when I think nice things about her is real. I think that Kristy can know the good feelings we have for her. So I have decided that I can still think about her all the time, and she can feel those feelings, and I may not be able to "see" her, but she's here. Just not here, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, I was really writing this mostly for myself. Thanks.

Honor

2008-02-26T08:48:00.000-07:00

Kristy, let's just talk for a minute about how only a few days after your NECK SURGERY you came to Enrichment night. Your mom drove you and reminded you that you probably shouldn't be going out quite yet, but you were insatiably social!! I walked up to you and you were in line getting a little bit of food, and you could barely turn your head! Your eyes were all glazed over. I told you a couple of things about the upcoming week, and told you what day were we going to come to your house to see you. It was good to see you there, but something was just not quite right. Maybe she hasn't had enough rest?, I thought..

The next day I called you, to see how you were doing. After all, you did have a big slice in your neck that didn't look too fun. After a few minutes, I realized that you did not recall anything about the previous night at Enrichment! Our whole conversation just went right in one of our ears and out the other. Then you laughed and boldly explained to me that you were "hyped up on drugs" (painkillers from surgery), and couldn't remember much! We both had a good laugh (a good mormon girl laugh) and I told you I was glad to finally know what Kristy Ragsdale was like on drugs!

I miss you little girl.

Still Missing You

2008-02-18T12:41:00.000-07:00

Kristy,

I’m still missing you (of course), but tonight I’m feeling it more than usual for some reason. Sometimes I think I’ve gotten my brain around the fact that you’ve moved on to bigger and better things, but sometimes it hits me so fresh: I can’t believe you’re gone. And then it hurts so much and I have to cry all over again, which feels so selfish, but I don’t know how to not be sad that you’re not on vacation, you’re not visiting some remote location, it’s not that your phone is out of order. You’re really gone.

And I want to say: that sucks.

I wonder about your perspective up there in heaven and what you’re thinking about and how you’re involved in our lives still, especially on behalf of your boys. I’m sure you know how it all works out in the end. We’re still struggling to have faith and ride out all the difficulties and challenges of living in this world of free agents. I wish I could borrow some of your perspective. Help me out, okay?

Miss you!!

Love,
C.

Something From Brandon...

2008-02-17T11:52:00.001-07:00

"Grandma let me see the computer tonight. I saw mommy's picture and she's beautiful. I love my mom."

A Short Message

2008-02-16T09:07:00.000-07:00

Last night after the boys went to bed, I sat down and looked through Kristy's mission pictures. It impressed me that she had so many pictures of families she worked with and baptized. There was a look on her face of pure love and joy as she had her arms around the parents and especially the children of these families. I know she loved those families so deeply. And then there were her silly pictures, smiling, doing funny things, arriving at the Elder's apartment (with a grin on her face). Kristy always appeared to be playing, but in reality, she was always getting a lot of work done. Looking at the pictures, you would think she was playing her whole mission because the look on her face was full of pure fun! But when she was pictured with the famlies she shared the gospel with, her face was full of true genuine love. It helped to stabilize me, and brought joy to my heart. She loved people SO MUCH.

Love,
Ann

2008-02-16T08:38:00.000-07:00

Dear Kristy-

I'm sorry I haven't written sooner. It still hurts - and I miss you.

I guess you know by now how loved and admired you were and still are. I think what I will miss the most is your beautiful sparkle and brave determination to do everything in your power to give your boys the best they deserved. You must have had the weight of the world on your shoulders, but you were so concerned about others more. You always strove for the best but were kind and thoughtful to everyone you met. Sometimes I saw the pain you silently bore - and my heart ached. I still wish I could have helped you more. But in those last days, I take great comfort in knowing that you felt peace, that you knew you were being watched over and protected. I hope you know how many friends were thinking of you and praying for you.

I am so glad you have your mother - what a strength and support she has been to so many. She is my new hero. That she could be with you those last days, and that you are with her now as she cares for your dear, sweet boys - I know now that there is always hope that can come out of a tragedy. The Lord does pour out his tender mercies on those who need it most. I know your parents will do everything they can (and then some) to give Brandon & Carter the love and protection that you desire for them. They did such a good job with you. In Ann's eyes, I can see where you got a lot of your inner strength and beauty. You were taught righteous principles and lived them despite so much adversity. I admire you more than you know for that. You never gave up - you always pressed forward - trying to help as many others as you could your short time here.

I hope your sweet boys always know how important they were to you - and how brave and true and strong you were in your testimony of the Gospel. I hope they know that you did everything in your power to the live the kind of life so that you could be together forever. Maybe for this short space on earth, you are temporarily separated - but you will see them again. You will be able to kiss, hold, love, and sing to your beautiful boys again. I hope I can be there for that wonderful reunion. Can I be invited on that day? How about if I promise to go to choir practice more? (Is it too late to apologize for slacking and not going as much as I should?) BTW - Thanks for letting me come over and be taught the alto part at your piano when I couldn't come to practice. You were always so good like that. You had such gifts and were so willing to share them...

I strangely also miss your no-nonsense blunt honesty - those comments that are supposed to be compliments but kind of feel like an insult instead. I know you worried about offending people - but I secretly enjoyed it. 'Cause everyone knew where they stood with you. You were sincere and full of integrity and always meant the best. We all knew it. Most importantly, you never shied from bearing your testimony or lifting another. From day one until the very end. That's one thing I will definitely take from you - is to not hold back. To not hesitate to act or say the beautiful or truthful thing that needs to be said. To be led the Spirit and live life to the fullest.

I'm glad we were friends. 'Til we meet again, dear Kristy...

Love, S.

Kristy

2008-02-15T13:18:00.000-07:00

I don’t know why it has taken me so long to write something, I guess just stunned.

I was not close to Kristy, but my family (the Allan's) have always been close to her family and I have memories of her throughout my entire life. She was so beautiful and outgoing and never afraid of anything. I have read many times over that I am not the only one who remembers her this way. I just wanted to let you all know how deeply sorry I am for the loss of Kristy. She has touched so many lives.
Ashley

2008-02-15T11:13:00.000-07:00

Hi all,

If you have any "skymiles", or flight vouchers, or flight credits, they are greatly needed for Kristy's family. Email me at kristymemoryblog@yahoo.com if this is something that you could donate.

Also, a reminder: if you are looking for a way to help the Palizzi's, we have set up a fund for them via Bank of America. The information is on the left-hand sidebar. Let's help them out if at all possible.

Thanks again and have a good weekend.

How Long?

2008-02-14T18:17:00.000-07:00

How long does it take for a wounded heart to heal?
How long before I allow myself to feel?
It's easier to stay busy, with all the tasks at hand,
than to acknowledge the truth where your soul now stands.
I know i'll be with you again, and that this isn't the end.
I feel guilty for missing you so much, after all I was just your friend.
Your family, your children, they need you so much more than I
But still I can't help the tears my soul still wants to cry.
I know that to honor you, I must serve with all my heart
I'll try to remember that and try to do my part.
All you did for others, you couldn't know meant so much more,
a special soul sent to us where your love could pour.
So many have treasures, of days you came and went
a memory greater than gold, where a moment of your life was spent.
I wish I would have stopped by more, picked up the phone to chat.
But no regrets, we got our chances where in my backyard we sat.
I'll always try to honor your life by doing what you did best,
Loving unconditionally and showing it without regrets.

I'm thinking of you today, on this day we celebrate Love. I love you and miss you.
Erin

Care Package

2008-02-12T11:45:00.000-07:00

Some members of Kristy's Jordan Meadows neighborhood were kind enough to put together a care package for Brandon and Carter. This was a great act of service and sacrifice, and we would like to thank them over and over again for this gesture! The neighborhood donated toys, diapers, gift cards, clothes, activities for the boys, and more!

They spent a lot of their own money and time, and additionally were able to receive donations and gift cards from businesses. We would like to thank the following businesses that donated in Brandon and Carter's behalf.

Chuck E Cheese's @ Orem
Dinosaur Museum @ Thanksgiving Point
McDonalds @ Lehi
Kiddie Kandids
Gandolfo's @ Draper
Boondocks
Walmart @ American Fork
Hollywood Video @ American Fork
Cinemark
Smith's
Toy's R Us
Nancy Olsen @ Dyson Hair Studio in American Fork
Music by Karyn Grant

Thank you everyone that knew Kristy and those of you who did not know Kristy and gave so much time and money.

A lot of you have mentioned to me that you have not had the time to sit down and write about Kristy. I urge you to set aside a few minutes, no matter how few they may be, and email me your thoughts so we can keep reading new experiences about Kristy. It has helped all of us so much.

Thanks and Love,
Sarah

2008-02-07T08:29:00.000-07:00

On Sunday January 6, I looked into the face of evil as I witnessed the horrific death of my daughter. As a person who has always tried to deliberately shun evil in my personal life, it was such a wound to my soul. My very soul is bruised. It made me wonder if the whole world was headed to hell in a moment.

The sweet outpouring of love and concern is so healing on so many levels. During the weeks that followed, people commented that I was so strong as I was comforting others. As individuals we can look upon a situation and think that we know what we are seeing. It appeared that I was the strong one doing the comforting, when in reality I was taking from everyone that I hugged or touched. Every person was there because they had genuine love for Kristy and her family. I was drinking in expressions of love in its purest form, without guile or judgement. I literally was wrapped in the arms of righteousness as you hugged me. So many acts of kindness and service are so profoundly healing.

I am so amazed at the level of goodness and righteousness throughout the world. Whether you are of the same religious faith or not, you are by your very acts and deeds taking a stand for values that are right and true. This has gone a very long way in restoring my faith in humanity in this world. Yes, there is evil, but there is also righteousness flooding the earth.

It had appeared that Kristy was living the charmed life. She had a beautiful home and furnishings, cute clothes, etc. But in reality she was living a life of quiet desperation in her own emotional turmoil and pain. I ask you to be not quick to judge, but take the time to look a person in the eyes and listen to what their eyes tell you. Sometimes it only takes a huge or a smile to bring comfort to a person that is so very beaten down and is so desperately emotionally tired.

You are such totally awesome people. I want to adopt you all as my daughters. I would be so proud to be a mom to each of you. Of course that is not possible at this time as my life is now filled with little boys! Each of you have touched my life in a very profound way. I love you all for it. We will meet sometime and when we do, introduce yourself and give me a hug. My prayer for each of you is that God will allow you to have a glimpse of who you really are. And that you will come to a strong understanding of the great strength that is inherent within you. What a mighty force for good you are and will continue to be in your communities. YOU GO GIRL!!

Love,
Mom.

It Seems Like Yesterday

2008-02-06T20:55:00.000-07:00

Time does keep marching and my feelings are still so fresh. I can hardly believe it has been one month and there is not one day that passes that I don't think about Kristy, her boys, her family. I had a hard time sleeping last night as I lay in bed thinking about her. I still can't wrap my brain around it. I am sad I cannot think about seeing her when I visit Washington or Utah. She was truly someone special.
-Shauna

2008-02-06T09:54:00.000-07:00

Dear Kristy,

Today marks a month since your death, and I have had such a hard time last night and this morning. I don't know if that makes me completely selfish....but I still can't believe you're actually gone. I think of you all the time, and I know you're so proud of all the wonderful and funny memories people have of you. We all love to talk about you....and remember you. It feels so good to laugh at something completely silly you said or did. I know you would love that.

I was getting my hair done one day, and I was sharing a story about you, and I started to cry....and then I looked in the mirror and I could have sworn I heard you say (in my head...) "Go home and put some make up on, and you'll feel soooo much better!!" Maybe I'm going crazy, but it just made me laugh.

I miss you, and I hope you know that all of your friends will keep your boys and your family in our prayers. They will always be loved and cared for, I promise. We all wonder what we can do....and I truly believe that you would want that. You would want your boys to always feel special and loved. You have an amazing Mom, and it has given me such a good feeling to know she is taking care of them and loving them. They will always know how unique and truly special their Mother was.

Today I am going to eat a Dippidee cupcake ....and think of you! I'm on a diet, but I'll skip that, and eat it in your honor. ha ha! I know you loved those, and there isn't a time I go there, that I don't think of you! We all love you, and miss you more than you know.

A Special Thank You

2008-02-03T22:20:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone,
I wanted to send a special thank you to everyone who made the memorial service in Washington such a special and uplifting experience. It was wonderful. From the choir, to the speakers, to the fantastic job the relief society did putting on the luncheon afterwards, it was very appreciated.
I also wanted to share with you all the lyrics of a song that helped me when my dad died. I would send an MP3 for everyone to listen to, but I only have a cassette. I know that Kristy was a big Kenneth Cope fan and this is one of my favorites by him. It is from the Voices album. The song is titled: "I'm Alright."

I'm Alright
Death comes and quiets life
It was hard to accept for the longest time
And it still can make you cry
Love brings a sad goodbye
And it’s harder on those who get left behind
But if you could see through clearer eyes
You’d find I’m alright I’m right where I ought to be
But this is so hard for me
Knowing it’s hard on you
Dry your eyes
We’re right where we ought to be
Be still and you will know
It’s alright
Please try to understand
My coming here was in His plans
But you can seal what we began
Give him your hand
Soon we will be together
Though the waiting seems like forever
Without you We’re alright
Right where we ought to be
Be still and you will know
It’s alright

Even though we all miss Kristy, perhaps this song will help make things a little easier.
Ean Paget

All My Love

2008-02-03T11:06:00.000-07:00

Palizzi Family,
My heart aches with you for the loss of Kristy. Though I hope to never have to feel the extreme extent of the sorrow and pain that you feel, I will learn from your strength and example. I lay awake at night and go over and over in my mind what thing I might be able to do to help your family in this time of need. I want what is best for Brandon and Carter, as I know you do. I am sorry for all the opposition you are facing in trying to achieve this. People can be so deceitful. I try to remind myself that there is a purpose in everything, though I struggle to see it sometimes. I try to rely on my faith that has sustained me in the past, though I may feel weak from time to time.
I pray that people will look to this blog for uplifting encouragement. I think that I can help you do what you know is best by donating at Bank of America, to give you the means to do what Kristy would want. I hope I can encourage others to do this also. If any good is to come of this tragic situation, we need to help "untie" your hands so that you can do all with in your power to care for your family.
I will never forget Kristy and I will strive to be a better person because or her example and your continuing good example of Christ-like attributes.
All my love,
Dana

2008-02-02T18:38:00.000-07:00

I have had many a sleepless night since Kristy's death. My heart has ached for the Palizzi family. They are constantly on my mind. They have had to deal with such sorrow and hardship and it is continuing on. I am so grateful this fund has been set up. It will be something I can do to help this family with the challenges they are facing. Perhaps it will help me sleep a little easier at night.

Palizzi Fund

2008-02-01T16:41:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,

A fund has been set up for the Palizzi family!!

This will go specifically to costs that have accrued for the Palizzi family since Kristy's death. I'm sure there are many costs involved in living out of state. These costs are greater than we can all imagine! This fund has been set up by friends of the Palizzi family in Washington.

In this time of confusion and sorrow, we hope to clarify a way to get money directly to the Palizzi family. I also know there are so many of us that want to help any way we can. This is a great way to donate directly to Kristy's family and know exactly where the money is going.

Palizzi Fund
Bank of America
628 Meridian East
Milton, Wa. 98354

There are no Bank of America branches in Utah, it may be more convenient to mail directly to the bank.
(Set up with approval of Al and Ann Palizzi).

In Loving Memory

2008-02-01T12:41:00.000-07:00

I am so grateful to have found this blog to be able to express my deepest sympathy not only to the Palizzi family but to others whom Kristy touched, through friendship or example, or the countless other ways that she has effected so many of us.
I grew up in the same ward with Kristy and we were in young women's together. We were blessed with Sister Jacobson as our Y.W. president and her fine example of what true fine LDS women are to become. Kristy stepped up to that example and magnified it beyond comprehension. I will forever love Kristy and the memories of driving back and forth to Utah for Spring Break, the fun we had, the music we would sing at the top of our lungs, the games we played, the laughing and the deep conversations that we would somehow ALWAYS get into. We had many opportunity's to share with one another our love for the gospel and love for all of our Heavenly Father's creations. She always had a way of making me want to be a better person. I am a good person don't get me wrong but, with Kristy the bar was always just a bit higher. I am grateful for the times we were able to spend together as our mothers would go over stuff that pertained to their callings and serving together, or because they were friends and spent time together so Kristy and I got to spend time together too. I think I felt connected to Kristy partly because that is just Kristy, but also because we both are the only girls in families of boys. I always loved to hear her laugh and her dark eye's full of hope, full of love, full of passion for life. I am still having a difficult time dealing with the tragic way of her leaving us, yet take comfort in KNOWING I mean really KNOWING that she has returned home to our Heavenly Father and our Savior with Honor and walks with the best of the best. On January 6Th one of the Lord's angels fell, back into his arms, and is now back to work doing his work..there really must be some really important things to be done for her to have gone so suddenly. Thank you Kristy for all the memories, for all the fun, for all the laughs and tears and for inspiring me to be a better person. Most importantly Thank you for NEVER judging me but for looking deeper than the surface and "really getting me" even though younger and wiser than me and a lot of the other girls in Y.W. You "got me" better than anyone I can think of in our little ward, and I have always loved you for that. You are my friend forever and I will do my part to continue your legacy...till we meet again!
Your big sister (as you so lovingly dubbed me)
Sister Sherry Brunette (Adams)

2008-01-30T20:01:00.000-07:00

As I was sitting and thinking about everything that has happened in the past month I had a beautiful picture enter my mind. I could see Kristy up in heaven getting together a choir for the homecoming of President Hinckley. Making sure that everything was going to be done perfectly! Can you imagine how wonderful it must have been to see the reunion of our wonderful prophet and his dear sweet wife? And I am sure that the choirs were singing so beautifully. My life has been changed this past month for the better. As I sat at the testimony meeting and listened to those who loved her so much tell of all the amazing things she did, I realized how much more I can do in my life. I never really got to know Kristy well. I was in her parent's ward and have become so close to their family. My husband grew up with all of them and I have heard so many classic stories. :) I am so thankful for the example that she is to everyone around her. While my husband and I were trying to decide which route to go to start our family, Ann said that Kristy could throw together a fundraising concert and raise money to help us do invitro. Although we went a different route... I am very thanksful for the thought and how wonderful, caring, and willing she was to help. She would do anything for anyone. To the Palizzi family... it was wonderful seeing you again. We have missed being up in Washington. We are praying for you and love you very, very much.

Bridget Hutchings

2008-01-30T13:35:00.000-07:00

Kristy was such a sweet person!! I wish I had gotten to know her a little bit better though. I watched her boys for her for a few months. She was always full of compliments and always had good things to say about people. I am sure that through this awesome blog and through her family that her memories will stay strong in her boys life!! Kristy was always so concerned with her boys well being and happiness and I know that she will be watching over them forever!! May this SAD event be a leson to all of us that life sometimes gets cut short and that we need to live each day as though it is our last! Take the time to see even the small things.

How to put into words...

2008-01-29T22:32:00.000-07:00

I have known and loved Kristy for years, but didn't realize how important she truly is to me. The depth of my feelings for Kristy are such that I can't appropriately put them into words. I have had the privilege of being close to her since we were 18 and continued to live close to her since. There are so many beautiful words that have been posted about her here, that I can only echo. It was so strengthening to attend her memorial service in Washington and be reminded that she is still so close. I love you Ann and I love you Kristy, more than I can say.

Shannon (Haynie) Moeck

Kristy has touched a lot of people!

2008-01-29T14:02:00.000-07:00

Can you believe the amount of people Kristy has either touched while she was here on earth or who she is touching now? Check out the ticker map to the left, under the blog archive. Almost 13,000 people have visited this memory blog for her. You can hardly even see the U.S. anymore, and there are hits from all over the world! She would be so pleased. Even more pleased if it happen to spark someone's interest in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints from the life she lived. What a tribute. You rock, Kristy!

~Mel

Inspiration

2008-01-28T19:51:00.001-07:00

"It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don’t worry. I say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers."

-Gordon B. Hinckley
(from the funeral of wife Marjorie)

For Kristy

2008-01-28T18:36:00.001-07:00

I didn't know Kristy, but wish I had. I like Kristy say what's on my mind, only I constantly wish I hadn't. I put myself down for being so bold, intrusive at times, demonstrative and always giving of myself to rescue others. I always feel so much empathy for others, I take on their pain. After reading these beautiful messages, I am making a promise to myself that it's OK for me to be me. Although some may have a hard time being around someone who is so demonstrative, open and full of energy, and out spoken, long after they are gone, everyone loves her for being just the way she was. Thank-you Kristy and friends for bringing me to this place in my life when I am still on this earth. I also have little ones and my highlight is putting them to bed each night. I love to sing to them, read to them, and pray with them. I am most sorry that Kristy has been taken from them, they will remain in my prayers. I am also sorry her parents, siblings and girlfriends will live the remaining portion of this life without Kristy. I now believe everyone needs a Kristy in their life, and I am happy to be that person to those in my circle.

2008-01-26T12:20:00.001-07:00

I was really missing Kristy today. I was picturing her essence, her dark hair, white skin, the way she smiled, the way Carter toddled around right at her knee, the way her patient voice said, "Brandon", over and over.
I just sit here, 20 days later, not quite able to believe this really happened. How she could be taken off this earth so quickly, so shockingly? She's taken from our lives, this vibrant woman, in a moment. We blinked and she was gone. What a tragedy. I've tried to push it from my mind day by day. Today it came around full circle. She's really gone. No amount of time will soften it. No amount of time will help me look on this event and be able to understand. I will still be confused about how someone could use a gun and take a girl, take a mother, a friend and a daughter.
She did so much, but she could have done so much more in her life as a 30-year old, a 40-year old, a 50-year old woman. Touched thousands upon thousands more. My hope is the only thing that helps me sleep. I know that there's a life after death. And I know she's living that now. But it's still so hard some days.

Precious Savior, Dear Redeemer

2008-01-22T07:51:00.000-07:00

Hi, my name is Tamma Miles. I’m Cynthia Perry’s sister-in-law. She just sent me this tragic news. I used to work at the National Domestic Violence Center, so my thoughts turned immediately to comments about abuse. But I realized that even the most informed remarks would do nothing to comfort the sorrowing. So I’ve turned to my love of music. I hope you won’t find this cliché, but appreciate my feeble but well intentioned attempt to 'mourn with those who mourn.'

Precious Savior, dear Redeemer,
Thou wilt bind the broken heart.
Let not sorrow overwhelm us;
Dry the bitter tears that start.
Curb the winds and calm the billows;
Bid the angry tempest cease.
Precious Savior, dear Redeemer,
Grant us everlasting peace.

Precious Savior, Dear Redeemer, Hymn 103(LDS), 3rd vs.

I know that our Savior has the power to comfort all those that sorrow.

Kristy's Memories

2008-01-22T07:48:00.001-07:00

It has taken me this long to be able to compose myself enough to be able to write this. Kristy was one of my very best friends, and I hope that she knew how much she meant to me. We first met about 10 years ago, while working for the same company in Seattle. At first, I didn't really care too much for her; she was just too much energy for me and I misunderstood her inquisitiveness as being "nosy". Soon, she went away on her mission and I didn't really give her too much thought until about two years later when she came back to that same company looking for a job, working for me of all people. When she came in for the interview, I really had no intention of offering her the position. But something happened in the 20 minutes or so that we were talking and we touched on a subject that brought us both to tears. Needless to say, I hired her . . . Over the next nine months or so, we discovered how much we had in common; namely, a twisted sense of humor. In addition, one of the things that made our close friendship a little unconventional was the fact that I am not a member of the LDS church. Kristy would joke and say , "Oh, well . . . I guess I'll love you anyway". She willingly answered all of my questions and never once tried to "convert" me; she only said that if I ever wanted to talk about it that she would be there for me. She would laugh at my aversion to be "touchy-feely", and chase me around trying to give me a hug. After she & Dave married, and moved to Utah, we lost contact for a couple of years. I tracked her down through her mother (Thank You Ann!), to discover that she had just given birth to sweet Brandon only 9 weeks earlier. She came to Seattle that same month to visit her family and we were able to see each other. You could say that since that reunion, we became inseperable (by phone, anyway). Since my son was born three years ago, I have looked forward to each Spring when we would fly down to Utah and stay with Kristy for a week. We would have so much fun just taking the kids to the park, shopping, and most of all hanging out on her humungous sofa, watching movies, SNL DVD's and stuffing our faces with junk (Thank the Lord for Dippidydoo!). The only thing I didn't look forward to was the 5-7 pounds I would gain after staying with her . . . At her funeral in Lehi, I listened to so many people speak of how wonderful and giving she was; what a beautiful voice she had and what a true friend she was to so many people. I loved those things about her as well, but mostly I loved her ability to be painfully honest, horribly disgusting, yet graceful and dignified at the same time (if you can imagine such a thing). Kristy's friendship was a precious gift that I will always treasure, and I am so proud to be able to say that I was her friend. I Love and Miss You So Much!

-Sarah M.

2008-01-21T06:30:00.000-07:00

I went to school with Kristy from Kindergarten through the 9th grade. She has an amazing smile and a knack for telling things like they were. I have remained in contact with one of her close friends and was so sad to hear what had happened. I joined the church almost 11 years ago, but Kristy's memorial was the first LDS memorial service I have ever attended. The spirit was strong there. I usually cry at almost anything, but I felt so much peace in that room. My eyes did fill with tears as Honor sang and Ann played the piano. I remember seeing Ann at the piano many times during our elementary school years. I was amazed by that moment. I have a calling as our Relief Society music leader. It is a calling that I was in no way suited for, but have learned to love. As I was driving the hour to the memorial service I found a quiet moment and felt prompted to sing "Love One Another." When I looked at the program and read Ann's message I didn't have to think another moment about what our music appreciation song would be and why. Today as I stood up to share that moment, I talked about Kristy and the legacy of service and love she left behind. I read Ann's message to my fellow sisters and urged them to follow it. As we sang "Love One Another" the spirit was very strong in the room and many sisters had tears in their eyes. The messages of love, hope, forgiveness and charity are a sweet legacy that Kristy has left with us. When we live those principals we follow and honor our Savior. I am glad to say I knew Kristy. Our family continues to pray for those she loved and those who loved her.
Brianna (Mosebach) Keith

A Dear Friend

2008-01-20T21:23:00.001-07:00

Two weeks ago Kristy was taken from us. I think about her so many times everyday. I have lived across the street from Kristy for 2 years. We didn't start to really become friends until about 4 months. My husband and I had been trying to sell our house, but decided to take our house off the market. Kristy was driving by and stopped to ask if we sold our house. She was so excited that we weren't moving and said that we should get to know each other better since I was staying. I'm so happy that she reached out to me, or we probably wouldn't have become such good friends. Not long after that, Kristy was sitting in front of me during Relief Society. After the opening song she turned around and said, "You have such a great alto voice, you have to be in the ward choir." She didn't give me much of a choice, so I've been in it since. Today at our ward choir practice, Sister Nylander was commenting on how wonderful we sounded at Kristy's funeral. She said that we had some angels singing with us. I said that Kristy must have done some recruiting for us. I miss singing with her. At Kristy's viewing I told Ann about a conversation Kristy and I had about how our mothers were so wonderful. I had told Kristy that she was lucky to have a mother who would come and stay with her to help her through such a rough time. I told her my mother would do the same thing. We talked about how we had the best moms. I will miss our long talks, listening to her great mission stories and testimony in Relief Society, and her friendship. I know we will see Kristy again. I love and miss you Kristy!

Carrie B.

Goodbye Kristy- til we meet again!

2008-01-20T10:55:00.001-07:00

Dear Kristy,

Today is January 19th 2008, almost two weeks since your 30th birthday. I don’t know if you remember the last time we saw each other. It was the night that the 3rd book in the Twilight series was released and they were sold out at all the book stores but Costco had an some so you bought an extra copy for Ally and I stopped by to pick it up. If you’ll remember I came into your house and you showed me around and I was jealous of your TV. You did a great job of decorating your house, it was very nice. Little did I know that would be the last time I would see you in this life.
So, anyhow, I wanted to write this letter to let you know how your passing onto the next life has affected me. As you are probably aware many people have written many wonderful things about you on this blog and I just wanted to pass along my personal thanks for how you lived your life when you lived by us. I don’t believe I fully appreciated your personality, or maybe more appropriately your character and it is unfortunate that this had to happen before it finally hit me. I guess at the same time it is better late than never eh?
There are so many things I think I can write about you and how you live your life and I could try and emulate you in so many ways but let’s be honest we both know that it aint going to happen; it just isn’t in my nature to ask a lady if her boobs are real. ;-) I am just teasing ya Kristy; you know how that filter sometimes isn’t working.
But seriously, one thing I am going to try really hard to do is simply smile and say hello more often to people I don’t know. I promise that I will try to get to know people better and work harder at learning how I can help those who stand in need of comfort. That is the one thing that impresses me the most about you; you are always willing to be friends with anyone, regardless of their station in life. In that regard you have no filter and I want to be like that.
One last thing, you remember that blue dress you gave Boo? I remember when you gave that to her and you told Ally that it was your favorite dress when you were a little girl and you wanted Brenna to have it. I remember thinking to myself, “well if that was your favorite dress why would you give it away, why wouldn’t you give it to your daughter when you finally have one?” First of all Kristy I want to apologize about that, I am sorry that I had those thoughts; I didn’t know you at the time and I didn’t realize it was part of your character to be so giving. Also, how was I to know that you would never have a daughter of your own? I think I will always remember those thoughts I had when you gave something special and I scorned your charity. I know you will forgive me, I just need to learn to let it go myself.
I want you to know that I dug that dress out of the play clothing the week after you were shot. There are a few stitches that have come undone and it is a little worn. I showed it to my mom as she read the blog site last Saturday after the funeral. My mom was crying as she read and when I showed her the dress she held it up, and noticed the holes and said “I am going to fix this dress.” (She is really good with the sewing machine.) I want you to know Kristy that that dress will be taken care of, it will be fixed and it will be a reminder to me and I will make sure that it will always serve as a reminder to Brenna that that dress represents you and your life; in essence I will teach her that that dress represents charity.
Finally, I hope you are resting for a season and I wish you the best of luck in whatever calling you have coming your way. May God continue to bless you and your family, especially Brandon and Carter. Thank you so much for your service in this life, I suspect that when you passed through the veil you heard “well done thou good and faithful servant…” I hope that through your example, but more importantly the example of our Savior I too can be so lucky.
Peace,
Jon

2008-01-20T10:53:00.000-07:00

Kristy grew up in my Ward. Some of my children are the same ages of the Palizzi kids. My son is a year younger than Kristy. Before my son got his driver's license Kristy drove him and another boy to earlier morning seminary. They boys would complain that Kristy would be singing wide awake every morning to the radio. They were hoping to get a few moments of rest on the drive down to the church building but no such luck. Tonight my son and his wife were visiting me. His wife asked if he had any experience with Kristy being so frank. He said yes, she told someone that he would be cute, if his ears didn't stick out, if his eyes weren't so small and his nose wasn't so big. He did finally grow into his face we are happy to say. And we all know that girls don't usually think the boys in their own ward are cute. My husband was also one of Kristy's Bishops. One summer our Stake had a youth activity. It was a backpack trek. When the youth were getting divided up into groups she was put in my husband's group. She walked to her group and looked at my husband and said, "Oh great, we have Bishop Push". My husband was the former scout leader and was famous for his killer hikes. He said it was the longest he ever heard her go without speaking. There were some very step trails with some of the most amazing views and she was taking it all in. During a night hike all the youth and leaders hiking in a line holding hands. It was pitch black. Kristy had a hold of my husband's hand and she told him, I know when we are on the trail, it is smooth and quiet but as soon as we go off the trail it gets loud and branches are breaking around us. So it is with our lives. After the Washington Memorial we had a luncheon that hundreds stayed for, neighbors, teachers, school friends, church friends, everyone who's life Kristy had touched. The church was filled with hundreds that care and love the Palizzi family. I thought of Bishop Richard C. Edgley's talk from last conference, "What happens to one happens to all. We endure together. May we be an instrument in lightening the burden of others"
Leslie

My experience with Kristy

2008-01-18T15:01:00.000-07:00

I have known the Palizzi family for some 16 years now, Ann played the piano at my wedding. Upon hearing of Kristy's death I was deeply saddened. Since then and since the memorial here in Washington on Wednesday I have been inspired. I am attaching an email I sent out to family and friends after the service.

What I need to share with you all though is Kristy had a wonderful example of love and service in her mother. I am currently going through a heartwrenching divorce and after the memorial when most guests had left Ann enveloped me in her arms and asked how I was doing and offered love and support to me. My heart ached for them at this time and yet she embraced me and said things I so desperately needed to hear.

Ann and Al and the rest of your family, know that you will always hold a special place in my heart, and that Kristy's life will live on in her wonderful legacy!

The email I sent:

Subject: My New Inspiration

Dear friends and family,

Today I went to a memorial service for a friend who was tragically killed by her estranged husband on January 6th (her 30th birthday) on her way into church in Lehi, Utah. Despite the tragic circumstances of her untimely death this was one of the most touching inspirational services I have ever been at. You could definitely feel the love of the Lord there and his spirit burned deep within my heart as tears flowed so freely from my eyes.

Her name was Kristy and she is my new hero, someone who, through her death, has inspired me to live a better life. These two excerpts from the service really touched me and I want to share them with you.

On the program her mother said:

A Mother's Wish:

Kristy's life was dedicated to compassion and service. Her mother's greatest wish is that in her memory we follow her lead. Find someone to serve, seek out a lonely heart, make someone smile or laugh, throw a party, give a compliment....do something to lift another.

And Gloria Jacobsen shared this poem which you may be familiar with but I did not remember it or have never had it hit me like it did today, for in her short 30 year dash she blessed so many lives.......

The Dash

I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from the beginning… to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth…
and now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own;
the cars…. the house… the cash…
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard…
are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left.
(You could be at “dash mid-range.”)

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real,
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
and more often wear a smile…
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy’s being read
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent your dash?

- Linda M. Ellis ((c) Copyright 1999)

I hope to live my life that I can be proud of my dash! Like Kristy did.

Love,
Deone

Sister Jacobsen's Talk

2008-01-17T21:11:00.001-07:00

I attended the Memorial for Kristy yesterday in Washington. The talks and music were absolutely beautiful, and such a beautiful honor to Kristy. I could feel her there in the chapel with us for a minute or two. The strength of Ann astounds me. What an amazing example.

I couldn't help but crying as Honor sang that beautiful song because Kristy should have been standing with her. I could almost hear Kristy's voice blending with Honor's. That's a duet I will miss tremendously.

I would love to get a copy of the talk that Sister Jacobsen gave. I really loved that talk, and would love to have it to read and study. Is there any way we can get that posted here?

Ann, Al and family, we love and care about you very much. You are in our prayers and thoughts daily!

Love, Joanne, Pamela, and family

Kristy Ragsdale's Eulogy for Washington State Memorial Service

2008-01-17T14:29:00.000-07:00

Kristy Koreen Palizzi Ragsdale was born in Tacoma, Washington on the 6th of January, 1978. She died in Lehi, Utah on her 30th birthday, January 6, 2008. Those who knew her best will agree that she lived more in her thirty short years than most people do in 60, or in 90, or even in 120 years on this earth.

Kristy was a busy little person from her very earthly beginnings. She kept her mother on constant alert with her running, climbing, jumping, giggling, chattering, and, sometimes, her sassiness. As Christy grew older, her mother Ann was more than once overheard to say to less-experienced mothers of challenging children, “Believe me. If I could survive Kristy, you can survive too.”
For example, Ann related to her friend, Judy, stories about Kristy’s childhood to encourage Judy that she could survive her own busy little son, Sam. Here are her memories of two of Ann’s accounts.
Judy writes:
[On one occasion] Kristy decided to climb scaffolding in the gym at the stake center during stake conference and twirl on the bars twenty feet in the air . . .Kristy refused to come down and [her father] Al had to climb up to get her. I think, Judy adds, she was around 4 years old.”
Another story Judy remembers Ann telling her was that “When in the first grade, Kristy was helping a little girl [with learning disabilities] . . . and the teacher told Kristy to do her own work. Kristy [turned to the teacher and replied] that she was helping the little girl and if the teacher was doing the job the state was paying her to do she wouldn’t have to help her.

When little Kristy stopped moving long enough for a person to take a look at her, what they saw was a very cute little girl with sparkling brown eyes and a charming smile. She had a cute way of talking, too. Once, at about age three, when standing up to a pack of little boys due to some offense or another, she and her friend Naomi, who also had her own cute way of pronouncing words, were heard scolding the boys to make it clear that they themselves were not boys, they were girls. And so, Kristy and Naomi emphatically declared their gender, one stating,” Well, we’re gills,” and the other, “Yeah, we’re ghouls.”

It will not surprise anyone who knew Kristy that once, when a new mother from Kristy’s church congregation was suffering after the death of her first baby, Kristy, without saying a word to anyone about it, called up the grieving sister and asked if there was anything she could do to help. That Kristy made such a phone call is not surprising to those who knew her. What may surprise you is to know that at the time of this compassionate—and unprompted--phone call, Kristy was a mere five years of age.
Kristy had a heart turned to service from her very beginnings.

Our Savior admonishes us to be like little children, and Kristy retained childlike qualities throughout her life. Like a little child, she would approach strangers and friends alike with piercing curiosity and frankly honest comments. Sometimes those who did not know her well did not perceive the love which was at the core of Kristy and were taken aback. When someone once complained to me about such a verbal offense, I replied, “You have to remember that Kristy has no filters on what she says, but she has a heart of gold, and I love her.”

And so did many, many others love Kristy. For she not only had no verbal filters, she also had no filters on her ability to have fun, to party, to make friends, to laugh (punctuated by her famous snort), to speak out, to sing, to beautify, to listen --or to truly and genuinely love even as Jesus loved.
In fact, Kristy personified four qualities of true Disciples of Christ as enumerated in Mosiah chapter 18 in the Book of Mormon. Listen as I read them, and note how well they fit the Kristy that you knew:
[Disciples of Christ] are:
“willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light”
“willing to mourn with those that mourn”
“yea, and comfort those who stand in need of comfort”
“and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that [they] may be in, even until death,”

Here are some examples of Kristy’s outreach in each of these areas, gleaned from her online memorial:
One: Kristy was willing to bear the burdens of others, that they could be light.

From Tracy:
“[Kristy] cared about everyone she came in contact with. I remember when we found out my daughter had a genetic disorder and needed intense therapy. I hardly knew [Kristy], and yet she came to me and asked about my daughter and then asked if she could watch my other three children for me so that I could take my daughter to therapy uninterrupted. How thoughtful!
I think she offered to throw a baby shower for everyone who got pregnant in our ward—that’s just the kind of person she was!”

From Ana Garcia:
“I worked for Kristy . . . for almost 2 years, I used to clean her house, she was one of the first people that gave a job in her house to me . . . . I remember the first day that I left a flyer on her front door. An hour later she called me and since I didn’t speak English very well so we didn’t understand each other really good, she told me to just go to her house and so I went [;] that when I met her.
Since that first day I began to work with her and she help me so so much. She recommended me to the whole neighborhood, she would call her friends and would say oh you have to meet her, because she want to help me and she always tell them nice things about me and she knew that I had just gone through divorce, she help me so so much. Thanks to her, I remember when she told me “Ana I will never leave you, ever, you will be working with me forever . . .”

From Kristy’s doctor’s wife:
“Every year my husband sponsors a Sub for Santa drive through his business. He works two days for free and allows his patients to bring in gifts, food, or money for the children’s Christmas. Last year he sponsored 7 children. Kristy brought in a pair of shoes for each child. She said that if she was a struggling mother, she would want her children to have nice, warm shoes to wear, and she felt that this was the greatest way for her to help. I remember seeing all 7 pairs of shoes under his Christmas tree, and feeling so grateful to her and her generosity. It may seem like a simple thing, but I’m sure it meant so much to those children, and also to the mother of those children.

Two: Kristy had a capacity to mourn with those that mourned

From Amy:
When I miscarried a year ago this past December Kristy came by and brought me yummy cookies and cried with me. She listened to me and shared . . . “

From Corinne:
“I have so many wonderful and sweet memories of our dear Kristy. She was so very sensitive and in tune with me when I needed to just talk. She always knew what to say and how to say just what I needed to hear. She also knew when and how to listen with her whole heart and would just watch me talk with her deep beautiful brown, caring, and kind eyes that had so much love and concern and compassion in them. Oh, how I could feel her love for me and compassion for how I felt. It as though she knew what I felt!”

Three: Kristy comforted those who stood in need of comfort.

From a Relief Society sister:
“On one Sunday approximately four years ago, I was sitting in front of my fellow sisters as a member of the Relief Society Presidency. For some reason that has long escaped me, I sat facing them unable to control my tears. I remember thinking, here I am, falling apart, and not one person is noticing. Until Kristy. A note made its way to my hands, lending support and encouragement with a gentle reminder that I was not alone and that I mattered.

From Amy:
When my son had a lump in his leg last April I was so distressed at the horrible testing he had to endure that day. I reluctantly went to the Relief Society function that evening. [Kristy sang that night and] said she didn’t know why she was supposed to sing the song she chose but she knew that she had to sing it. . . . I knew at that moment why she was prompted to sing the song she did. The song she sang had a line in it [very familiar and comforting to me, which I had in my mind just before she started singing.] [Afterward,] I told her what [had] happened with my son that day and what [had] happened with her song. She hugged me and cried with me and gave me that song. She just handed it over.

And Four: Kristy stood as a witness of God in all times and all things, and in all places that she was in, even until death.

From Emily Allan Wood:
In 5th grade, she testified to our class at Milton Elementary that our history book was wrong and that Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon rather than wrote it. I remember feeling amazed that she had the courage to testify in front of the whole class, and tell them that the church is true.

From a fellow full-time missionary:
Sister Palizzi was in my district in the MTC. I remember her as a person with a strong testimony and a very outgoing personality. She was a caring and beautiful person. I wish I could have known her longer than those short 2 weeks.

From Mel Hegewald:
Kristy has a strong testimony of our Savior Jesus Christ and for His gospel. She holds fast to her testimony and her faith through trials and difficult times. She doesn’t waiver.

From a Relief Society sister:
“Kristy was smart and spiritual. I enjoyed her comments at church and in my home, as she was my visiting teacher for a while. She saw the spiritual in so many things I hadn’t. I was always impressed in her ability to quote scriptures and people. Her beautiful voice sang true praises of our lord Jesus Christ.”

From Amber:
“I remember talking with [Kristy] as we worked together in the kitchen on enrichment nights. Neither of us the type to hold back our thoughts, we had some wonderful and candid talks. But the thing I remember most about her was her testimony. It seemed to radiate from her no matter what the conversation was about.”

From a gospel instructor:
[Kristy] was such an example to me in so many ways. Never afraid to bear her testimony. Never afraid to make a friend. Never afraid to say what’s on her mind. Never afraid to help others. She had courage. She was authentic.
“Kristy had a testimony so simple and pure! She was never afraid to share it. I think every month that she lived in our ward she was up bearing her testimony. Every church lesson she had a comment. It was so nice to be a teacher and actually have someone to contribute to your lesson. What an example she was to me!”

What an example Kristy was to each and all of us. Think again of Kristy as I read the full text of Mosiah 18, verses 8 and 9:
“And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;
“Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need to comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—
Don’t you wish you could be like Kristy Koreen Palizzi Ragsdale in her emulation of Jesus Christ?

Think of becoming like Kristy was, inasmuch as her life reflected the qualities of our beloved Savior. Think of how much you would like to be like Christ as I read now Mosiah 18:11:
“And now when the people had heard these words, they clapped their hands for joy, and exclaimed: This is the desire of our hearts.”

In contemplating becoming like her Savior, Jesus Christ, I am confident that Kristy would clap her hands for joy, and exclaim: this is the desire of my heart!

May we, too, remember the example of our Savior and love and serve Him by joyfully serving His children, as Kristy did.

[Thank you, D. Allan for the link to this!!]

Kristy's Washington Memorial

2008-01-17T14:28:00.001-07:00

Kristy's memorial was held in the Puyallup Stake center where her parents' ward meets. It was packed! People who had moved from the area that we hadn't seen in years came. Kristy's life touched many and there were old and young and in between in attendance. Most of us cried during Honor's song ("He'll Carry You") and she was accompanied by Kristy's mom, Ann. Donnell Allan gave a very nice eulogy and quoted many comments from this blog. Gloria Jacobsen spoke on the plan of salvation, it so comforting to know that in the eternities we will all be together again. The final speaker was our Stake President, Larry Steveson, who also gave us words of hope. The closing hymn was "Be Still My Soul". I think the last verse of this hymn says it all: "Be still, my soul: The hour is hastn'ing on when we shall be forever with the Lord, when disappointment, grief, and fear are gone, Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored. Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past, all safe and blessed WE SHALL MEET AT LAST." We love you Kristy and we will never forget you. Nathan's Mom

Music

2008-01-17T10:05:00.000-07:00

Thanks so much to all of you who have posted here. It has been such a comfort to read all about Kristy. I would love to hear about the memorial service in Washington from anyone that was able to be there.

I too would love to hear Kristy singing, if anyone has her recorded.

Sharon

Kristy has made me want to do better.

2008-01-16T12:59:00.000-07:00

I did not know Kristy personally. I am from Utah originally and still read the Daily Herald online to keep up with my old home town as my family still lives in Utah County. I read about Kristy online and can't seem to get her out of my heart and mind. I check your blog each day to see if there are any new stories about her. I wept when I read the article on her funeral. Kristy sounds like an amazing woman that we can all learn a great deal from.

I wish I could have known her personally. She has influenced my life just in reading this blog and what a loving, giving, unselfish person she was. I have made a few phone calls and written a few thank you notes this week that I have put off for far too long. I will be making a bigger effort to let the people in my life know that I love them. When I wonder how someone is doing, I will no longer wonder and actually pick up the phone and call them. Kristy has made me want to be a better friend, mother, daughter and wife. I did not know her, but yet I feel love for her.

I have been touched by the music on the blog also and was wondering if there was a recording of Kristy singing that you could put on the blog for those of us who have never heard this beautiful singing voice everyone talks about.

Thank you for the work that you are doing in letting so many people know this amazing woman. Kristy is not gone. She lives, and will continue to touch many lives through her example. My heart and prayers are with her family and friends.

Christine

Fly Away Home, Songbird

2008-01-16T12:08:00.000-07:00

Somehow I've managed to put off writing this message. Kind of like I manage to put off doing those things in life that are really so simple, but I use the excuse of "I just don't have time". Kristy has been on my heart so much this last year, and I never made the time to find her.

Today I am going to her memorial service in Washington. How is it that someone, whom I haven't spoken to in years, has left such a void in my life? That is a testament to the person that Kristy was and what she did…once you met her, you'd never forget her. Even after she's gone from this earth, she continues to touch people's lives.

I knew Kristy as a child, we had so much fun together and I have many memories of time spent with her. I really can't remember why we went our separate ways when we moved onto high school. Maybe it was new friends, maybe it was that we were growing into different people…shoot, maybe it was a boy! What I remember is her big infectious laugh…and that she was my dear friend.

I am so thankful for this blog, through your messages I am getting to know Kristy as an adult and it makes me love her even more. It makes me want to be more like her. What a heart she had! If we could all be like her, the world would be a nicer place.
Father God, I thank you for this beautiful life you created and used for so much good. You sent her to touch the lives of so many people across this country, and she gladly followed your will with such grace and beauty. Thank you Lord for the gift of her friendship. I give you praise for the unity that her families have been able to find and I pray that their boys will always feel your love and warmth and that they will find comfort knowing that their mother is singing in heaven with you. Amen.

Our great commission in life is to love the Lord and to love each other. Let's remember to do that everyday.

Melissa (Chastain) Huffines

2008-01-15T21:44:00.000-07:00

I read a great book the other day and just wanted to recommend it to all of you. I'm sure some of you have read it, but if you haven't, It's a great one and has lifted my spirit. Reading it has renewed my drive to do my best while here and fulfill my mission on earth; it has reaffirmed that we truly are never ever alone, and that Kristy is still checking in on us (as well as other loved ones who have passed on.) It is called "The Message" By Lance Richardson, and I think you can buy it anywhere, I know for sure that Deseret and Seagull have it as well as Amazon. It's short and easy reading, you can finish it in a couple hours. I highly recommend it to anyone reading this blog... It will help.
Erin

Such a beautiful spirit.

2008-01-15T21:43:00.000-07:00

We've known the Palizzi Family for a long time (in Washington). Our hearts have ached for them at this time. Our hearts have also been touched by the outpouring of love expressed by family and friends towards Kristy and her family. What a blessing to have such wonderful memories. Each of our five children have expressed their feelings of sadness to me over Kristy's passing. We remember her as being so happy and exuberent. She touched so many with her sweet spirit and cheerfulness. I think of that hymn "Each Life That Touches Ours for Good", (Hymn #293). I can tell she has touched so many. She had such a beautiful voice. She sang at two of our daughter's wedding receptions (Karah and Marissa) and also at our son, Joe's, wedding luncheon. She so freely shared her talents, just like her mom, Anne. Al and Anne, we want you to know we admire your strength and testimony. Our family will continue to pray for comfort and peace to be with both families and those two precious little boys. Lovingly, Rex, Linda and Family

Kristy is an inspiration to me

2008-01-15T16:30:00.001-07:00

I didn't know Kristy, but from what I have read about her, I wish with all my heart I did. I know she would have been a true and lovingfriend to me. I have been inspired by her all week. I have realized from Kristy's example, that I have to bear my testimony about what I feel and know is true. I can't hold myself back anymore because I am too shy. I am grateful for her example of warmth, love, friendship, honesty, service, sense of humor, beauty and dedication to her family. I know her spirit lives and she is engaged in a marvelous work. I know despite this tragedy she is happy and she is continuing to serve more people than we could ever imagine. I pray that God will bless her family and friends during this difficult time.

Thank you Kristy for being my new friend and teaching me to be a better person.

Shannon

P.S Thanks for the music on the site....Kristy continues to know how to touch people with the music she loves.

2008-01-15T15:04:00.001-07:00

I knew the Palizzi for many years. What a wonderful family and what a wonderful individual kristy was. She always brought a smile to a room and always kept her brothers in check. She was an individual who put attention and praise on others rather than herself. My heart goes out to her children who have lost there wonderful mother. I know the Palizzi family will make sure those children know the wonderful person Kristi was. All our prayers go out to the Palizzi's.

Matthew, Cherie & Collin Larsen

For Kristy

2008-01-15T13:48:00.000-07:00

I don’t know Kristy or her family, but I feel the need to share some thoughts. I believe that out of this tragedy her wonderful life will touch many people. I can tell by the comments posted that she already has touched many lives. She will be working hard to continue her mission and to bring others to Christ.

To Kristy,
May you be in God’s hand and I pray that he will allow your innocent children to feel your loving presence the rest of their lives. May God bless your family and all those who’s lives were touched by this event.
A friend.

My best friend

2008-01-15T12:43:00.000-07:00

So I got back from Utah last night, after having gone to the viewing and sung at the funeral; and I have a few feelings about this past weekend.

The first is that I didn't realize just how much I loved Kristy. I knew she was like my sister, and I knew that we had the best time together, but I didn't know the depth of love I had. It was overwhelming at times. She really meant more to me than I think she ever knew. (I think she knows now, though)

Another thing that stood out to me this weekend is that everyone loved Kristy that way .... and that's the way Kristy lived .... truly loving everyone and truly caring for those she came in contact with.

I have grieved a great loss, and will continue to miss her until I see her again, however, I know she is happy. I feel in my heart that she is okay.

At times this past week, I have felt like Kristy was watching over me. A few times when I was losing my patience with one of my kids, I felt like Kristy was watching me and it made me want to be better.

That is what this has meant to me. The whole purpose of life and reason we're here is more apparent now. It took this to make me realize that some things just aren't important. Something I think Kristy knew all along.

I hope we can all use this to realize what's important to each of us, and know that service and love are where it's at. Kristy had already figured that out ....

Thank you Kristy for always believing in me.

Love, Honor

Not Lost

2008-01-15T11:55:00.002-07:00

Thought I would take a moment to write...

I felt my baby move for the first time on Saturday! I'm 16 weeks along.. it was a great feeling. Subtle, gentle, and calming. I had to prepare a talk in my new ward, it was on Joseph Smith. I thought, how in the world can I prepare a talk this week, of all weeks??? I read a post on here about when Kristy was little and she told her elementary teacher (I'm sure very strongly and loudly) that Joseph Smith didn't write the Book of Mormon, he TRANSLATED it.

In preparing my talk, I felt touched by the spirit of God. Subtle, gentle, and calming. THIS is exactly why I should prepare this talk on Joseph Smith. The great Prophet and my great friend had quite a few things in common! They both were unafraid to share what they felt about the gospel and COMPLETELY unafraid to shine as one of the universe's most important people.

I listened to some music yesterday and closed my eyes and thought about her and for a split second, I felt her around me. Subtle, gentle, and calming. I felt the peace that the gospel brings. I felt the peace that Kristy feels now. I felt the peace that comes from truly loving the people around you and missing that girl who left us all too soon. She is ok. I'm ok.

I woke up this morning and an inspired reader had requested this song, "Lost" by Michael Buble. It talks about not being alone and not feeling lost. And I hoped so much that Kristy didn't have to die all alone. I'm so glad I know she didn't. Her mother, and legions of Angels were there to hold her hand. To hold her spirit. To meet her gaze. Listening to this song with tears streaming down my face, it felt good to remember her. I could see her doing a little jazzy sway to the music... I wish we could have gone up to her "spa" in Heber that she ALWAYS invited me to. ("Two for one, Sarah, they have two for one!!!!!")

And I only knew her for 9 months.

Love you girl,
Sarah

Amazing Example

2008-01-15T11:55:00.001-07:00

I too, like so many others, did not know Kristy, but she truly has touched my life. When I first heard about everyting that happened, my heart ached deeply for her family, especially those dear, sweet precious children. Everyday since then, I have been reading the entries that her friends, family and complete strangers have wrote about her, and I feel like I have come to know her and love her just as much as you all did! She was so full of life and everyone that knew her loved her. I am so amazed at the Christ-like life she lead and the wonderful person that she was. Kristy has been an amazing example to me by the type of life that she lead. I can only hope to be half of the woman that Kristy Ragsdale was.

Jennifer

2008-01-15T08:24:00.000-07:00

I do not know Kristy or any of you as her family members and friends but I cannot stop thinking about all of you. I just wanted all you to know how sorry i am and i feel tremendous pain for your aching hearts. I hope that you feel the love and support of so many friends, neighbors, and complete strangers and that their support will strengthen you now and for the long months and years to come. I pray that Kristy's little boys will be able to be happy, righteous men and be loved by grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins on both sides of their family. My thoughts will be with everyone affected for a long time to come.

Jodi